Missed You...

I may have mentioned this before...  but people who do not signal when they are turning really annoy me.  Being behind someone who is mysteriously slowing down and finally turn -  that's annoying.  But being behind them, I can probably figure it out and slow down with them...  assuming I am looking, and not texting.
But the ones that are coming at me from the left, while I am waiting to turn out and go right.  I hate them.  Because when they don't signal, they waste moments of my time that I will never get back.


I re-signed up for Weight Watchers.  Why don't I just call myself a "Lifer" and save on the monthly fee?  I don't know but I'm back.  And you know what is the worst part?
Not that one Cadbury Cream Egg will take up more than half of my day's intake.  Not that my coffee and skim milk habit actually amounts to One Point...  Not even that I am hungry all the time and actually contemplate how much exercise I would have to trade to eat steak.  I don't mind that - that's a healthy trade off.
No, the worst part is that ONE GLASS OF WINE IS FOUR POINTS!!!  FOUR POINTS!!!  That's half a meal!!  I have to give up food for the Grape.  I'll do it, don't misunderstand me.  I am committed to the Grape and I won't be turned off course.
But really, I think my skin is going to suffer.


The husband has been home for a couple of weeks now.  It's an odd mix of love and discomfort.
I love having him around, but after 15+ months of not having him around, it's taken some adjustments.  All in all, it's worth it.
T-Ball has started up again, yard work beckons and he looks pretty hot on his new Deere.  Yes...  I think his tractor's sexy.


Buffalo Wild Wings just opened up near us.  Never been but I love wings and beer like a man and I am really looking forward to it.  I see a Ladies' Night in my future.
See that?!  See how quickly I can veer off course, Jenny Craig?  From counting points to sucking down buffalo wings and Not Light Beer.
It's a long road ahead, readers.


I continue to battle my "do I send my baby to kindergarten or wait?" issues - suffering in silence because I really just beat my head against the wall.  Do I have some motherly, internal, knowing that sending him is a mistake?  Or am I just paranoid and worried?
I subbed in a kindergarten class yesterday and the teacher, a 30-year veteran, answered me with "I always suggest the gift of time, why rush?".  30 Years.  She's seen a lot more than I can try to understand.  And she's not the "crazy old bat" type that's been teaching for 30 years, she's so in touch and loves her kids so much.
The boy's teacher points to his progress reports and says "there is nothing here that would direct me to tell you to wait."  In translation that means "I am so glad my kids were born first-quarter and I will never have to deal with this."
My heart says I am rushing him.  My brain questions my heart.  My husband is all about the empirical data.  I have none.  I have only worry, constant, unending, emotion-based worry.
However, I will add that with my experience in both kids' classes and in other classes since I started subbing I am starting to find more basis for my worry.  More facts, mixed with even more worry...  So who knows...  a couple more months of school, a couple of months of summer vacation...  only time will tell.


I have officially signed on to be PTA President.  Hold your applause.
My good friend, Claudia, and I will be co-presidents.  Neither of us wants to deal with the drama and bullshit but together, somehow, we will.  And truly, we'll do a really good job.  We're smart, we care and we're involved already - so it should go well.  Stay tuned.




Is it Beach Season yet?  I just vacuumed last year's sand out of my trunk...  in preparation for this year's of course.  Can't mingle the beaches.

Does Anyone Else See Spots?

This has been a very mild winter.
Yes, we got slammed by Irene in August and then again by Alfred 8 weeks later...  but I am feeling light-headed because I feel like I have been holding my breath for 3 months.

We're in Florida right now and the weather is...  mild.  Not too hot, not cold.  I haven't been sweating and dying to jump into the pool.  I have been enjoying the warm sun without the need for a quick cool-down.
We have been swimming, we have been int he Gulf and the pool.
So, not too-too hot, but not so cool that we can't swim and wear sundresses.

The kids and I spent 2 nights at Grammy's.  Thursday we headed to the Orlando International Hyatt to meet Jay.  We spent the evening strolling the mall/airport and the next day we spent at the Roof Pool.  That was cool.
Friday afternoon we checked into our timeshare/condo for the week.
Saturday was spent visiting with good friends of ours that live down here.

And Sunday...  we headed to Disneyworld!!
Sunday at Disney was - By Far - the greatest day of our vacation.
Color me brainwashed.  Call me a stereotype.  Put the Mickey ears on...  we loved it.  Every ride, every character, every employee, every sight and experience...  it blew away my expectations.  Every single bit was so much better than I expected it to be.
I cried at least a half dozen times, for various reasons.  Overwhelmed.  It was awesome.

This morning we decided we had had enough "Cow Country" and headed for the Gulf.  We spent the day at the beach, the pool and then - out to dinner with Grammy.
We're in a Marriott now and Life.  Is.  Good.  I do love a Marriott.

We'll head home tomorrow night.  It's been a wonderful week+ and I am feeling so blessed and so happy and so content and warm & fuzzy and happy....
And full.
Fat, really...

I am so happy that there is absolutely no food in my house right now...  So ready for a clean slate, fresh start and a healthy turnaround...
Fresh, healthy, fat-free, sugar-free, exercise-packed lifestyle.  Because if you put aside all the happy, mushy, "we're so fortunate" crap from the week, a definite takeaway is this:
I cannot take this fat ass into summer.  I will not.

It's Creeping up on me...

Like everyone else, I resolved to quit eating crap and get back into my exercise routine this year.
Winter is a good time to do that because I have a beautiful gym membership that has flexible hours, brilliant child care and all the classes I can handle.  Really, I have zero excuses.
I'm just lazy.
And to add insult to injury, yesterday I sat around watching the kids play in the Germ Tank at the mall while sipping a venti White Chocolate Mocha.  I am not a Starbucks coffee drinker but this is one frothy treat that really soothes my crankiness and makes me feel quite peaceful and decadent.
Unfortunately, it has the calories of 3 small meals and the fat content for a busy day.  I had suspected that, because it's delicious, but I confirmed it on the website.
I am officially over it because it's not like I get one every day and yesterday I really needed it.
But it's a good example of being completely unaware of what we put in our bodies.
Weight Watchers and others have long been telling us to write it down.  Keep track.  Stay aware.
Every Hershey's Kiss, every handful of peanuts, every left over chicken finger from your kids' plates...  it's all going into your body and you are not even realizing it.
I have had days where I can look back and say "man, I haven't eaten anything today" but really?  I snacked and grazed and ate off the kids' plates all day.  Obviously I fed them.  And if I wasn't hungry there had to be a reason!
I have also fallen into the terrible habit of avoiding my vegetables.
When my mom cooked me dinner every night I never went without my greens.
And when I cooked for my husband every night we never went without.
Now, with him on the road I don't always cook a proper meal.  Mac & Cheese, Pizza, Pasta, Steak on the Grill...  it's not always crappy processed food but i hasn't been good.
I am working on that, too.
Last night we had baked chicken over tossed salad.  That was good and the kids liked it, too.
That's the kicker - the kids like eating healthy.  Well, Abby does.  Wyatt would prefer a steady diet of candy and meat.
So, I am trying to increase my awareness of "garbage in, garbage out" and make myself eat more veggies.  I eat fruit.  I don't eat a ton of cake or cookies.  It's the snacking and the unhealthy meal choices.
"We're so busy" is such a bullshit excuse.  All it takes is a little extra effort early in the week, with a dose of organization and I should be able to pull this together.

