I rescue worms.  I thought the kids in Abby's preschool would think it was awesome...  a great game!
They didn't.
I just can't stand to see them all on the blacktop and sidewalks and walkways...  washed up, about to dry out - as soon as the sum comes out and they can't worm their little ways down through the rock they've propped themselves up on, they're dead.
And man, I appreciate those little wormies.  They do good work in my soil.  And yours.
So, when I see one that is especially needy - be it an extra squirmy one or a super fat one (easier to pick up) I grab him and throw him into the grass or nearby garden.
If that's crazy, I don't wanna be sane.


You know that song, "Home Sweet Home"?  Originally done by Motley Crue recently covered by Carrie Underwood?  Well, the kids LOVE it.  Wyatt has a serious thing for Miss Underwood, but that's a different story.
So, we hear it in the car.
That song takes me back to my years of hanging out with my brother and his buddies.  Before he left for the Air Force.
It takes me back to wine coolers, Parliaments and thinking I was hot shit.  Those were the days...

So, now, I hear Carrie Underwood who I don't care for but do like most of her songs, in spite of myself.  And I sing it as loud as I can in the car (with my girl singing right along with me - that kid is a musical genius!  they both are, really...  Wyatt has been able to carry a tune since he was merely months old and Abby has that performance gene that seems to run in my family...  ok, it's just me.)
Anyway - I sing it with Abby even though Wyatt completely objects.  He would prefer his Carrie to sing directly to him, no back up required.
And I heard lyrics in it today that I have certainly heard a few thousand times before but really struck me tonight:

My Hearts Like An Open Book
For The Whole World To Read
Sometimes Nothing
Keeps Me Together
At The Seams

That song is totally about me, man...

Abby loves to sing.  She stands on the fireplace hearth and performs for us daily.  If she can't get all of us in the living room, she'll settle for a half-attention audience in the kitchen, the bedroom or wherever she can find a small majority.

The other days she told Jay that she had to show him her new dance.  Like the fabulous audience he has been trained to be, he stopped in his tracks and gave her his full attention.  She was about to begin when suddenly, she stopped.  She paused, looked puzzled and announced that she "needs a more fancy dress for this show".   We carried on with our days until further notice.

She doesn't bore us with "I am a Little Teapot" or "Twinkle, Twinkle", either.  She knows multiple Dixie Chicks songs, she loves Lady Gaga and knows more words to "My Life Would Suck Without You" than I do.  She's awesome.

And the little man - he sings and dances right along side her.  He knows a lot of words to a lot of songs and as soon as we get in the car he demands "friends from High School"  or "Single Ladies"!!  Sure, sometimes he prefers his Wiggles or even a little Imagination Movers and I am about to go to I-Tunes to download the Yo Gabba soundtrack but I do love how they are so tiny and so cute singing Top 40.  Sure, some of the lyrics are questionable.  But, they are too little to ask those questions just yet.  And when they are old enough to ask, I'll be ready.

Today was the last Wednesday to weigh in.  I was truly, truly hoping to  be down 2 pounds this week.  That would put me at 10 pounds for the month, even though it wasn't a steady 2 pounds per week.

But, it wasn't 2.  I don't track the decimals, but I'm pretty sure that I actually gained a half a pound.  The big number stayed the same, though.  No loss.

So, I know people always say "the last 10 is the hardest" and while this is my last "big 10" it is not, by far, my last 10.

I have to think about the calendar and the weight and the time of year before I set my new goal but I am pretty sure my new deadline will be my 34th birthday.   That is about 10 weeks from now.

I'm not saying you have to go to Jay's site.  You can if you want to but you don't have to.  But, he has been posting some seriously delicious, diet-friendly meals.

Packing, packing, packing.  Getting new carpet installed next week.  The carpet will go down in the Living Room and the entire upstairs.

This is a job that really had to be done, staying or going, so I am unbelievably excited.

