Just wanted to share some pics from our Christmas at 131:


Look at that concentration! These truffles don't sprinkle themselves!!


And what's a trip to NYC without a Times Square Elmo pic?


My poor baby boy could not have LESS pleased to see Santa this year. So mean. So funny.


Before.


After.


Wyatt was all about his sour-apple tootsie pop. All morning. We now know how many licks it takes, folks.


"Holy Shit!"

I have mentioned Facebook before.
Facebook feels good.
Facebook allows you to get in touch with and stay in touch with people whom you would otherwise fall out of touch with completely. You might not want to fall out of touch. You might like these people very much. But you don't see each other anymore. You used to go to school together/live near each other/work together... whatever the case may be. But now you don't.

I have lots of those people in my life.

I am a very passionate person. (Go figure, right?)
I feel what I feel very deeply - when I'm feeling it.
But sometimes, just sometimes... I'm wrong. Or, I'm just so caught up in the feeling I forget why I am actually feeling it.

We all do that.
I try to correct myself when I see it happening.
My dad does that - he gets so worked up about stuff he works himself into a corner of yelling and freaking out and when it comes down to it, the original issue is never as big a deal as it blew into.
I don't always see it, though. And sometimes I just get into the habit of feeling a certain way.

Where am I going with this?

Facebook.
Emotional furies...

Oh, right.

People I used to work with.

It's a lot like people I went to high school with. It was a lifetime ago. We were 16, 12, 8... whatever. Now we're "grownups".

I see people from "MM" (protecting the innocent, ha ha) and I think "wow, how nice to see them". Did I think that when I worked with them? Maybe not. Maybe.
But, whatever.
That was so long ago.

I had a boss I hated. I won't say his name, he knows who he is cuz he hated me, too.
But you know what? We got a long really well before he was my boss. And I hear how he's doing now and then from our mutual friends and I think "good for him". Because he always worked really, really hard.

I had friends that I absolutely loved. LOVED. In Sales, we had a great team of women - there were like, 3 of us - it was all men - but I loved those women. We weren't catty or back-stabby. We supported each other. It was great. So, C, D, L & S... Happy New Year. I know "L" reads this, so pass the word if you see any of us... :)

Oh, and the Call Center... man, that was like high school all over again. The friends, the parties, the drama, the FUN... that was a FUN time. Fun, fun, fun. What would I do with the opportunity to do that again? Granted - you make NO MONEY. But you don't NEED any money! We had no responsibility, no mortgage, no bills, no worries!!

Ok - new topic.
Christmas Songs I hate and am removing from my ITunes library forever:
Santa Baby
Baby It's Cold Outside
Anything by Bing Crosby. I can't explain it. Something in his voice annoys me to no end.

I am doing it all differently next year.
Do we say that every year? Probably. But I really mean it.

First of all - more Jesus, less Santa.
I do a good job of keeping Abby aware of God, Jesus, being thankful. I really do. But she's not even 3 yet. There's only so much I can do.
One thing I can do, that I don't do enough of, is bring her to church. Every Sunday, sure, but at least Christmas and Easter, right? We go to Playgroup at our church and we read stories about God, including her Children's Bible and a Bible Story book she got from church. But I will do more for her in the coming year. She's old enough to sit through church, even if she needs a snack and a coloring book, we're going more often.

More giving, less getting.
We went completely overboard on Christmas morning. Jay bought me everything I ever wanted. I bought him more than I should have and still less than he bought. And the kids opened presents for an hour - nonstop. It's too much.
Next year we will limit Santa's gifts. Each kid got 9. NINE.
4 or 5 would have been enough. And maybe 2 or 3 could be from us or each other - a little less Santa would be ok.
The family also overdoes it on the kids, but they love it - we love - the kids love it... and that is nice. I don't want to quit shopping for my nieces and nephews any more than they want to quit shopping for my kids.
Both Grammas did a good job of "not going overboard" because they both shop for the kids all year long, why go overboard on Christmas when everyone else is, too? Makes sense.

More celebrating, less stressing.
It's the kind of stress you don't feel until it's gone. I noticed today that I was ridiculously tired. So tired that I could hardly move my body.
It didn't hurt my holiday at all. I loved Christmas as much as I always do. But maybe I could have had more fun, been less worried, if I had focused on the "why" more than the "how".
And maybe, just maybe, the "family drama" on either side affected me more than I wanted it to.

Next year, no drama.
I will focus my heart on myself, my husband and my children - celebrating the birth of our saviour and this wonderful time of year where the whole world is in love with itself and eachother.

Less presents. More presence.
We are spending less and shopping less; giving more and doing more. We can sponsor a family here in town, everything from dinner to gifts. We can afford that, and we might even afford a bit more if we cut back on the nonsense. We can buy Toys for Tots. We can do more than we do. And if each of us tried that, each year, to just be nicer, kinder and more grateful. We'd all feel better.

I have nights when I become obsessed with Facebook.
It amazes me how the connections happen. I look at my list of "friends" and there is everyone from some of my friends here in town, to Shore Drive, to MassMutual to Brewster High to my sister's in-laws... it's crazy.
Crazier still is when one meets the other - it's like worlds colliding.
A friend of mine from Jay's ING days grew up with a friend of mine from town. Of course they are, she grew up here and lives in Longmeadow now. Which also happens to be the hometown of one Baby Matthew. See the craziness?!?! Everyone is connected somehow. It's a small world, after all.