Our house is like a warehouse of small appliances.
We have a Juicer, a Quesadilla maker, an Air Popper, blender, food processor, waffle iron, stand mixer...  you get the idea...  I am running out of space.
But I have the tools required to keep it interesting.
So, wish me luck!

I'm Coming Out

Remember that commercial?
I'm comin' out, I want the world to know...
I cringed every time those bellies sang.


If my belly could talk, it would look like this:

I have had "someone-might-see-my-belly"-itis for years now and I am tired of it.
When I nursed Abby & Wyatt, I covered up.  Not because I didn't want someone to see my boob, not because I was ashamed or private...  because I knew that lurking right under the glorious act of feeding my child was my nasty fat roll.   And catching a glimpse of a fat roll under a t-shirt is one thing but blatantly seeing a woman's fat, white gut is just gross.  I don't even like looking at it myself, never mind sitting in a cuddly position with my lovey little baby knowing that my blubber is hanging out for all the world to see.
I don't like seeing another woman's fat rolls, either.  I do, however, enjoy a nice, tight stomach on a woman.  Not in a sexual way, more in a "cute shoes, where'd ya get 'em" way.  I want that belly.  I want the belly that has no problem changing it's shirt in front of people.  I want the belly that doesn't mind if it's t-shirt flies up in the middle of Yoga or while jumping rope in Cardio.
I'd like a belly that I am not able to pick up in my hands.  Seriously.  We're beyond pinching an inch here, people.

So, yes, I am still watching what I eat and working out at the gym.  I will forever watch my caloric and fat grams intakes and weigh myself on Fridays more religiously than I attend church.
But I am working more and more Abs into my routines.  Working my abs has become my current obsession and I swear, I can already see and feel results.  Exercise is amazing, isn't it?

I had 2 C-sections.  Prior to my children being born I was not exactly flaunting a waistline gem or piercing anything other than my ears.
But after having 2 c-sections where all of your abdominal muscles are literally sliced in half to be able to reach the uterus and remove the baby, it makes regaining strength and having a gut to be proud of that much harder.
I am not planning to buy a bikini in my thirties after not even being able to wear one in my teens but I wouldn't mind having a Tankini option where I would not have to worry about the top floating up and my belly hanging down.
So, I'm working on it.

Once in my life I remember having a belly that I was ok with.  Granted, that was a particularly dark period of low self esteem where drinking to excess & puking replaced eating & digesting.  That combined with an average sized growth spurt for a 15-year old girl made me about as long and lean as I have ever been.
And while I often remember those days of cheap beers and camp fires fondly, it was not the healthiest way to drop the excess baggage.

So, maybe this summer, I'm coming out.  Or at least, maybe, a little bit of shy peeking around the corner...

I haven't blogged in a while and I have a lot on my mind.

First of all - I find "The Fresh Beat Band" beyond irritating.  I used to think Max & Rub were anoying.  Well, they could move in, frankly, if it meant I never had to hear or see the corny, campy freakishness of the former-Jumparounds.

I have not weighed myself in 2 weeks because 2 weeks ago I weighed myself and found myself "broken through".  At my heaviest, around Thanksgiving from my estimation, 2009 - I weighed upwards of 230.  I don't know specifically because I was too depressed to weigh myself, nevermind attempt to lose it.  But since then I have begun to exercise regularly (work out, even!), eat well, all but eliminate meat from my diet and visit with my doctor on a regular basis to keep an eye on my cholesterol, heart and blood - a lot can happen to your body when you're not paying attention.  And while it is very easy to find lots of reasons (read - excuses) for those things, the bottom line is this:  if you don't take care of your body (and mind, but that's not this topic) it will fall apart.  You have to be aware of what you consume, how often you consume it and how you burn the fuel you have chosen to consume.  It's so simple it's stupid.  There is no magic bullet.  Being healthy is hard work but oh, so worth it.  I have never felt better - body or mind.
Anyway, 2 weeks ago I weighed in at 199.
This is a major breakthrough for me.  One I was not sure if I was going to share publicly - but the support and feedback I received thought Twitter and Facebook made me realize that I am SO not alone.  There are so many women my age (and men) out there that had their fatbacks creep up on them in their 30s.  I want to help.  I want to inspire.  I want to share so that no one feels like they are the fattest, grossest, ugliest person out there.  You're not.  Nor was I.  But I feel better that it is behind me.
And I still have about 20 pounds to lose before Christmas to reach my 50 lbs for the year, but I feel so close to that.  Like, I have the formula, I just have to maintain the discipline.
I will get on the scale this coming Friday and set a goal for August 1st.  My goals have to be smaller, I can't drop 10 pounds a month - I am building muscle and frankly, the first 20 pounds are always the easiest.

Today is Independence Day, July 4th, The 4th of July.  I love today.  It truly kicks off summer.  We have at least 1, possibly 2 Beach days planned this week and 1 each week for the next few weeks.  Plus playdates, pool time, swimming lessons and perhaps an over-nighter at my parents' house.
Today we head to my In-Law's and I'm really looking forward to it.  It's been a while since the whole family has been together and with a few of us heading north and south after this weekend, it will be really nice to just float in the pool, have a few drinks and lots of laughs together.

When I was a kid I remember waking up beyond excited for 4th of July Fireworks.  I heard on the news this morning that more than 15% of all fireworks-related accidents are from Sparklers.  And yet, when I was as small as my own kids are now, I can remember walking around the beach pretending to smoke those things.
Those were the good old days...  We'd swim all day, eat from the big grills that the Dads were working up near the horse-shoe pits.  And the Dads would be at the beach, not just the moms!
Then, around 5 we'd head home, put on dry clothes and get right back on our bikes and go back to the beach for more grilled dinner, bug spray, games of tag and while our parents drank Vodka & Tonics, we'd suck down store-brand soda and wait for it to be dark enough for the fireworks to start.
All the kids would have to stay on the grass, no one but the fathers were allowed in the sand.
Mr. Henry, Mr. McKee, Mr. Chiaro, Frankie, Mr, Clarke, Mr. Rice, my Dad - whoever - would dig deep holes, set up buckets of water and light off fireworks that are definitely illegal now and may have been back then, too.
Lightshows you would pay admission for these days.  The smell was fantastic and you could barely see your hand in front of your face for all the smoke in the air.
Good Times.
Great, Awesome, Priceless childhood memories.