I will take some before and afters after I finish the packing that has to be done to help with that job.  Emptying bookcases now, rather than later, packing books, pictures and chochkies.  Getting rid of that hulking mass of an armoire that has haunted us since the day we moved in.  Maybe someone wants it and can come get it.  Maybe Jay and I will take turns hacking at it with various axes, knives and sharp instruments.  I really do love packing.

I love books.  I love reading a really great book.  What defines a really great book is subject to what's going on in my world at the time and why I'm reading it.
But I have a hard time finding a greater escape or a more satisfying return...

For example, I think "Kiss Goodnight, Sam" is an excellent book.  One of my all-time favorites, in fact.  I used to read it to Abby almost every night for a solid year of her babyhood.  She loved it, I loved it and I will save that book forever.

 

Another example of that is "Your Kind of Mommy" which I still read on occasion.

Good examples of fiction that read like real life because they're "loosely based" on the author's real life but not technically non-fiction include "Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons".  That was the first book I read for my Book Club and it opened my world of reading as a 30-something woman.  Really.

I am not the Classic Literature type.  I can appreciate some really good ones that I actually read in high school but I have a mental block against either reading them again or reading any that I was supposed to and never did. 

Another one is the one I just finished (only a week after our official Book Club meeting about it!) - "The Help".  Terrific book.  I was hesitant at first because it takes place in the 1960's.  Considering I was born in 1976, I didn't think I'd like it, didn't think I could "relate".  Dumb.
I did like it.  Loved it.
And I could relate.  With all of the characters, really...  from the tough-talking Minny to the wisdom-sharing Aibileen to the ignorant turned liberal Skeeter  to the openly-racist and shallow Hilly.

I have read more and more non-fiction but it has to be current and often include some sort of violence or abuse.  I don't know how that makes me sound but it's true.
"Columbine" was a great one.  It went deep into the entire event on April 20, 1999.  It started a couple of years prior and ended a couple of years after.  It explained things that the news did not.  It made me feel better about that day and those kids and it also fed that little desire to see and hear about that awful, tragic event that you hate to admit you really want to hear and see.

Memoirs are cool, too.  Those are technically non-fiction, too, but different.  It's weird how I can be so into a book with very little point (if any point at all) except to talk about oneself.  Books that have nothing to do with me, that have almost no relation to my life at all.

huh.
I guess that's why, guess I just figured it out.  It's fun to watch someone else live their life.  Essentially, it's blogging with a binding and a cover.

A couple of those I read recently:  

Wednesday of this week is the last day of March.
March is always such a long month.  Nothing to do, nothing to see, crappy weather.  But I really loved it this year.  It seems to have flown by, our social calendar was pretty busy and with our "sell the house" initiative shaping up, I've not been bored at all!
So, it's almost over now and then comes April with it's buds and green and sunny afternoons, cool evenings.
This will be my last Wed AM weigh-in for March.  I did ok this month.  I did not lose 2 pounds each week but I lost at least 1, sometimes 3 and I'm ok with that.
I plan to hit the gym every day this week since I will have a very food-filled weekend coming up.  Plus, I haven't seen my family since Christmas so I want to feel super-strong when I see them on Easter and hear them ooh & ah over my hotness.

Easter Weekend will be spent in NYC.  Marriott Marquis on Saturday, Auntie Frannie's on Sunday.  If the weather is nice we'll stroll through Central Park, maybe hit the zoo.  I am not a fan of "the zoo" in general but I've never been to the one in Central Park and it is a very "kid-friendly" thing to do.  If it is cold, rainy or if we just would prefer it, we'll go to The Museum of Natural History.  I think we're leaning that way anyway, what with Wyatt's devotion to all things dinosaur-related these days.
Honestly, if you have never been to this museum, you need to get in your car immediately.  It is, by far, the greatest non-art museum in the world.  Kids of all ages, seriously, get out of your house right now.  The whale alone is worth the trip.

