As I prepare to embark on our first week-long family-of-four vacation, I am finding myself with less excitement and more anxiety.
Will it be more of the same, but in Florida?
Or will it actually feel like a vacation - "away from it all"?
This is not a complaint or a "poor me" post - just an observation.
Is the life I have chosen, as a stay-at-home-mom, not one rich with vacations, relaxations and getaways?
My husband works hard, every day, more than 8-10 hours a day. In addition to his hectic work-life, he goes to college at night and had a house to take care of while also making time to be "daddy" and "honey".
I, too, work hard, I know. I'm not comparing. There is no comparison. I am "mommy" 24 hours a day. I don't punch in or out, I don't get annual reviews or salary increases (or salary, at all). I am my own boss but most of my day is controlled by other forces (namely Abigail & Wyatt). So, if this is my choice, perhaps I need to just give in and know that come September and then in the years to come after that - I will have all the "alone time" & "relaxation" one could ask for.
I have never had any intention of "returning to the work force" once the kids are in school. I plan to clean my own house, volunteer at school, do more in the community, be here more for my husband. Because if you have kids, especially small ones, you know how hard it is to be everything for everyone. So, in these early years, pretty much everyone gets sacrificed for the good of the little ones.
Then, I can let go a little of "mommy" and grab hold more of "wife".
Anyway - we're packing up. The neighborhood is "on watch" and the bags are packed.
Unlikely I will be Blogging considering there's a Hot Tub in our House in Fla!!
So, enjoy your week without me. I will overload you with pictures when I return!
Why Did I Ever Stop Writing On This Blog?
2 years ago
3 comments:
I hope you are able to let go and enjoy. I have a feeling once you get there, surrounded by your family, any anxiety will just melt away. Somehow just the change of scenery makes a difference, even if you're doing the same things. At least that's how I always feel.
Enjoy that hot tub! Can't wait to hear about your trip.
Mwah!
The dialog you create with yourself or with others (whomever "they" may be) that might read what you write - will always keep your grounded in times when reality in fact strikes and you say - WTF....Yeah, things change. They will continue to change. Vacations less frequent, sometimes more frequent, with kids, without kids (though I've not gotten THERE yet). But what you feel is real, and we are all feeling it, girl. For sure. Keep talking about it. You begin to realize how much other "stuff" is filling your life and is fulfilling at the same time. Have a great trip.
Funny how I thought I wouldn't be blogging, eh?
Lots of free time - very little to stress about.
Kimmy - you were right about that one! A change in atmosphere is all it takes! :)
And Gini - you're right, "talking" about it keeps me sane, makes me realize what I am saying and keeps me in line, so to speak. :) That's the whole science behind this Blog - still the longest running "journal" I have ever kept.
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