Allow me a minute to freak out about something. And pardon me (and my expletives) as I lash out on one of my greatest pet peeves.
Snowy Cars.
Sorry, Belle. Here goes-
Why don't people see how extremely dangerous this is? Why do they care so little about the other cars on the road, the other people in those cars, the kids, the grandparents?! It's worse than driving drunk, really. At least if you're drunk you can say "oops. I was drunk."
When you consciously get into your snowy car, you are consciously saying "Fuck it. I don't care if the snow, ice and slush flies off my car, backwards into the windshield of that family car, off to gramma's house, sending them into a tailspin eventually resulting in their death from a 12 car pileup while I drive along, happily, blissfully unaware of what my ignorance and laziness has created. Mayhem and madness, if not death.
And even if I am not that seriously aggravated by it (although I am) - I am more than a little annoyed. And if you know me, you know that my annoyance levels are high. I get really fucking annoyed by annoying shit. My hands fly about uncontrollably and my voice gets very screechy.
I can handle some amazing character flaws. I can accept just about any way any one wants to live their life.
But not if it annoys me.
And the worst is not the SUV or the Porno-Van. It's the lazy fuckers with the little cars. "Ooooh, it's too cold to push the snow off my Cabriolet. I'll just drive really fast on the snow and ice-packed highways until it's all gone."
Assholes.
Ok.
Done.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.
My husband's family will be converging on the quiet peace that exists at 131. We will drink and eat too much. We will laugh and make fun of each other and say things very un-Christian-like. But you will be able to see the warmth and love and Christmas Spirit all the way up to the road. (ha ha, driveway joke)
I would be lying if I didn't admit a smidge of apprehension or nervousness... I always do before a large party and this one is slightly clouded by some family drama that surrounded Thanksgiving Weekend.
But I know that once everyone is in, the fire is glowing, the tree is surrounded by everyone's lack of ability to "go lightly this year", our mouths are full and our heads are light with love and the "spirits" of Christmas - all will be forgotten, all will be appreciated and all will be heartwarmingly wonderful.
This is a wonderful family I married into. And I will take the outloud disagreements, aggravations or grievances over the quiet, grudge-holding kinds any day of the week - and twice on Christmas Eve.

Merry Christmas to All.
And if you don't celebrate Christmas - tough shit. Merry, anyway.

"Can I open them?"
"Yes, but you have ot wait your turn. Why don't you give one of your gifts to your cousins?"
"Leen!! LEEN!!! THIS IS FOR YOU!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

"This one of for Abby, from Grammie and Grambear."
*Eyes light up, takes present, hugging it* "Oh, Thank You, Grammie!" Then, she proceeds to open it.

Don't get me wrong, there were a few "can I have more presents, mommy?" but I would have to say that overall, I was quite proud of my very polite and sweet little girl!

Every little thing she opened was like the greatest thing she had ever seen.
Examples - she opened a package from Tono that was Belle pajamas. Wide, overjoyed eyes paired with a huge, toothy grin found my face, threw them towards me and yelled, "look, mommy! BELLE!!!"
A simply wrapped gift, a hardcover book from Uncle Bobby, received the same exact response, "Mama! A Snowman Book! We don't have a snowman book!"
After her baby brother opened up some shirts that we all thought were adorable but understandably agree that kids would/should find boring, Abby opened up a few articles of clothing and screeched "Look! I got clothes, too!!!" Like she had never had any before in her life!

About 457 gifts fly threw the air pretty quickly when 454 of them are for kids under the age of 8. We all had our favorites, of course, but I have to say that there were no stinkers. Not one. At least not that I see under our tree. Maybe someone else got a stinker but judging by the air at 256 yesterday, I would have to guess not.
There was a lot of love in that house.

My mood was dampened a bit by my own arrogance. After reviewing the menu with my mother, I took it upon myself to decide that she was ill-prepared and I went ahead and ordered a tray of Chicken Parm to be served along side her Ziti, Sausage and Peppers, Marsala and Tossed salad. I hurt my mom's feelings, pissed my brother-in-law off and I am not sure that my husband is completely thrilled with $60 worth of Chicken Parm taking up space in our freezer right now.
Eh.
It's good to be humbled every now and then.

The whole family couldn't be there. As we get older, our relationships and commitments spread and we can't all be at every function.
As much as I wish we could be.
As much as I have a hard time swallowing why some of us couldn't be.
It is simply not up to me. Priorities are personal.

Back to the good stuff... Right now we are watching Annie (from Auntie Frannie & Tio) while Wyatt chews on a card from Abby's new Memory Game and Abby plays with her new "Dad and Toddler" people for her "Happy Family" Dollhouse.
The living room looks like a bomb went off but I have 2, no make that 4, very happy kids in my house.

We bought our first house in November of 2002. We closed on Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving. It was in Southington, about 2 miles away from the apartment we lived in. We loved the town so we thought we would buy there and live there forever.
The day we closed it snowed. A lot. And the lawyer representing the seller actually tried to postpone the closing. Can you imagine?
Anyway - it was a cold, snowy day and we were moving into our first home!
We loaded up the Chevy truck and the Honda Civic and moved as much of our stuff as we could. Until of course, I found Squirrel and disappeared to the vet for several hours while Jay and Rachel did the heavy lifting.
Or maybe Rach was with me at the vet.
Doesn't matter.
And the Squirrel story can wait, too... I am losing track of my point here...
My point is this - as a housewarming gift, a woman I worked with gave me a Tart Burner and a few Yankee Candle tarts.
Since then we have collected several Tarts & Tart Burners.
Today, I have made the declaration that I am officially DONE with Tarts.
I am sick of the scent wearing out and finally being gone, but wanting to be sure so I light it one more time!
I am sick of having to WAIT for my scent to kick in because the tart has to melt before it gives off scent.
I am sick of running out of tealights and having to make a special trip to Walmart or AC Moore because they are too ridiculously expensive everywhere else.
We're back to candles.
Candles are pretty. Candles have cute accessories. You can have lots of them and put their tops on, put them away and pull them out another day.
DONE with TARTS.

Tomorrow we are heading to NY for Christmas. It is our celebration with my family. I am beside myself with excitement. It is Christmas, it's all I get with my family so I look forward to it very much.
This year my brother, his fiancee and our niece will not be joining us. And my other sister (her hubby and 2 kids) won't be there, obviously. But otherwise, we'll all be there and I cannot wait!
Abby is so excited to see her "Cousin friends" and give them the Christmas presents we bought them. She also can't wait to play in the snow at Grammie's house. And while Wyatt doesn't know what's about to happen, I cannot wait to see how he is with all the gifts and excitement! He was only 2 months old last year so this is sort of his "first" and I think he's really gonna dig it.

We are hosting Christmas Eve and I just have to get through tomorrow to really focus on what's left to do for that. Not much. Let's face it, my organization skills are unparalled and I am more than prepared for this holiday season. *smirking arrogantly*
In all honesty I really am ready. I have to grocery shop (Stop & Shop and BJ's) and I will have to give the house a once-over for dust and decor but otherwise, I just have to cook and open the door! We're decorated and wrapped. What else is there?
I love the holidays!