God Bless the USA.

I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch, but Wyatt has been going on the potty like a pro.
We decided that Memorial Weekend was his weekend.  He could be naked at home for 3 straight days and if you've ever potty trained a kid, you know that naked time is essential.  He loves going on the potty.  He loves to wear his big boy undies and he loves to be like his big sister.  So, the planets aligned this weekend and away we went!
Today is Thursday and he is diaper-free and happy to announce his needs.  We'll see how he does as the day wears on and he eventually has to go poop.  But, I'm pretty optimistic.  He's already pooped on the potty a few times without me forcing the issue.  It's just a matter of staying on top of him an reminding him.

I am not going to make my weight goal by my birthday as I had planned back in April.  I was hoping to lose about 10 more pounds than I actually did.  And I won't be losing 10 pounds in less than 2 weeks.  So, I have to take solace in that, even though my lbs are not melting off as quickly as I wish they would, my body is definitely getting slimmer.  I need to shop, I can't wear most of my clothes and I have started giving them away.  I'm all about drawstrings and babydoll dresses right now.  Sort of ironic.  The clothes I wore to mask early pregnancy are the same type I need right now.
I may make my new goals more fitness oriented and less lb oriented.  Although I won't be forgetting all about the scale (wish I could but it's not that simple) I am going to simplify my weight goals and amp up my fitness goals.
I am in the process of making a workout that suits my time frame and my needs.  Based on what I like to do and what I need to do per my personal trainer.  My sessions with him are over but I need to take what I learned with me so it wasn't a waste of money.
When that's done, I will post that here and update it as I improve.
With Fridays as my new weigh-in day, I will set my new goals next week, giving me time to set up my routine etc.

We gave up eating meat recently.  I don't cook it at home although I do still order it when we eat out and I still make hot dogs and chicken nuggets occasionally for lunch for the kids.
We eat a lot of fish, a lot of pasta and a lot of vegetables.  We use the Morningstar and Boca meat alternatives and have found the ones that are really good (veggie burgers, crumbles for sauce and tacos) and the ones that are absolutely disgusting (breakfast sausage, hot dogs).
I am having my iron tested tomorrow, though, because I am absolutely exhausted and had a sudden realization that I may not be getting enough iron without the red meat portion of my diet.  I'm sure I don't eat enough leafy greens and beans to make up for it.  But I am not sure enough to start popping iron supplements, so we'll wait and see.
But seriously, as I type this at 2 in the afternoon, I could fall asleep on the couch.  And that is how I feel every day.  And at 2:00, my day is only about half over.  I still have the "after school" portion, dinner, bedtime and "me" time.  I have laundry to fold and dinner to cook but absolutely no energy.  I am hungry but too lazy to go get something.  What a conundrum.

We are going house hunting  on Saturday.  I cannot wait.  We are finally going to see the inside of the house we have been dying to have.  We are about 2 seconds from buying this house sight unseen so it's probably a good idea to go check it out.  I can only hope that someone else is thinking the same thing about our house right now.

I have decided on my next weight loss goal.  18 pounds by my 34th birthday.  That is almost 12 weeks from now so not a very lofty goal but it's not easy to drop it as quickly anymore. 
So, I have to change a few things that I'm doing...  and I haven't really decided what those things will be yet.
Maybe packing, living a hectic lifestyle of house-hunting and house-showing, warmer weather, stress and a little good old-fashioned starvation will help.
Or, maybe I can get my fat ass to the gym more than twice a week.
Funny how less than 4 times a week, preferably 5 or 6, and I feel like a fat, lazy slob.  When, previously, the very idea of going to the gym made me want to crawl under the covers midday for a nap.

It's hard to lose weight during a holiday.
Last week, leading up to Easter weekend, I went to the gym every day.  I ate very well and exercised and drank my water.  I knew I was going to eat and drink like a rock star through the city so I wanted to do what I could ahead of time.
When we got home I continued to eat like a rock star...  or, perhaps like the fat girl I truly am.  I kept saying "gotta get to the gym tomorrow" but one day led to the next and I went a whole week of not getting to the gym.

I was legitimately busy.  We had carpet installed over 3/4 of our house.  That required a lot of packing and prepping.  Seriously - you try to get everything off the floor of all of your bedrooms and your living room.  Also, keep your kids and two dogs out of your way and the installers way.  Also, get to the gym and take care of your personal dietary needs.
It's only 2 days worth of an excuse but I managed to stretch it out for the week.
I actually blogged a whole long bit about it on my cell phone but then I couldn't figure out how to transfer the "Notepad" to my Book and I wasn't about to re-type the whole thing so you'll have to settle for this abridged version.

The bottom line is this - I have got to back to business.  I have lost more than 20 pounds.  I have dropped 2 pants sizes.  My boobs are bigger than my gut...  for the first time in 4 years.  If I allow this slippery slope to slide me any further, I will gain that - and then some - right back and this will all be for naught.  And I can only imagine what that might do to my mental health!  LAWD!  I am crazy enough!

I rescue worms.  I thought the kids in Abby's preschool would think it was awesome...  a great game!
They didn't.
I just can't stand to see them all on the blacktop and sidewalks and walkways...  washed up, about to dry out - as soon as the sum comes out and they can't worm their little ways down through the rock they've propped themselves up on, they're dead.
And man, I appreciate those little wormies.  They do good work in my soil.  And yours.
So, when I see one that is especially needy - be it an extra squirmy one or a super fat one (easier to pick up) I grab him and throw him into the grass or nearby garden.
If that's crazy, I don't wanna be sane.


You know that song, "Home Sweet Home"?  Originally done by Motley Crue recently covered by Carrie Underwood?  Well, the kids LOVE it.  Wyatt has a serious thing for Miss Underwood, but that's a different story.
So, we hear it in the car.
That song takes me back to my years of hanging out with my brother and his buddies.  Before he left for the Air Force.
It takes me back to wine coolers, Parliaments and thinking I was hot shit.  Those were the days...