My parents will be at my aunt's for Easter.  Nice since we haven't seen them since their trip south just after Christmas.  I don't miss them much during the winter because I talk to them all the time and I'm pretty used to them being gone.  But in the last week or so of their retreat I miss them terribly, probably because I know it's only a few days till we see them again.
But, as always, I will see them for 20 minutes, see that nothing's changed and be ready for another 3 months to go by before we meet again.
I kid.  I kid.
Sort of.

Today is the 4th Wednesday of March and I lost 1 more pound this week.
Yes, my goal was 2 pounds per week but knowing that I am eating like a pig (ate restaurant goodness 3 times in the past week and I am NOT sorry) and exercising I am happy to have lost 1 pound.
Today I am vowing to track my food on Weight Watchers religiously.  Some days I know I do not eat enough and that will only hurt me in the long run.  It's not because I'm not hungry or I am trying to starve myself, it's that I don't have time.
Also, I think my tastes are changing - and combined with my desire to not overeat - sometimes I don't eat dinner.  Where, in the past, I would have eaten it even if I didn't like it if I was hungry.
That totally grosses me out now.
So, this week (starting today) I will track my food more carefully, continue exercising and see if I can end this month strong.
For the record, though, today is a very proud day for me.
I have mentioned how I lost a bunch of weight doing Weight Watchers before, without exercising.  It was 2005.  Same deal as this year, my "New Year's Resolution", but it was halted by my pregnancy.  I lost 30 pounds then gained it - and more - back over the course of the past 5 years.  I can blame pregnancy, nursing, staying home (lifestyle change) but regardless of the reasons I was not taking care of myself.
Looking over the past years of weigh-ins with Weight Watchers (I should really just bite the bullet and become a lifetime member) I see now that in January 2006 I was at my fattest ever (not including during pregnancy, of course) and now, March 2010 I weigh less than I did post-weight loss/pre-pregnancies. 
It's only one pound less, but knowing that is a huge bolster to my confidence.
After all, I was in my twenties then.  Now I'm in my thirties - and exercising and still dieting to lose weight.
I will hit my goal - and I will be one hot mama.

In my next house, I am going to unpack every single box.

Right now, after having been in this house for five and a half years, I still have unpacked boxes in the closets.  The house we moved from, to here, we lived in for less than 2 years.  Prior to that I lived in an apartment with my new husband for just over a year.
So, I don't know how long some of these boxes have been packed.  But I am unpacking them, reviewing them and either re-packing and labeling for my next house or tossing.
And when I get to my next house - wherever that might be - I am unpacking every single box.
If I don't have a place for it, I will throw it out.
My next house is going to be my forever house.  20 years.  A thirty-year Fixed Mortgage.  A good school system.  A nice neighborhood.  Enough room to spread out without allowing so much room that we spread too much. 
I don't want more than we can afford.  But I want a certain quality of living, a certain feeling of home.  And we'll know it when we see it.

Maybe here in Hebron (*please!*) or maybe in Longmeadow.  I think I've narrowed it to those 2 choices of town.  But, wherever it is, it will be home.  For real this time.

I feel fat and bloated today so I am not weighing myself.
I know that goes against my March Vow but I will weigh in tomorrow and call it even.
My first Wednesday was a -3, my 2nd was a -2.  This one might be flat or -1 so I'd rather feel better before I see the result.  And tomorrow will be better.  Today is Wednesday, the official lazy day, and I haven't showered, I had PB&J with Cheez Doodles for break/lunch and I'm packing and doing laundry and random household chores.
Tomorrow, I will shower, get dressed and have a prettier day.  And even if I gained weight, I'll feel ok about it.

Spring is so close.  Today I plan to rake out the small garden right out front.  There is stuff popping up and ornamental grass that needs to be cut back and prepped for new growth.
I also think it's time ot put the Cozy Coupe outside.  With his October birthday, Wyatt had the luxury of riding this thing around the house all winter but I think it's time.