Today I saw something that I was so excited about previously and now feel my heart clenching around fear of... (did that make any sense at all?)
What I saw was a glmipse into the future. A glimpse at what my baby girl will be doing in September, 2009.
Going to school.
Yes, preschool.
Yes, 2 hours a day, twice a week.
But still - everything will change.

Let me back up...
Every first and third Thursday Abby, Wyatt and I go to "Kids of the Kingdom". It is a playgroup that Becky (the Pastor's wife) and I dreamed up and that she does 99% of the work to put together. Abby loves it and it is the only thing we are committed to, ie- we would be missed if (and when) we skip it.
We read stories, sing songs, do a craft and have a snack. It is structured but very fun and Abby absolutely loves it. As soon as we get there she kicks off her shoes and runs right to Becky and asks her what craft we will be doing that day. She really loves the crafty part.
Because my girl is so smart and so social, I know that this is exactly what she will be like when she starts school. And she is so excited to go to school, too, so that makes me excited for her.

Today, at Kids of the Kingdom, the Church's Preschool class joined us. (There is a school and daycare attached to the church.)
The class was all 3 year olds, some close to or just turned 4, but for the most part these kids were Abby's age. Because Abby is a January birthday, she'll be 3 & 1/2 when she starts and she'll go for 2 years.
I don't know if she will go to our church's school. I always assumed she would but as it looms closer the fact that it costs considerably more is more of a factor.
Anyway...

So, the kids all sat together at a big, long table to do a craft - they made beautiful wreaths with paper plates, glue and green Easter grass. Abby was really into it, and I was holding Wyatt so I didn't pay a ton of attention to what I was seeing or what Abby was doing.
But then, after craft, it was snack time.
Abby is so independent... she didn't ask me, wait for me, see what I would do... she just went and sat down at the table and waited for her snack.
She walked over, she climbed up into a chair, she received juice, said thank you, received alphabet cookies, said thank you and proceeded to eat, drink and jump into the 3-year old conversation about who had what letter and how many cookies they each had.
She actually picked up her cookies and said "look, I have 2 T's."
She not only knew, at barely 3 years old, that they were the letter T, she knew she had TWO of them.
Did I not say she was brilliant?!

Anyway...
She was so into it, I was so touched, and terrified, but mostly touched... She is such a big girl now. She uses the potty. She makes up imaginary friends. She says to her baby brother, "Want me to help you with that, Boogs?" She tells me what she wants to wear. She knows the words to a lot, and I mean a LOT, of songs. She sleeps in her big bed. She pouts and gives me attitude when things are not going her way. She says "why" like most people say "uh-huh" or "ok" - constantly. She knows all of her cousins and aunts and uncles and friends' names...
She is getting so big! I remember wearing her in the sling, humming to her while she slept on me, folding laundry and thinking how heavy she was... I had no idea!! And she's still not done growing.

When she starts school, she will really blossom. She will want to do more and more by herself. Her personality - good and bad - will become even stronger. She will have her own ideas, agendas, opinions - more and more and more... it's the beginning of it all. She'll learn peer pressure. She'll repeat jokes and phrases that her friends use. She'll be exposed to things I am trying to protect her from now... she'll be exposed to mean kids, dirty kids, commerical and superficial bullshit.
She'll have to learn that there are not-nice people in the world. She'll learn that some kids have more stuff than her and some don't have as much. She'll hear different languages and see different cultures.
It is all so exciting and fascinating. Her little brain will sop it all up like a dry sponge does water. And then, 2 years later, she'll be packing her little bag up and waiting for the bus...
Good WORD! Don't even get me thinking about that yet!

Sheesh... this was a rambler. Sorry. Here's some pics:

I believe some of my best conversations in life come from the back seat, the car seat in the back seat, to be specific.
Picture this:
A: "Where is Africa?"
M: "Southeast of here. Why?"
A: "Can we go there?"
M:"Well, no - we would have to fly in a plane and we don't have that in our plans anytime soon. I suppose we could take a boat there some time. Why?"
A: "I miss Cacky."
M: "Me, too."
A: "Is Cacky happy with his mom and dad in Africa?"
M: "Yes. I think so."
Ya see, over the past several months Abby acquired a fear of lions in our woods, heard me explain that there are no lions in Hebron, just in Africa and then we lost Cacky so she assumed he went to Africa, to be with the other lions. But considering it was months ago since we last talked about any of this, the conversation was surprising and entertaining.

Here's another example:
As we are loading into the car to head off on one of our many adventures, Abby is sitting in the backseat, next to her car seat but not in it. I lean in to help her and this is what happened:
M: Abs, get in your seat, we have to go.
A: I can't. Someone's sitting there.
I begin to lift her and mumble something about having to get into her seat, not really hearing her until, screaming
A: No, Mama! I can't!! Someone's sitting there.
I put her down in her carseat.
A: I'M SIIIIIIIIIITTTTTING ON HEEEEERRRRRRR!

LMAO.
Meet "Julie". She pretty much lives here now. And she has quite a bit to say about things.

Audrey, in case you read this - 2 things:
a) I still think of you every time I wash Abby's hair.
b) and now, I also think of you every time I put Wyatt's sleeper on.
Yes, I always put his arms in first. And yes, I still use too much shampoo.

I feed the birds.
(I feed everyone, actually.)
Anyway - one of my favorite things about winter is that in the stark, cold, color-less outdoors, some of the brightest, cheeriest, most beautiful birds come out. Our backyard, from the deck, is just tall, leaf-less tree after tree after tree.

The view of our back woods from the deck.

I put 2 Suet Cake holders on plants hangers and BAM! Instant color and excitement. I love them.
Woodpeckers, the fluffy ones and the red-gheaded ones, Cardinals, Bluejays, Titmouses, others that I can't recall or name. They're awesome.

The Cake Holders.