So, now, I hear Carrie Underwood who I don't care for but do like most of her songs, in spite of myself.  And I sing it as loud as I can in the car (with my girl singing right along with me - that kid is a musical genius!  they both are, really...  Wyatt has been able to carry a tune since he was merely months old and Abby has that performance gene that seems to run in my family...  ok, it's just me.)
Anyway - I sing it with Abby even though Wyatt completely objects.  He would prefer his Carrie to sing directly to him, no back up required.
And I heard lyrics in it today that I have certainly heard a few thousand times before but really struck me tonight:

My Hearts Like An Open Book
For The Whole World To Read
Sometimes Nothing
Keeps Me Together
At The Seams

That song is totally about me, man...

Abby loves to sing.  She stands on the fireplace hearth and performs for us daily.  If she can't get all of us in the living room, she'll settle for a half-attention audience in the kitchen, the bedroom or wherever she can find a small majority.

The other days she told Jay that she had to show him her new dance.  Like the fabulous audience he has been trained to be, he stopped in his tracks and gave her his full attention.  She was about to begin when suddenly, she stopped.  She paused, looked puzzled and announced that she "needs a more fancy dress for this show".   We carried on with our days until further notice.

She doesn't bore us with "I am a Little Teapot" or "Twinkle, Twinkle", either.  She knows multiple Dixie Chicks songs, she loves Lady Gaga and knows more words to "My Life Would Suck Without You" than I do.  She's awesome.

And the little man - he sings and dances right along side her.  He knows a lot of words to a lot of songs and as soon as we get in the car he demands "friends from High School"  or "Single Ladies"!!  Sure, sometimes he prefers his Wiggles or even a little Imagination Movers and I am about to go to I-Tunes to download the Yo Gabba soundtrack but I do love how they are so tiny and so cute singing Top 40.  Sure, some of the lyrics are questionable.  But, they are too little to ask those questions just yet.  And when they are old enough to ask, I'll be ready.

Today was the last Wednesday to weigh in.  I was truly, truly hoping to  be down 2 pounds this week.  That would put me at 10 pounds for the month, even though it wasn't a steady 2 pounds per week.

But, it wasn't 2.  I don't track the decimals, but I'm pretty sure that I actually gained a half a pound.  The big number stayed the same, though.  No loss.

So, I know people always say "the last 10 is the hardest" and while this is my last "big 10" it is not, by far, my last 10.

I have to think about the calendar and the weight and the time of year before I set my new goal but I am pretty sure my new deadline will be my 34th birthday.   That is about 10 weeks from now.

I'm not saying you have to go to Jay's site.  You can if you want to but you don't have to.  But, he has been posting some seriously delicious, diet-friendly meals.

Packing, packing, packing.  Getting new carpet installed next week.  The carpet will go down in the Living Room and the entire upstairs.

This is a job that really had to be done, staying or going, so I am unbelievably excited.

I will take some before and afters after I finish the packing that has to be done to help with that job.  Emptying bookcases now, rather than later, packing books, pictures and chochkies.  Getting rid of that hulking mass of an armoire that has haunted us since the day we moved in.  Maybe someone wants it and can come get it.  Maybe Jay and I will take turns hacking at it with various axes, knives and sharp instruments.  I really do love packing.

Wednesday of this week is the last day of March.
March is always such a long month.  Nothing to do, nothing to see, crappy weather.  But I really loved it this year.  It seems to have flown by, our social calendar was pretty busy and with our "sell the house" initiative shaping up, I've not been bored at all!
So, it's almost over now and then comes April with it's buds and green and sunny afternoons, cool evenings.
This will be my last Wed AM weigh-in for March.  I did ok this month.  I did not lose 2 pounds each week but I lost at least 1, sometimes 3 and I'm ok with that.
I plan to hit the gym every day this week since I will have a very food-filled weekend coming up.  Plus, I haven't seen my family since Christmas so I want to feel super-strong when I see them on Easter and hear them ooh & ah over my hotness.

Easter Weekend will be spent in NYC.  Marriott Marquis on Saturday, Auntie Frannie's on Sunday.  If the weather is nice we'll stroll through Central Park, maybe hit the zoo.  I am not a fan of "the zoo" in general but I've never been to the one in Central Park and it is a very "kid-friendly" thing to do.  If it is cold, rainy or if we just would prefer it, we'll go to The Museum of Natural History.  I think we're leaning that way anyway, what with Wyatt's devotion to all things dinosaur-related these days.
Honestly, if you have never been to this museum, you need to get in your car immediately.  It is, by far, the greatest non-art museum in the world.  Kids of all ages, seriously, get out of your house right now.  The whale alone is worth the trip.

My parents will be at my aunt's for Easter.  Nice since we haven't seen them since their trip south just after Christmas.  I don't miss them much during the winter because I talk to them all the time and I'm pretty used to them being gone.  But in the last week or so of their retreat I miss them terribly, probably because I know it's only a few days till we see them again.
But, as always, I will see them for 20 minutes, see that nothing's changed and be ready for another 3 months to go by before we meet again.
I kid.  I kid.
Sort of.

Today is the 4th Wednesday of March and I lost 1 more pound this week.
Yes, my goal was 2 pounds per week but knowing that I am eating like a pig (ate restaurant goodness 3 times in the past week and I am NOT sorry) and exercising I am happy to have lost 1 pound.
Today I am vowing to track my food on Weight Watchers religiously.  Some days I know I do not eat enough and that will only hurt me in the long run.  It's not because I'm not hungry or I am trying to starve myself, it's that I don't have time.
Also, I think my tastes are changing - and combined with my desire to not overeat - sometimes I don't eat dinner.  Where, in the past, I would have eaten it even if I didn't like it if I was hungry.
That totally grosses me out now.
So, this week (starting today) I will track my food more carefully, continue exercising and see if I can end this month strong.
For the record, though, today is a very proud day for me.
I have mentioned how I lost a bunch of weight doing Weight Watchers before, without exercising.  It was 2005.  Same deal as this year, my "New Year's Resolution", but it was halted by my pregnancy.  I lost 30 pounds then gained it - and more - back over the course of the past 5 years.  I can blame pregnancy, nursing, staying home (lifestyle change) but regardless of the reasons I was not taking care of myself.
Looking over the past years of weigh-ins with Weight Watchers (I should really just bite the bullet and become a lifetime member) I see now that in January 2006 I was at my fattest ever (not including during pregnancy, of course) and now, March 2010 I weigh less than I did post-weight loss/pre-pregnancies. 
It's only one pound less, but knowing that is a huge bolster to my confidence.
After all, I was in my twenties then.  Now I'm in my thirties - and exercising and still dieting to lose weight.
I will hit my goal - and I will be one hot mama.