Now, as far as the packing topic - I have been filling boxes as I find them.  The beginning stages of packing are so easy.  You don't need every book on your bookshelf or every picture on the wall, so you wrap 'em and pack 'em.  Me, I can't move fast enough.  I love putting things away.  But I'm not buying boxes so I can only move as quickly as my friends drop boxes off.
As far as moving goes, where should we go?  What are the pros and cons of staying in our town?  What would be the pros and cons of starting over?
I haven't been shy about expressing my love for this town to anyone and everyone, specifically my husband who holds no particular attachment here.
My second choice (and about the only other town we agree on) is in MA.  We agree that the town that our good friends are currently occupying is the only one that compares with ours with convenience, quality of living, distance to our families and general awesomeness.

This town is considerably farther from my family but all highway so while it will be al ong drive, it will be an easy one to make.
It's a little farther from my CT-family, too but not too far, it shouldn't be an issue.  (I secretly discussed it with my mother-in-law!)

Decisions, decisions...  only time (and the CT & MA MLS) will tell!!

This afternoon I took Abby to see her first musical stage production...  her first "theater experience".
In my life, the theater, singing, music in general has always been a very big, very spiritual, very personal part of me.
I have loved singing forever and always thought I would be "a singer".  I was a Drama/Performing Arts Major at Community College (I know!  Wow!) and whenever I lost my way in life, I always found comfort in music and performing.
So, it felt very right and very natural to take Abby to a show as soon as I thought she could handle and appreciate it.  The time was right.
She's 4, she loves "Just Girls" time and the show was Beauty and the Beast at the Palace Theater in Waterbury.
We bought her a special dress.  She put on her makeup - which includes glitter and chapstick - and off we went to Waterbury to meet Tono, Uncle Mike, Sami and Leen.
I'm sorry I didn't bring my camera.  All 3 girlies looked precious.

We were right on time and as one might expect, there wasn't much else going on in Waterbury on this Sunday afternoon, so parking was a cinch.
I felt wonderful.  Dressed to impress (both of us), hand in hand, heading into the Palace for a "first" I have been dreaming about since pre-conception.
The first act was very long.  Almost 2 hours and full of songs and dialog that, to quote my girl, were "not the same as the movie".  Also, even with the community theatre grade sets, they managed to make the wolves fairly scary. 
Abby started out in her own seat between her cousin friends, then she switched with Sam and stayed next to me, then she made her way to my lap where she told me that she didn't want to come back "until I turn 6" and that "when the lights come on, I want something to eat."
By the time the first act was over, I wasn't sure if Abby was going to make it through another one.  We went out to the lobby, got a few snacks and talked it over.
She decided that staying through the show was worth it for the restaurant meal with her cousins afterward.
Then, once we were all back in our seats she told me that she was not scared anymore and wanted to sit next to Kathleen and Samantha and she would "see me again when the lights come on."
She made it through to the end. 

Let me tell you something - my beautiful, graceful, polite and sweet 4-year old girl was PERFECTION at her very first Theatrical Performance.

She did not talk (not a lot anyway, and not loudly when she did have to tell me something).
She did not fidget.
She sat up straight, knees together, hands in her lap.
She clapped at all the right times.
I watched her profile more than I watched the stage.  It was truly magical for me.

As far as the actual performance goes - here is my official take on it:
The sets were like phenomenal sets...  for a college or high school production.  In fairness, this is partly because it is a traveling show - they are only in this particular theatre for 6 performances then they are off to the next.  But, I have seen plenty of shows at the Bushnell in Hartford that are also "travelers" and never thought that before.
The talent was 50/50.  The performances by Lumiere, Belle and Gaston were outstanding.  Truly.  But Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts and the Beast were almost awful.