So, today, I went out to refill the suet cakes (I spend about $10 a month on this shit - doesn't sound like much but, come on, it's bird food!) and I heard a bird tweet. I looked up and he was right on the gutter behind me.
Then, I heard another tweet.
Then another.
Then more.
At first it was a little frightening, I have seen The Birds about 230 times, so I was wondering what was about to happen.
I filled the baskets and was stepping back into the house when I realized that, with my body still on the deck, a little Tufted Titmouse was already nibbling. Then, I was standing in the doorway but with the door still open and a few more little peckers stopped by.

Note the distance from Feeders to Door.

And, sure enough, as soon as I shut the door, the Big Boy landed. This is a giant, red-headed Woodpecker that lives in the dead tree behind the curvy tree in our back yard. He's huge. He's so cool.

I watched for a few minutes, because that is why I have the feeders there... to watch the birds.

Then I came in and told Jay that the birds love me, were talking about me, and trust me enough to stop by for a snack with me in their presence.

The view from my couch.

Just another reason to love Winter.

Oh, and one more reason -

If you don't have at least 3 Hallmark Snowmen singing at you at the same time, constantly, all day, you just don't know "fun".

I started this too late to go into too much "chatter" so here's some pics.
(We're going "Santa Shopping in the morning, so hopefully I will be DONE and get my WRAP on!)

I just read on the back of the DD coffee bag that you are not supposed to freeze or refrigerate your coffee grounds.
I have been refrigerating my coffee grounds for my entire adult life, and my mother keeps hers in the freezer.
And you will be hard up to find a more coffee-driven family in your lifetime.
Crazy, huh?
But I will not argue with Dunkin, they know their coffee.
Now I just have to figure out how to keep myself from going to get the coffee from the fridge. Perhaps I will store it with the filters and mugs. What an interesting thought.

I am the worst Dog-Mommy ever.
I left Pete out today.
All day.
I left, with the kids at 10:30 and got home around 9:30 and Pete was there, in the driveway with a big dog-happy grin on his face.
Is this because he, in his pea-brain, thinks I was only gone a few minutes?
Or, is he smarter than those non-dog-loving-book-writers say and he was just friggin happy to be able to go in, eat and sleep in the warm bed that is inteneded for my husband and I?
I'll leave that up for debate. I believe my dogs think, feel and love. Try to prove otherwise. Dare ya.


That reminds me.
I once had a debate with my Pastor about whether or not dogs (any pets or animals, really) go to heaven.
He said "no, they don't have souls or conscious thought to accept Jesus." So I said, "so, where do they go?" and he said "no where, they have no soul that carries on, they just decompose."
I was horrified.
We agreed to disagree, he didn't think it was anything that going to put me out in the eyes of the Lord, ya know?

I want to post about our Christmas Tree - and our trees past... but I don't have the energy tonight. There is a tiny, warm body waiting in my bed for "snuggles to sleep" and that is too good to pass up.

I tell my husband everything. Everything. Stuff he wishes he didn't know, I tell him.
Second to that, I tell my sisters everything. The only things I don't tell them is stuff between me and my husband. And, much to my husband's dismay, I sometimes mess that up, too.

So, it confuses me when people are surprised that something they told my sister, I am aware of, or vice versa. We talk almost every day. Sometimes I don't talk to Christine but Deborah just did and she'll tell me what they talked about. And I do the same, in the same situation. Between the 3 of us, we talk every day, just about.

And we talk to my mom a lot. Not as much as we used to, because she's gotten crazier over the years and we've gotten more from each other than we do from her, emotionally, mentally, happily. That's how it should be, right?
But that's not my point. My point is that the 3 sisters and our mom talk all the time.

My brother doesn't phone in much. Because he's a boy? Maybe.
Whatever the reason, when one of us does speak to him, we fill him in.

As I am describing it I am picturing one of those old phone operators and the phone lines lighting up as one calls the other, hangs up and calls the other and the other 2 are already talking and on and on and on... and the operator winds up all tangled in her cords and the phone lines are on fire.

Are we the only family that talks that much? I know my cousins don't talk that much to their parents and I know my uncle has always half admired, half dismissed it. Like, his kids didn't call that much so he thought we were clingy, but he secretly wished he was that close to his kids. And that's just one example, I am sure other people think it's weird, too.

So - back to point #1. I tell my husband everything... and I love that and it's mutual. But, what about people who are divorced? Who do they talk to? And what about the exes who they already told everything to? Were they never 100% invested in the marriage so they never revealed themselves 100% so they aren't concerned about where their secrets will wind up? Or were they completely invested and now they lie awake at night, wondering what happened to the love of their life, the keeper of their secrets? And wonder who the ex-keeper is sharing said secrets with now? Does that school-yard insecurity ever fully go away? Are people out there, putting 10, 20 even 40 years of secret-filled marriages behind them and worrying about where their secrets will go?

I have learned a lot about family dynamics in this past week. I won't air my dirty laundry here but I will share this much -
Family is the most important thing in the world. Because they are the only ones that will always, truly and completely love you.

Some family members don't show that well. They, I can assure you, are more hurt by it than you are. They do love you, they want you to know it, they want you to be happy and live your life to it's fullest potential. But they can't show you that. And that is like a cancer in their hearts. It hurts and they will likely take it to their graves. An early one, maybe because all that pain doesn't make for a long, fulfilling life.

Other family members show it, fully and completely. And you might take those members for granted. You can get so mired in the day to day of life that you forget to call them, you figure they're fine and don't miss it. Or you miss a birthday or a Thank You note, and over time you erode that relationship to where it's still full of love but there' not much more to it. You lose touch with each other as people.

In order for a family to function there needs to be a balance of these 2 types.

You need to be able to feel love and hurt. You need to be able show love and anger. And both need to accepted, returned and forgiven. It's like the cogs and pulleys and levers of life. If one gets stuck, it can really gum up the works.

I once had a friend call me an M&M. "You have a hard shell but you are soft & sweet on the inside."
Cute, huh? She and I went through a lot together right off the bat. We met, fell in love, dealt with a crazy friend, stuck together through it and came out the other side in an actual friendship. And I do truly enjoy her and love her to death.

You should join Freecycle. I unloaded gobs of crap from my basement storage room this week. Good crap. But crap we didn't want and wouldn't throw away. Love Freecycle. And love having space for more crap. New crap that I will love as much as I loved the old crap at first.