I feel fat and bloated today so I am not weighing myself.
I know that goes against my March Vow but I will weigh in tomorrow and call it even.
My first Wednesday was a -3, my 2nd was a -2.  This one might be flat or -1 so I'd rather feel better before I see the result.  And tomorrow will be better.  Today is Wednesday, the official lazy day, and I haven't showered, I had PB&J with Cheez Doodles for break/lunch and I'm packing and doing laundry and random household chores.
Tomorrow, I will shower, get dressed and have a prettier day.  And even if I gained weight, I'll feel ok about it.

Spring is so close.  Today I plan to rake out the small garden right out front.  There is stuff popping up and ornamental grass that needs to be cut back and prepped for new growth.
I also think it's time ot put the Cozy Coupe outside.  With his October birthday, Wyatt had the luxury of riding this thing around the house all winter but I think it's time.

Now, as far as the packing topic - I have been filling boxes as I find them.  The beginning stages of packing are so easy.  You don't need every book on your bookshelf or every picture on the wall, so you wrap 'em and pack 'em.  Me, I can't move fast enough.  I love putting things away.  But I'm not buying boxes so I can only move as quickly as my friends drop boxes off.
As far as moving goes, where should we go?  What are the pros and cons of staying in our town?  What would be the pros and cons of starting over?
I haven't been shy about expressing my love for this town to anyone and everyone, specifically my husband who holds no particular attachment here.
My second choice (and about the only other town we agree on) is in MA.  We agree that the town that our good friends are currently occupying is the only one that compares with ours with convenience, quality of living, distance to our families and general awesomeness.

This town is considerably farther from my family but all highway so while it will be al ong drive, it will be an easy one to make.
It's a little farther from my CT-family, too but not too far, it shouldn't be an issue.  (I secretly discussed it with my mother-in-law!)

Decisions, decisions...  only time (and the CT & MA MLS) will tell!!

Today is Monday so I have another weigh-in in 2 days.  Last week, though, was my first March weigh-in and you may recall I promised to lose 2 pounds per week for all 5 Wednesdays of March.
I lost 3 lbs in week # 1.
Go Me.

I have really been enjoying cooking and being creative with Weight Watchers ideals (fat, calories & fiber!), without using meat, and eating as much as I can with as few points as possible!
I love the challenge, the hobby that it becomes.  When it becomes a lifestyle, it becomes routine, part of the every day - and even though (for now) it's retaining it's novelty, it is also fitting into our structure perfectly.  We eat at least 2 meals a day, at least 5 days a week at home.  Lunch is usually not a big deal and sandwiches/salads/frozen meals fill that meal very easily.
Before getting pregnant with Abby I lost 30 pounds on WW.  And that was without exercise.  It's because of the changes I made in my habits.  So, this time, with the habits and the gym - I am feeling really good.
And Jay does a lot of the cooking.  He makes the salads (tossed, veggies and otherwise), he experiments with fish and veggie products, he has been researching and blogging and without him, I would not be anywhere near as into this as I have been.
I do the shopping, the soup making, the dessert creating (I can't go without but I can make them fat and sugar free!).
We encourage each other, root for each other and have just the right amount of competitiveness to keep each other going.  (Ok, we're really, really competitive - sometimes we scare people, but it works for us!)


This weather is awesome.  I know we'll get another snowstorm.  I know it will get really cold again but for now - we're blowing bubbles and riding bikes.  And I have a very strong desire to start raking, pruning and decorating outside and in the gardens.

I crave summer, suntans, mosquitoes, late sunsets on the deck with a cold beer, hearing the trickling of the pond and chirping of the crickets.
I want to smell citronella and sun screen.  I want to come home from the salty beach and jump in my chlorine-y pool.
But first, I want to feel the chill and smell the air before one last snowstorm.  Then, I want to hear the hush of a snowfall one more time.  I want to see big flakes falling silently.  I want to see my breath as I shovel the snow from my driveay one more time.
I know how crazy that sounds because I really do hate it as much as the next guy when it's coming down for the umpteenth time in mid-January.  But here it is March.  We're already having warm days and cold nights.  We set the clocks ahead on Saturday.
I won't mind one more storm, because I'll know it's only one more.
Last year we were at the beach in April.  I can handle a few more weeks of winter.  Then I will love spring, summer, fall and winter once again.  I love New England!

I do not like this time of year.
It's boring.
It's ugly.
The weather is generally cold, nasty, wet, and unaccomodating.
I find myself withdrawing.  Hibernating.  Feeling quite irritated and anti-social.
I have lots of friends & family that I love to be with and talk to but I don't feel like it.
I feel discontented.  I make myself disconnected which leaves me feeling alone and sad.
I focus on small things.
I overthink.
I start big projects and map out even bigger ones.  Whatever it takes to distract myself from myself.

There's nothing going on.  There's nothing to do.  Nothing to plan, nothing to attend, nothing to pack for or set up for or save for.  It's b.l.a.h.  Nothin'.

Many people suffer from "Seasonal Depression".  It's not rare.  Maybe I do, too.  Maybe I should discuss it with my doctor.  When I do feel icky enough to consider "doing something about it" I feel too icky to bother.
Then, the next day, or a few days later, I generally feel "back to normal".

It passes.  It's normal, natural, the ebb-and-flow of being a thoughtful, feeling human being.
Then, something will set me off.  Someone will say something to me that I can't quite wrap my head around.  "What did that mean?"  "How did she intend me to hear that?"  "Does he know how that sounded to me?"  And I begin my obsession... 
Or something is done.  To me, to my family, to my friend, to the guy that bags my groceries or takes my $1.25 at the toll.  And I begin that obsession...
And then, I weigh in and see that I've only lost 1 pound even though I know I ate well and exercised my ass off.  Or, worse, I gained weight.  And I spiral into a self-loathing sulk that lasts a day or two.

In the Spring, I get joy from clearing out the gardens, sprucing up the outside of the house, preparing for our lives outdoors.  In the Summer I spend lots of time in the sun, at the beach, in the pool, with friends, in the gardens - all the fun, summery things that we all dream about in these yucky end-of-winter weeks.  In the Fall,  I truly enjoy the end of summer, the crisping of the air, the pumpkins, mums and apples and the holidays right around the corner.  In the Winter, I enjoy Christmas and the beautiful snowy days of January and even into February.
But now, this ugly-muddy-trampled-mostly-melted snow that covers my yard is just a reminder that winter is just about over, spring is weeks, if not months, away and summer is even farther.
The fun of the cold and snow is pretty much expired but the fun of the sun & grass is years away.