I am a tough critic, I'll admit it.  I get a little catty if someone is not knock-your-socks-off-awesome.  A good show will move my entire body and soul.  I will never forget how I felt the first time I saw Les Mis.  And I will never forget how amazing Chicago was, even though I was in the 2nd to last row of a tiny theatre with a partially blocked view.
Both of those shows were in NY.
But, as far as CT theatre goes, I have been nothing but impressed in Hartford.  Wicked, Mama Mia, Movin' Out...  all 3 at the Bushnell, all 3 were excellent.
So, I'm not a Broadway snob.  I'm a "if you're gonna do this thing that I love so much, you had better do it better than me or I think you're taking my life's passion for granted and you suck."

Our next big theater event will most likely be the Radio City Christmas Spectacular.  Last year we discussed it and it will likely be the women of my CT family...  we may rent a van so we can all go together or we'll drive/train it and meet down there.  But I plan to shop for tickets soon.  You can never plan "too" carefully.  Especially with large groups.

For now, I am looking forward to cleaning, packing, organizing, packing up, shipping out and house hunting.
Aside from the ongoing diet & exercise regime, my days are turning their focus on finishing up the school year, preparing for Spring and getting good ole 131 ready to "show"!!  Love it!

I am totally swiping this idea from a friend, but it suits my mood - and while I've done it before, I don't think I've done it this well!
Loved her post today!!

Things that make me feel happy:

• getting Abby to school on time, with breakfast in her belly.
• hearing Abby & Wyatt playing together.  Even when laughter turns to tears or screeching, it's still awesome.
• my mom-friends.  Far & Near, they make me feel normal and grounded...  even when I am pretty sure I am insane and flighty.
• having the cabinets & fridge full of food that everyone likes, the laundry done & put away and the house clean.  All at the same time.
• exercising.  I would never have thought that, but getting sweaty and feeling strong leaves me feeling very happy and confident.  
• the sound of my husband's footsteps coming towards me, be it up the stairs or down the hall - I love to know he's on his way.
• shopping.  I know, it's so cliche but it's really true.  Buying stuff makes me happy.
• packing and organizing.  labeling.  throwing stuff out.  giving stuff away.  It's all the same, it's very therapeutic.
• feeling understood.
• eating.  
• sitting on the couch, watching tv, doing nothing.
• drinking coffee.
• Easter.  Not only because of Spring and NYC and family but because of what Easter is, what it means.  It is an awesome celebration.
• Book Club.
• House Hunting.
• Yoga.

There's probably more and I may do these more often...  Life is Good.

Today is Monday so I have another weigh-in in 2 days.  Last week, though, was my first March weigh-in and you may recall I promised to lose 2 pounds per week for all 5 Wednesdays of March.
I lost 3 lbs in week # 1.
Go Me.

I have really been enjoying cooking and being creative with Weight Watchers ideals (fat, calories & fiber!), without using meat, and eating as much as I can with as few points as possible!
I love the challenge, the hobby that it becomes.  When it becomes a lifestyle, it becomes routine, part of the every day - and even though (for now) it's retaining it's novelty, it is also fitting into our structure perfectly.  We eat at least 2 meals a day, at least 5 days a week at home.  Lunch is usually not a big deal and sandwiches/salads/frozen meals fill that meal very easily.
Before getting pregnant with Abby I lost 30 pounds on WW.  And that was without exercise.  It's because of the changes I made in my habits.  So, this time, with the habits and the gym - I am feeling really good.
And Jay does a lot of the cooking.  He makes the salads (tossed, veggies and otherwise), he experiments with fish and veggie products, he has been researching and blogging and without him, I would not be anywhere near as into this as I have been.
I do the shopping, the soup making, the dessert creating (I can't go without but I can make them fat and sugar free!).
We encourage each other, root for each other and have just the right amount of competitiveness to keep each other going.  (Ok, we're really, really competitive - sometimes we scare people, but it works for us!)