Today I was eating marinated mushrooms, roasted garlic and mozzarella balls. Leftovers from the party. Then, I went into the living room to talk to Abby. She walked right up to my face, took a deep breath and said "Whattayoo stink like? I want some."
How freakin' cute is she? My girl loves good food. No chicken nuggets in this house. Unless I hand bread and fry them, that is.
And she ate the mozz... not a fan of mushrooms ("they slimy, mama") and I didn't offer her whole garlic. But she loved the mozz.
One night, I was in a rush and made a frozen pizza. That kid looked at me and said "I do not like Pizza. I want steak, mom." I said "Abs, most kids love pizza. Could eat pizza every day. Mommy doesn't have any steak to cook nor do we have time to cook it." She thought about this and responded with "There's steak at the store, mommy. I'll go with you."
Nice, huh? She was willing to keep my company while I went out to buy her a steak.
She did eat the pizza that night. She is pretty easy as far as understanding reason and doing as she's told (most of the time). And we did go to the store the next day and I probably did make her steak. Why not? I don't want a chicken nugget/buttery pasta eater. I like that she likes good food. So do we.

For Thanksgiving I am making "Sweet Potato Mallow", Brocolli, Pumpkin Pie, Apple Pie and Cheesecake. I wanted to dress up the Pumpkin Pie a little but my mom is a crazy old woman who doesn't like her menu F'd with.

Each year both sides of our families try to think of a way to "gift" each other without spending a lot of money and capturing the Christmas Spirit.
We have done the Picture Swap (wrap a framed picture of yourself, swap it and walk away with framed pic of a loved one); Handmade Gifts (most of us hated this one); Chinese Grab Bag (we all wound up with wine - go figure) and last year we did this REALLY GREAT thing where we drew names and had to present that person with a little "ode" to them, why we love them etc... and include something for them to walk away with. I got my father-in-law and talked about what an excellent role model he was for my husband and a loving Papa to my kids etc etc and framed a small collage of pics with my little speech. I loved that. And I loved the one my husband's aunt did for me. She wrote me a poem and framed it with little scrap-booky charms and glitter and stuff. Very cute.
Don't ask why we're not doing that again, I really want to! But everyone else wants to think of something new. What's wrong with doing stuff we like, why are we always trying to TOP everything else?!
Anyway - I am on the hunt for something that my husband's side will be satisfied with and that my side will actually do... (that won't happen, I'll just buy gifts.)

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
xoxoxo

I love picking out my kids' Christmas jammies. How cute is it when they go to sleep in their special jammies and wake up for Christmas morning, all squooshy-faced and happy - and wearing matching jammies?! I can't wait to find just the right ones.
And this year, if I can find them, I will get Jay and I matching jammie-pants. And by matching, I meant to match the kids... I already buy US matching jammie pants each year. :)

I am putting away all the Fall Decor... I put it up in late September, then I add a few Halloween-y things, then I take those down and leave up the Fall stuff till Thanksgiving. Usually.
But, we had that big party on Saturday night (it went splendidly) and on Sunday I was very tired and cozy, so I started plucking things from around the house and before you knew it, all the Fall stuff was on my dinding room table.
So - I am going ot put it away now.
Yeah. That's why I'm blogging. Procrastinator that I am.

I did a good "Post-Holiday-Shop" last year - got lots of wrapping paper, bags, bows and ribbons. I forgot I did that so finding it today was a major score. I still need to buy cards, tape and "Santa Paper" but I feel good.

Jay is gone for just one night this week. That's good. I miss him when he goes, but he's home a lot when he's not traveling... Let me explain that better.
In the old job, Jay would kiss Liz goodbye each morning, go to work, earn a good living and come home for dinner.
Every day, I knew he was leaving and when he was coming back. I liked that.
I always had dinner ready and we always maintained a very good routine.
Now - he travels a few days a week. So, I am adjusting to not having him home for dinner and not realxing with him each evening. That was a fairly easy adjustment (can I get an amen?) but the harder part is the "not traveling" part. Because he is home, but he is working. So, he's in my way but I can't ask him to move. That's the long and short of it.
Don't misunderstand - I love having his body in our house all day - even for several days in a row. But it is not my "routine" and I am still adjusting to that.
I know, I know - he's working hard, it's not easy being at a new job, he's stressed, he's doing his best and come on - I don't have to "work", right? Believe me, I don't take any of this for granted... we are just getting used to this new thing.

Thursday is "Genksgivin". (That's how Abby says it, in case you couldn't figure that one out.) I cannot wait. I am making a few dishes this year, in addition to pies. And we will be driving the new car to my parents' house which means I can stare out the window and not curse at the traffic. I love Thanksgiving. Then, Friday we can go get our Christmas tree!!!

Listen to this menu:
Chicken Nuggets (Handmade, no Weaver bullshit.)
Mozzarella Sticks
Stuffed Mushrooms (Garlic-Haters be warned, these babies are chock-full.)
Salmon & Spinach stuffed Pastry Bites (Handmade, as well, as is the honey mustard to dip in.)
Warm Brie wrapped in crescent rolls with raspberry jam.
Blue cheese and Apples wrapped in Bacon.
Supressata, Provolone and garlic-stuffed Olives.
Wings (Yeah, this is where Weaver wins.)
and of course, Pigs-in-a-Blanket.

Sounds pretty good, eh? I throw a good fucking party.

Today I had so much on my mind to Blog about, and now I am procrastinating and can't remember what I was going to say...