It's a yucky time of year.
And I am a generally happy, optimistic woman.  So, I figure if I feel this way about it, plenty of you probably do, too.  I hope you feel a little better now.
I do.

Maybe my scale is broken.
Maybe my math skills are off.
Maybe I am gaining muscle while losing fat.
Because - my pants are falling off and my numbers are not.

Maybe this makes me glass-half-empty, which is usually not my style but I was (AM) really looking forward to my weight dropping.  I want the LBS to MELT off... 
I am eating right and exercising.
Yes, I cheat here and there.
No, I don't work out every single day.
But, for what I've been doing, knowing what I used to do, I feel like I should have lost 20 pounds by now.
And I've lost 8.
Seriously.
8.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.  But I am going to have to change some things.

More cardio.  More fat-burning, pant-till-you-puke aerobic exercise.
No cheating.  No "just one more bite" or "I'll just have one".  No more.
And I am signing up for WW again.
As much as I have gone on and on about resenting it, I have to change something and that will help me.
And right now, there is no sign-up fee which takes the sting out a bit.

So, I have to set a new goal for March because the idea that I might lose 10 pounds in the next 5 days (my Feb goal) is ludicrous.
I don't know what my March goal will be yet but tomorrow will be my new "Day One".  Weight Watchers and taking the exercising up a notch.
Get Ready!

Yeah - I feel like I've hit my groove with this "work out" thing.  I walk for 5, run for 10, walk for 5, run for 10, walk for 5.  Then I go through the "circuit" - you probably know what that is.  It is a series, or a "circuit", of weight lifting machines, each designed to work a different muscle or area of the body.  Some are easier than others.  My quads & calves, for example, are fairly strong.  I challenge you to find a mother without strong legs.  My upper body is relatively weak.  This surprised me because of all the baby-lifting I have been doing for the past 4 years.  But, there are many, many muscles and apparently, we don't need most of them until we do the circuit.
I want to get up to more running, less walking, because I love it but I don't have the stamina yet.
When I think about how I used to feel winded running up the stairs, I know I am moving in the right direction!
I love the Group aerobic classes, too (Dance Aerobics & Zumba) and I try to do Yoga at least once, sometimes 2 or 3 times a week.  I don't mean to insult the die-hard Yogies out there, but I try not to consider Yoga as part of my "exercise".  For example, there is Yoga on Wednesday nights but I still work out in the morning.  Yoga feels so good and it is very mental.  If it was all I did, though, I wouldn't be burning fat.  Yes, I'd be gaining strength and posture and peace but the cardio and strength training are most important right now.
I love this.  And I love the way my body is hardening - I feel muscles that I forgot were there.  And I am increasing the weights I am lifting.
I am not dropping lbs the way I hoped to but I guess that will come in time - at least I am getting healthier.
If I'm being honest, I gained 2 pounds this week.  This really depressed me and forced me to my first hard core run on the treadmill.
Have you heard the song "Wake Me Up Inside"?  I forget who sings it but when it comes blaring into my ears I start running and I don't think I will ever hear that song the same way again.
I can't explain the 2 pounds.  I did eat more than usual on Sunday for the Superbowl but I hardly think I should have gained 2 pounds by Tuesday's Weigh-In for having had some chili dip on Sunday.
Hopefully it was a fluke and this week brings some better results.

The Bu is in the shop right now.  It probably needs tires, it definitely needs an oil change and sometimes the Bu doesn't like to start so they'll have to look at that, too.  Something funny - my oil change sticker said "X Miles or October 2009".  Funny, right?  And I just hit X miles last month, January.  I don't go very far.

Last night's Yoga class worked my lower back and abs in a way that was both painful and amazing.
As I sit here, I am straight up tall, still feeling the burn and absolutely, without a doubt, craving more yoga.  I must have looked at the class schedule for the club a half dozen times this morning.  Nope.  Still no Yoga in my day.  I need to buy the Wii Fit Plus.  It's only $20 and it would fill this craving for me.  Plus, both kids love Yoga so I wouldn't need them out of the way to do it, they can do it with me.  And I happen to have $15 in Toys R Us dollars...  so we'll see how this works it's little self out.

Speaking of cravings.  I have been craving a trip to the mall with the kids.  Back in the old days, I could put the kids in the car any time I wanted and go wherever I wanted.  In these busy, activity-filled days I have to schedule a leisurely trip to the mall weeks ahead of time.  And right now, I am looking at a day over February break.  I'll have Q&K and K hates the mall but I can barter a day with one of his friends' moms and get there without him.
The "Germ Tank", the Carousel, Barnes & Noble...  maybe a little Yankee Candle while I'm there! 
I unabashedly love the mall.
In fact, the other day Abby was snuggling me and she said "yummmmm, you smell like the mall, mommy."  That was a high compliment, as I am raising a mallrat in case you hadn't noticed.  I believe what she was smelling was my deliciously sexy new perfume, "Heavenly" from Victoria's Secret but I thanked her with no further explanation.  

So, I mentioned my January-end Weigh-in.  I did lose weight in January.
I officially started this diet on Monday, January 4th.  Today, Tuesday February 2nd I am down 8 pounds.
That is a very healthy loss of approximately 2 pounds per week.  And I should be proud of that. 
I have changed my habits, replaced some I didn't want to change altogether with healthier choices.  I have been exercising, taking my vitamins, drinking my water.  All in all, I am very pleased with how I feel.

I am disappointed that I missed my 10 pound goal by only 2 pounds. 
I can blame it on Abby's birthday parties at which I ate "not good" food.
I can blame the fact that Wyatt was sick and I couldn't have left him in the daycare center at the club.
But mostly it is just a gradual change in my lifestyle and if I had lost 20 pounds in my first month, that probably would not have been healthy.  I probably would have been setting myself up for failure.  And now, as I sit at 8 pounds lighter, I feel energized and revved up for more.  Like, this 8 was a warm up and now the fun begins!
So, my realistic goal for February is 10 pounds.  I would like to lose 10 more pounds this month for a total of 18.

I promise to go to Zumba, which I absolutely love, at least once a week.  I promise to work Group Groove into my routine for at least once a week.  And I promise to continue to do Yoga at least twice a week.  In between I will walk & run on the treadmill and go through the Circuit.
I enjoy all of these activities and it feels really good.  I also enjoy routine (sometimes to a fault) and working these into my patterns makes it all the more of an accomplishment for me.
I never thought I would have time to exercise.  It was always my biggest excuse.
And now I can't imagine not exercising.  Almost as much as I can't imagine ever smoking again.