This weather is awesome.  I know we'll get another snowstorm.  I know it will get really cold again but for now - we're blowing bubbles and riding bikes.  And I have a very strong desire to start raking, pruning and decorating outside and in the gardens.

I crave summer, suntans, mosquitoes, late sunsets on the deck with a cold beer, hearing the trickling of the pond and chirping of the crickets.
I want to smell citronella and sun screen.  I want to come home from the salty beach and jump in my chlorine-y pool.
But first, I want to feel the chill and smell the air before one last snowstorm.  Then, I want to hear the hush of a snowfall one more time.  I want to see big flakes falling silently.  I want to see my breath as I shovel the snow from my driveay one more time.
I know how crazy that sounds because I really do hate it as much as the next guy when it's coming down for the umpteenth time in mid-January.  But here it is March.  We're already having warm days and cold nights.  We set the clocks ahead on Saturday.
I won't mind one more storm, because I'll know it's only one more.
Last year we were at the beach in April.  I can handle a few more weeks of winter.  Then I will love spring, summer, fall and winter once again.  I love New England!

Finally made it to New York yesterday and met Baby Caleb and Baby Isaac.  Caleb is my BFF's new guy and Isaac is her little sister's first baby.

As you might imagine, they are both adorable.

Check out Isaac, easily one of the happiest babies I have ever met - and look at that great hair!

When we first arrived, Caleb was asleep so I just picked him up from his warm, comfy spot and let him sleep on me for a while.  I think we both preferred it that way.  He is still all curled up, arms and legs bent in, fat, warm head all wrinkly and soft - he smells so good like only a new, breastfed baby smells.  He is absolutely beautiful.

His big brother is as happy and adorable as ever - I couldn't believe all the words he has now.  Turns out, we hadn't seen eachother since Wyatt's birthday in October so that is a lot of time for a little guy, lots of stuff happens in a few months when your barely 2 years old.

Here is Baby Caleb with Abby.  She couldn't wait to hold him.

 

 

And here are the three "big kids" watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", pretending they were in the movie theatre:

 

When we left Aunt Belle's, we headed up to my sister's for a quick visit and dinner.  I love my sister.  I love spending some time with my nieces, getting a little QT in the middle of the week like that.  No pressure, no event, no nonsense - just some pizza, some play time and time for jammies & hit the road!

I spent a few minutes teaching Kathleen the notes on the piano and I think she got it.  But - and I can't imagine where she got this from - her distaste for things she's not already the best at made it a pretty short lesson.

It's amazing to me that my sister's kids are going to be 9 & 7 this year.  That's old - that's not "baby" anymore...  that's grade-school-big-kid stuff!  Where the heck does the time go?  I don't care how cliche that sounds - there's a reason people say it all the time!

Another thing that I truly love about going to NY for the day is coming home.  Not because I love Connecticut, Hebron and 131 so much.  I do, but that's not what I mean.  I love the drive home.

I love putting the kids in their jammies, buckling them in to their seats cozy with their "car blankies" and Lambie & Woobie.  I love listening to the Love Songs at night, first on 100.7 in NY and then on 100.5 in CT.

I enjoy the quiet time.  

Sometimes Abby will surpirse me and chatter all, or most of, the way home but last night she didn't make it more than a few exits on 84.

So, I am left with the hum of the road, quiet music and my thoughts.  And that's nice.

I can reflect on my visits.  I try to squash the guilt I feel about coming out to NY and not seeing Auntie Eleanor or Gramma.  Both are in "homes" and both deserve and would love a visit.  I don't have an excuse, so I have guilt.

I reflect on my days of growing up, going to school, living and working in NY.

I compare myself from then to now.

All in all, yesterday was a great day.  I am grateful for my best friend of more than 20 years.  I am thankful for her family (I was happy to see her Dad and brother, too, in addition to Jess).  I am so grateful for my big sister and her girlies.  And I am so grateful to have my Love here at home - supportive and understanding of our absence while we visit, waiting for and missing us at our return.