Being a mom can be very hard.
Today I took my kids to the pediatrician. Wyatt, because I decided he needed an allergy test. He has very bad eczema, pukes a lot and has tracheomalacia which has never bothered me (or him) on it's own, but coupled with the other 2 things and that he doesn't seem to be outgrowing any of it, I decided it was time.
So - that means that the little guy had to have blood drawn. A big needle inserted into his arm and left their, moved around a bit to jostle the blood out, and then pulled back out. Then, done again, in the other arm, because that first arm stopped giving blood and better to keep him crying than to have to bring him back and make him cry again.
So - hopefully this test, as high level as it is, will point us towards something that is bothering my little guy so we can cut it out of his life and make him happier. :)
Abby - she has not been letting me clean her right ear. No biggie, I just chalked it up to the fact that it's annoying but I asked the doc to check it out, just in case.
Sure enough - there's something lodged in there. So - when I was cleaning it I was pushing whatever that thing is deeper into her ear and causing her pain.
"That thing" could be a Barbie shoe, for all I know. Or (and I suspect this is it) it's a huge glob of wax that I pushed too deep when I was cleaning her ears.
See, my kids have wicked gross ears. Wyatt has never had an ear ache or infection, Abby has only ever had one. But the wax that I pull out of these kids' ears is leg-en-dary.
Anyway - she is going to an ENT tomorrow and I am looking forward to having a conversation about the kids' ears.
Anyway, before we decided she had to go to the ENT, Dr. R tried to remove the "foreign object" in the office. Abby cried. Hard. It broke my heart. And I could only hold her hand because I was also holding Wyatt. It was awful.
Fortunately, Abby recovers quickly with mention of lollipops, so she's over it now.
Man.
That was a tough morning.
Seeing your kids hurt is, by far, the most painful thing you will ever feel. And, from what I hear, that never goes away.

Let's lighten the topic, a bit, albeit not much - because I want to discuss something that can be a very touchy subject to some.
Christmas/Holiday cards.

Each year, I truly look forward to choosing the cards that we will send. Our list is long and as much as I try to whittle it down each year, I just can't. Some people on the list are people that we only talk to through Christmas cards. But that doesn't make them any less meaningful to me, I care about them, our lives are just busy.
So, each year I choose the cards we will send. Since we had kids we started including a picture of the kid(s), too. I tossed around the idea of doing a "Christmas Letter", too, but decided I didn't have much to say - most of the people who care about what I would write already know it all. So, I write out the cards, pop a picture in, lick it and write out the address. We print our own return-address labels, too, because the ones you get for free never spell our name right and why pay for them!?
Anyhoo - each year, Jay and I settle in together at the dining room table and go through the ritual. We add people, we take away people and we leave a few blank cards for the people that we will feel badly for forgetting once we receive their card.
And we receive a lot of cards, too. I honestly don't know if we send a lot because we receive a lot or if we receive a lot because we send a lot. We've been doing cards together since before we were married so it's too many seasons of giving and receiving to keep track.
When I receive a card, I love to see the pictures that people send. I save them all. I have every single picture of every single kid and I like to look at how they've grown over the years. (Sorry, I don't save the pics of the cats - lol).
So - here's the touchy part - do you write out your own card? Do you print address labels? Do you buy the pre-printed picture cards? Do you buy the pre-printed cards and stuff them into pre-printed envelopes? Where do you draw the line? When do you say "I don't enjoy this, I just do it cuz I have to and I will do it with as little effort as possible because this list of people are not worth my time anyway."
Don't get me wrong, I love the pictures.
I just wonder if the people even know they sent us one sometimes. Or did the computer just spit me out and they just stuffed the envelope, with no thought or consideration as to who is receiving what...
I enjoy the tradition of writing out our cards together because we laugh and chat and reflect on our list, on our previous holidays and on what we write or draw or think about with each card... and I just wonder if that is odd. Am I the only one? I don't view it as a chore, I love it. It's another fun part of the whole season...
So - when I get those pre-printed envelopes with pre-printed cards, I still hang them up and I still save the picture. But I don't always send a card back... because I don't think that person will notice one way or the other.

I had my first Eggnog Latte of the season today. And, fittingly, I had it at the Mall, with my husband and children. I believe the first Christmas Coffee of the season should be enjoyed whilst Shopping. And I know very few people who enjoy The Mall as much as I do. Buckland is, by far, the Worst mall in the world. I didn't even buy anything. But it's still a mall. Love the smell, the early Christmas decorations and the Sbarro pizza.

Did you start thinking about Christmas Cards yet?

Thanksgiving.
A time to Give Thanks.
I wrote this letter to the pastor of our church this morning and thought it was worth sharing with my friends, too:

I wanted to thank you for your message in the November newsletter. I love reading the monthly letter, it keeps me caught up even with my absence from regular sunday services. And feeling like a part of the church is important to me.

This month, specifically, I loved your message because Thanksgiving is, by far, my favorite holiday.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to be with friends and family at the most beautiful time of year. I love the long drive to NY, talking with my husband, listening to Christmas music, hearing my kids chirping (talking non-stop, really) in the back seat.
I look at the trees this time of year and thank God for the beauty he has shown us as they change from green to orange, yellow or red and then brown. And then I thank Him for giving them the strength to stand through the winter, barren, but with hope for a green, beautiful spring.
My mother hosts Thanksgiving and everyone is in such good spirits, happy to be together with nothing to do but eat, drink and enjoy each other. I love that day with my family.

I look at my children, daily, and I thank Him for their health, for their happiness, for the beautiful, warm home that they live in, for the dedicated husband that works so hard at the job that God has provided for him and for our health and our ability to enjoy each day with our family.

I know that I am not perfect, by any stretch, but I take the good with the bad and I try to stay positive. I thank God for my daily blessings and I lean on Him and take comfort in my faith when things are not so good.
I never shove my religion down anyone's throat, but I do my part in sharing the peace that it gives me, I hope that being open and honest about how much loving God brings me peace and security that someone who is not so "in tune" might consider it, maybe reach out... I believe that is what I am "supposed" to do as it suits my personality and doesn't scare anyone off.

So, thank you, Pastor. All of this comes from your November newsletter, it was good timing, it made me take inventory of myself and remind myself of my blessings and remind me to share my thankfulness. (Maybe I will cut and paste this onto my Blog!!)

With thanks & love,
Liz

Went on a date with my husband last night.
Let me let you into this private little underworld we call "romance"... no one does it better than my husband.
He cleaned up the kitchen and waited downstairs for me while I got ready. When the babysitter (aka - Stina, Jay's cousin and Abby's bff) arrived, he called up to see if I was ready - not bugging, just alerting to the fact that the sitter had arrived, therefore free time had arrived and getting out of the house quickly and enjoying every last drop of that free time is very important to me.
I came down - decked out in full cleavage, tight jeans, high boots and lipstick. And even though I do think the red lipstick was a bit much, he still made a face that said we could have skipped "going out" entirely. And I appreciate that in my man. 10 years and 2 kids later, I still make his head turn.
We kissed Abby goodbye, who could not have cared less about us leaving now that Stina had arrived.