I talk about moving a lot.  I want a bigger house; a better house.  Then, when I consider what I want (a new, spacious, 4 bedroom Colonial with a wrap-around porch and an in-ground pool) I realize that we are not in a position to buy that (or build that) in the town we live in.
So, I decided that I could live anywhere.  As long as I have the house I want, I don't care where we live.  Other towns are a lot less expensive to buy in and even more have much lower taxes.
So, I would leave this town and the life we have built for ourselves and our children here.  All for the big house.
Wrong.
When did my mind set change like that?
I love our town.  I want to raise my kids here.  I care about the town government and school system.  I'm proud of them, I'm involved in them.
I know the moms that are involved.  They know me.  We know eachother's kids.
That matters.
I want Wyatt to go to Abby's school.  I want Abby to go to kindergarten with her friends.
I want a bigger house; a better house.
But I won't get it this year.  I will enjoy and appreciate my perfect, beautiful, warm and love filled home, right where it is.

We've covered this topic before.
I'm fat.

There are people who need to lose, like 10 pounds and there are people who are roly-poly obese.
I fall somewhere in the middle.

My friends will say "Oh you're not fat!  You're so tall/curvy/big-boobed/proportioned/solid/gorgeous!"
(ok, I added the last one)
But, friends, while I appreciate your love and kindness, the facts IS the facts.

But, this is my decade.
I am turning it around.

High Fiber, Lots of Protein, fresh fruits and veggies, Lean meats and Fish.  And when push comes to shove - Smartones Desserts.

And.....  *drumroll*  .......
Exercise.

So, this morning I woke up, got dressed, got the kids dressed, packed my gym bag, dropped one kid off at school and brought the other one down to the health club with me.  He was a very big, brave boy going into childcare all by himself.  The cars, trucks, trains, tracks, roads and ramps help.
I walked and then actually got the speed up to jog a bit on the treadmill.  I want to jog outside when spring comes.  I want to want to and that means I have to get myself in shape and "road ready" over the next few months.
The treadmill was just my warm up, though.  My purpose was Step Class.

I will skip ahead and make this long story slightly less long:  I will never...  EVER...  boast or even discuss the fact that I have a Wii Fit.  I will never tell anyone at the Club that I use the Wii Fit.  I will never - even in my own head (after this post) - consider the Wii Fit to be an actual form of exercise.  {Even the Yoga poses don't match up and that is pretty universal.  Nothing compares to actually "practicing yoga" in fluid, "finding the ease in the effort", group form.}
But the Step Class?  Compared to the Wii Step?  Well, they don't compare.

This class was 60 minutes.  I was sweating buckets, overheated and red and on the verge of collapse after 20 minutes.  I finally had the courage to stop and go get a drink of water, regroup and get back in there after about 25 minutes.  And I straight up stopped trying to follow the instructor and began my own sort of "cool down" after about 35 minutes.
If you've ever seen an aerobics instructor - a tiny, strong, tight, perky-but-a-little-mean woman - multiply her by 7000 and that was the Jillian-Michaels-bot leading this class.

I liked her.  I loved the class.  And, after a few weeks I am sure I will be keeping up and loving it for the entire 60 minutes.
But today - I cried.  I almost puked but I definitely cried.  {In the shower, not in the class!}
I had intended to leave after 45 minutes so that I could shower, grab Wyatt and get back to pick Abby up from school on time but I had no idea how badly I would want and need to leave at 40 minutes!

It was an eye-opening experience.  I am very out of shape and overweight.  But I am committed and enthusiastic.
And, fortunately, I possess the self-confidence to forge through the part of this that makes me look like an asshole to get to the other side.
And, fortunately, the Club we joined seems full of people ready to encourage and support me (and each other) on this journey.
A few women gave me great words of support, joked about their first classes and cheered me on to come back next week.  It made me feel better.  And what's cooler than women empwering women?  I love to feel that sisterhood.  And it was loud and clear today.

So, tomorrow I will try Zumba.
And next week I will try Step Class again.

And maybe, just maybe, I will not worry about how jiggly I am as I chase Wyatt across the beach this summer.

I am obsessed.
It only took a week.
The first day or two is very hard.  NOT eating that candy.  NOT eating those chips.  Eating an APPLE or GRAPEFRUIT instead.  NOT eating after the kids are in bed and my ass is on the couch.  Very, very difficult.
And exercising...  that part is very hard for me.  Because my days are very long and busy and involve little to no sitting down.  I am so tired by the end of the day, working out is completely out of the question.  Wake up super early to go for a run or do some aerobics? 
No.  I am lucky to get up and get the kids out for 8:15 each morning.  No way I can get out before them, actually accomplish something, get back and get the 3 of us out the door for school and whatever errands/activities the day has in store.

But.
I'm doing it.

I am grocery shopping for high fiber, low fat, preservative-free foods.  I am avoiding sweets and eating until I am no longer hungry but not stuffed.  I am getting creative and learning new recipes.  I am using Weight Watchers ideals and ideas with my own twists.
I won't sign up and track and record and be controlled by Weight Watchers.  I resent that, I can't help it.  But the points that the program makes are sensible.


My life is completely revolving around this new routine and that's a good thing.  It's a "lifestyle change", not a "diet".
We joined a health club.  "We" being the 4 of us, we have a family plan that includes all the equipment, the courts, the pool, the classes, the childcare and classes for the kids, as well.
We went this morning and while the kids had a grand old time in the "Youth Activity Center", Jay and I were able to exercise without having to leave one or the other at home or use the kids or the time of day as an excuse.

I had the Stop & Shop trip from hell yesterday.  I was so completely frazzled and on my last nerve by the time I got home that I swore that I would never, ever shop with both kids again.  Not a big shop, anyway - maybe just to Ted's but not a whole week's worth at the S&S.  No way.  I will take one or the other or use Peapod.  Never.  Again.
And when Jay asked me what went so badly, I couldn't really figure it out.
The kids weren't bad.  They were not naughty or rude.  They were really just having a good time.  They're 2 and almost-4. 

They stayed with or at least near me.  They were chasing each other a bit, laughing loudly and while their voices rose a bit too loud a time or two and Wyatt needed to be called back a time or two and I swore the whole store knew both of their names by the time I got through all the aisles, I really couldn't redirect them any more than I did, I couldn't ask them to behave like 24 year olds.  They are 2 and 4 and they were acting like they were 2 and 4.

Normally, I relish that.

On this day, my head was busy with other things, my mood was not the best and the kids were distracting me and I was feeling embarrassed and annoyed.
Why?
Well, I wasn't sure at first.  I figured (and this is probably true) that it was just that kind of day.  I was in a crappy, impatient mood.  It happens.
But then the second part of it comes into play - and this is what this long story is leading up to - there was not a single person in that very crowded grocery store that paused to smile, to give me that eye, that nod of encouragement that moms give moms in public places.
The store was full of grouchy, angry old people.  No one said "excuse me", no one said "I remember those days", not even a simple smile or wink. 
I shop at that grocery store every week.  I know most of the people that work there - at least by face - and I am a friendly, chatty person by nature.  I can drag a smile out of the grumpiest deli counter person and I always make a point of thanking the person that bags my groceries.

I remember laughing at something that Abby said and looking over to the person right next to us in the cracker aisle, looking to share the smile, and she was just scowling. 
Why?  Because my kids were noisy?  Because I laugh at my daughter's precociousness and encourage her independent thought and intelligent wit?  Because while I, of course, wish my son would not crawl like Ana the Anaconda on the floor of Stop & Shop, I understand his 2-year old need to do so and eventually give up trying to keep him clean and prefer to keep him happy and safe rather than stifled and insecure?

I shouldn't say "no one".  One lady laughed at Wyatt for slithering across the back of the store.  She said "he's a boy!  I raised 2!"  That was nice.  It was just too late, I think.

If you're a mom then you know the wink I am referring to.  You know the nod.  It's the telepathic encouragement we give each other when our kids melt down in public places.  It's what helps us as mothers - as women - stay strong and confident.  It's how we support each other's awesomeness as we do the most important, most challenging, most gratifying job on God's great Earth.
It's what we need to remind ourselves and each other of.
 
It's not a competition.  It's not a sprint.  And when you're done, you're never done.
It's a sisterhood, this motherhood gig.
It's a marathon.
And it's a lifelong commitment.  To our children, to each other and to ourselves.

I went to Yoga tonight.
I didn't want to.  Not because I wasn't excited about Yoga but because it starts at 7:30 so I have to go through my entire day - from 7am till 7pm - then get psyched up to change my clothes, freshen up and head out in the dark cold to expend energy I am certain I do not have any more of for an hour.
I was really excited to go, just really tired.
And I was really, really glad I did.
It felt wonderful.
I am more flexible than I expected and Yoga is a lot harder than I expected.
I'm sure I will never want to see video footage of myself doing yoga, but man!  It felt GOOD!


Wyatt has been going "peeps" on the potty.
He does it randomly and tries more often than he succeeds but he really, really loves it.
So - we encourage it, cheer him on and he loves every minute of it.
I bought him some little guys' underwear.  Elmo (& friends) and Thomas (& friends).  He wears them with pride and his little hiney looks so very cute in them!!


Went to my doctor today for my Annual Physical.  I was previously unimpressed with our Family Doctor but today she actually showed some personality.  She smiled and talked about her kids a little.  We talked diet and nutrition, blood pressure's a little high, exercise is key, will follow-up in 6 weeks.
The good news?  My plan (and what I thought was a realistic, albeit difficult goal) was to lose at least 50 pounds in the next 12 months.
According to my doc, with my age, body shape, muscle mass and the fact that I have given birth to 2 children - 35 pounds would be my ideal loss.
THIRTY FIVE sounds a lot EASIER than FIFTY!



So far, 2010 is a fantastic year!

So, we've been here before.  It's the beginning of a new year.  It's a clean slate.  It's the annual "make myself a better person" time!
And yes, I am vowing - once again - to make myself a healthier, THIN person this year.
I signed up for Yoga.
I made a doctor's appointment.
I threw out all the leftover candy.
I perimeter shopped at the grocery store today.
And right now, as I sit here and type, I would really - REALLY - like to be snacking.  But I'm not.
I had a grapefruit and some water.
For dinner we had baked chicken breast, fresh asparagus and rice.


It's little changes, really.  I know that is so cliche but it's true.
I always park far away from the store/school that we are walking into.  Mostly from habit of having to unload 2 kids and a stroller and wanting the space to do that without someone waiting or honking at me.
I have promised that we will no longer eat those boxed or bagged noodles and rice side dishes.  I am more than capable of preparing a healthy side dish or an extra veggie.
I made soup today and - with the help of my new cookbook (thanks, mama!) - will continue to make a soup each week for a healthy lunch or snack.
I also purchased a "diet aid" designed specifically for women.  It's herbal and FDA-approved and all that jazz and while I don't think that coffee ad Dexatrim are the way to go (ah, my early twenties!) this time, I do think that a little boost here in the beginning will help me - both physically and mentally.


Last year I vowed to lose 50 pounds by the end of the year. 
I didn't.
This year I have my physical with the family doc and will ask for a realistic goal and timeline from her.
(Then I will double the loss goal, cut the timeline in half and unrealistically starve myself for a few weeks, give up and gain even more weight.)

I am starting to understand why people drink Decaf.  I have always mocked it but, like most things we mock in our youth, I have come to understand now that a cup of coffee is a nice, comforting, yummy way to wind down.  And caffeine after 4pm doesn't always bode well for a good night's sleep on a weeknight.  I may just have to buy a box of decaf K-cups...  flavored would be perfect.

This morning I showered before school.  Granted, I was able to do it leisurely thanks to a 90-minute delay but still - it started my day off right.
I got the 3 of us up and out, Abby off to school; Wyatt and I to Ted's; back home to make a pot of soup; pick Abby up; head to ManchVegas for some returns; home in time to get Q & K off the bus and home for dinner & bedtime.  Jay made dinner, I cleaned up and put the kids to bed.  And now, here I am.
It felt good.  I felt like I had my shit together.  I might just have to follow through on my big idea to actually set my alarm and get up in the morning before the kids, shower and get dressed and not feel gross and ugly all day, most days.

Wyatt's got a cold.  So does Jay.  I was sick for a few days around Christmas but feel 99% better and Abby didn't get sick (yet).  Let's hope this isn't one of those stick-around-the-house-swapping-from-family-member-to-family-member-type-germs and that it's a simple cold with coughs and snots and aches and then it's gone.

I started sewing yesterday.  I actually only stitched a not-quite-straight line across a baby blanket to make sure I threaded the machine properly.  It felt awesome. 
My first project is to make pillows for the kids with their baby blankets.  I know how to sew with a needle and thread but I want to make at least 2 pillows for each kid and that's a lot of very straight lines so using the machine should be simple and quicker.
After that success is under my belt I am going to make a simple curtain lined with a black-out shade for Wyatt's room.  He only has one window and while I know there is probably more to this idea than I am expecting, it seems simple enough to try out early in my game.
It's worth noting that I am teaching myself how to sew with a brand mew machine that Santa brought me.  So, we'll see how this goes...

Next project for 2010 - Crochet.