Through dinner, we had a lovely discussion - we talked about the election, and politics in general; the school system in town, taxes, work, our house... all things "adult", not a thing about our kids. Sure, we digressed to a quick story here or there because our kids are ridiculously cute... but the point is, this stay-at-home-mama had an adult conversation with her husband - without interruption or explanation of why someone could not fly or eat candy before breakfast.
Grown up time is important.

Now, for the really important part-
Jay had Crab Bisque, House Salad and a Kansas City Strip.
I had Shrimp Cocktail, Blue Cheese Wedge and Filet Mignon.

Folks - if you respect a good piece of beef - look no further than J. Gilbert's in Glastonbury, CT. You may wait longer than you'll appreciate (relax, have a drink in the over-crowded bar) and you may pay more than you'll anticipate (it's worth it when you only go out a few times a year!) but it is the only place in the area worth ordering steak of any cut.

The desserts are also good, but don't expect to have room. Wyatt and I just polished off my Pumpkin Cheesecake over a cup of coffee... we loved it. Abby was not impressed. She's a chocolate fan, though, so I am not surprised.

Tonight we have our Quarterly Meeting. Some new members joining us this time around, but they're grandfathered. More on that another day...

I don't think I have ever cried about Election Results.
I don't think I have ever felt so proud to be an American.

I will have to take another picture of my Dining room. (I told you I make a project out of everything.) I think I may need more than a Buffet Table. I actually may need a Buffet, a Sideboard and a Corner Piece.
Yes. A $200 purchase just jumped to at least $500. If not more. I'm pretty cheap, though, so I could get it done for $500, plus shipping of course.
If I go for the 3 pieces, though, it cancels my need to move that shelf that I was whining about, and negates the need for a mirror - and you know what I found? Mirrors are at least $100 for a decent one, decent size, with a frame... ridic.
Anyhoo...

Today I voted.
Did you vote?
I am proud of my vote. Proud that I showed my children what it is to vote for the President of the United States. And as it is right now, it looks like my choices are KICKING ASS.

Saw the old ladies today.
Took the kids to Danbury hospital to see "Mama's Gramma", as Abby was referring to her great-grandmother. She looked very old and repeated herself a lot.
My gramma was married to my grampa for over 60 years and she is turning 90 this year. My grampa died almost 4 years ago - it was Spring Training, just before I got pregnant with Abby. My point is - my gramma has been all alone, for the first time in her life - her VERY LONG life - these past 4 years. And she got old very quickly.
Sometimes old people die when their spouses die. I think I thought that would happen to my gm. I'm not wishing her dead, obviously, but her last 4 years have been lonely and confusing and scary - and while she has clearly been trying to be independent and brave, I don't care what she says - it could not have been easy or fun. And she's a Bagen. So showing weakness is not an option - God Forbid.

Then we went down to Waterview Hills to see my great-aunt, Law Law. Or, Auntie Eleanor as she is called by most. She is all but completely deaf. I write her notes and she yells answers to me. You should have seen her face when I walked in with my 2 kids. Man - you woulda thought that Jesus Christ came in behind me. She loves the babies. LOVES the babies.
She was so happy to see us, so cute and smiley and blowing kisses to Wyatt and waving and just so friggin' happy.
It's weird - but it's like she's happy to be in the Nursing Home. She's cared for, content, visited and loved. She has no worries - she just "is".
And I say good for her. She is in her late 80's. Never married. And if she lives another year or 10, I think I agree with my aunt, she is a happy woman, in a good place.

We love Tono and Belle. After we saw the old ladies, we headed to Dutchess for some "cousin-friends" and pizza. We had a wonderful visit. My bff came with her baby, Ben, who is my Wyatt's bff and my Abby's future husband.
Sami, Leen and Abby sat at the table for pizza. So Wyatt decided he would, too. My 1 year old boy sitting at the table, eating pizza and drinking from a juice box like he's been doing it for years. And aside from a minor choking incident (a bite of apple went down the wrong pipe, no big whoop), he really did it like he has been eating pizza and kabitzing with the "big kids" for years. Hysterical. I will post pictures another day. I don't do the uploading around here.
We put Ben in the tub with Abs and Wy. That was cute - for about 30 seconds. Ben is a little too small for that giant tubby with my 2 maniacs. We did get some cute naked pictures, though!
I have a good "network". Two sisters and a best friend - that's a nice support system and sounding board.

I don't think I am making sense anymore. I am unbelievably tired. Today was busy. Did I mention that the Hospital, Nursing Home and Sister's House are all in NY - so in addition to the 100 miles to my sister's house, there is the additional driving in between all the visits. It's a lot. But, You gotta visit the old ladies, and you can't make it an entirely boring trip for the babies. So, I have to go to sleep. More tomorrow!

Congratulations on completing your First Day in your new Career, honey!!
I am so energized FOR - and so proud OF - you!!
Goodnight ~ xoxo

I love this time of year. It gets dark earlier so our families are nestled into our homes just a little earlier. The heat is on or the fire is crackling so the smell is just a little homier. The crockpot is cooking so the dinner is just a little tastier.
If you're like me, the occasional - not quite yet constant - holiday music makes the house just a little cheerier. The leaves are still crackling under our feet, we're not quite slipping on the ice and snow yet. We can see our breath in the air while we feel the warm sun on our faces. We're not hot and sweating but we're not cursing messy slush yet, either.

Yeah, this is definitely my favorite time of year. I feel more patient, more forgiving, more loving, more charitable, more blessed, more content and I just feel a real peace in my heart. I try to feel this all through the year. And I do, for the most part, but not to the same degree and not with the same ease.

So, my friends, may God bless you with the same happiness that glows around my home - that wish is the greatest gift I can offer this season.

So, tonight we Trick or Treated.
In 2006, we took Abby, our 9 month old Pumpkin, to a neighbor's pizza party.

It was, apparently, the last year of a neighborhood tradition. And it was perfect because we wanted to dress up our baby girl but of course, she was too little for ToT.

In 2007, Wyatt was 2 weeks old when Halloween rolled in, so we did what any parents would do - especially since I was recovering from C-Section #2.
We tucked the brand new boy into my jacket and hit a few houses with the Duck you see below:


Tonight... well, tonight was like our first Halloween.
Seriously - when we explained to Abby that on Halloween you get to dress up in a costume and go outside - at night - and see a whole bunch of other kids doing the same thing - and you get candy for it. Well. Her head just about exploded.
It really makes you remember what makes Halloween so special. As far as "holidays" go, this is a pretty stupid one. We're not Thankful for anything, we're not Celebrating anyone... "All Hallow's Eve" is evil, in fact (I think). Nothing to celebrate.
But when you're teetering on 3 years old and your parents are telling you to put on your Princess/Butterfly/Bal-ma-rina costume so that we can go outside - and NOT to bed - to get candy with all of your friends... well, there's nothing evil about that.
And the monkey was pretty psyched, too:



Happy Halloween!

I started my Christmas shopping. Almost a month ago, actually. I have gotten a few real toughies out of the way.
Now, I am trying to finish my niece & nephew in Scotland, because I want to wrap and ship before Thanksgiving and I am having a hard time.
I bought my niece a High School Musical thing that my sister says she will really like.
I want her to have something she will really like. Right?! But it wasn't that fun to buy. That's the thing with kids sometimes. They like shit that leaves you scratching your head. But the important thing is that they like it. And I remain the greatest aunt ever.
{Actually - my nieces have publicly declared their favorite aunts and uncles. I am not #1. Jay has been #1 though. Not sure if that list changes as frequently as I suspect, but I would have to guess it changes with the weather.}
I am also having a tough time with my nephew. I bought him a few fun Bob the Builder things for his birthday, which is also in December, so I thought I would go the clothes route for Christmas. He needs clothes and since he is almost 2, he doesn't really care.
And can you believe I am not having any luck? I can't find anything cute enough!
I love Baby Gap. I haven't found anything there.
I went to Kohls and JCP, in search of cute Carters-type stuff. Nothing.
Checked Gymboree, Children's Place, Janie & Jack. Nothing.
I could go for a toy. But now I am on a mission.

I think I got the green light from the boss to purchase a buffet table for our dining room.
Whenever we have a party, we have to drag up the big folding table. It is a great table, well worth the purchase. But it is huge and forces me to alter my decor. I hate that.
I take a lot of pride in my home and what better time to have it at it's best than when I have 30-40 of our friends and family over? But, no - I have to shift my dining room around and pull out a table cloth to cover up our giant utility table to be able to serve a ton of food and still allow people room to sit down.
Again, the table is great. And there will always be a need for it. But not in my otherwise beautiful dining room.
So - I am searching. The buffet table I have always wanted, is on sale at JCPenney. It actually matches my table and chairs. But now.... now that I am a click away from actually purchasing it... is it the right one? Have I looked far and wide?
I have a great wall shelf thingy over where the table will go. It's huge. The table will be shorter than the wall shelf. Does that matter? Do I care?
If I have to move the wall shelf, is that the end of the world?
I have a magical way of making the simplest thing into a gigantic plan and project. And I can see where someone might be saying "oh, just buy the freakin' table you have wanted for so long. It will be gone before you make a decision, you anal-retentive maniac!" But I am truly, completely serious here - I am perplexed... the table is almost 4 feet long. The wall shelf is 5 feet long. Is it going to look top heavy?
You know what would look great over the buffet? A long mirror.
But then, where would I put the beautiful shelf? Jay's uncle made it and we really like it. It would go nicely in my bedroom, actually...
So - where do I find a mirror?

Ok - thanks for your help.

Here's Baxter:

He is a really good dog. He isn't really big on... listening... coming when he's called... not jumping on people, young or old... not eating baby bottles, cheese crackers, Lambies, whatever... But there is something about this dog, you only have to meet him once. He is a good dog. He is a dog's dog. And he is so soft and he just looks at you like "love me. please." And you will.
He was stranded in New Orleans after Katrina. He was rescued and cleaned up and then rescued to his new, permanent home here on Charles Lane. And he is a happy boy.

Here's Baxter's house, look at that Autumn sky:


Here's the view, looking down, when you are a 2 & 1/2 year old, swinging in Baxter's backyard:


And here's that view, looking up:


Good day.

Censorship sucks.
People should be able to say and do what makes them happy, assuming, of course, that it doesn't cause harm to other people - because then those people wouldn't be happy. Catch my drift?
So, I don't believe in censorship - specifically on a Blog. I mean, come on - why does one blog? To spout off on one's feelings, opinions, hopes and dreams, right?
And sometimes I censor myself. I don't say exactly what I want to, whether it's because I think it through and it's mean, or because I think "ooh, I don't want so-and-so to think I mean them" even if I don't.
So, I have decided to letmy guard down tonight. There are a few things I want to get off my chest.
My entire life people have been telling me "Filter" or "You shouldn't say that" or "Watch how you say that" or "shut the fuck up, you loud mouthed bitch". Ok, maybe that last one wasn't said to my face very often, but we all know it's been thought on more than one occassion.
As I am now 32, a mother of 2 and a very satisfied wife and homemaker there isn't, frankly, much I don't say. A good part of that is because I simply don't have a lot of things to complain about, I don't let little things bother me and I stay positive. Being that way helps me "filter", so to speak, because I don't have much to say.
Anyway, I do have a few things on my mind tonight.

First of all - Carol, you crazy, grudge-holding witch. I never meant to hurt your feelings or cause you any harm. I have never and would never say or do anything to purposefully hurt you. So, get over it, get over me, move on and quit talking shit. It weighs on me and it makes me feel sad for you. So, quit it, so we can both feel better.

Lastly - Separation of Church and State, people!!
You may not ever abort a baby. You may not ever marry someone of the same gender. But you know what? That's your personal decision. You don't know what would lead someone to having to make such a decision and it is not up to you to make it for them. It is that simple. Some things are left to God, not the Government of the United States of America.

That's it for tonight. This post sounds far more negative than I actually feel - and if you think about it, these are the ONLY things bothering me at the moment. That's pretty good, huh?

Driving home from Stop & Shop today, I was on the phone with Jay when Abby piped up from the back seat "mama! I'm fallin'! I need to be strapped in!"
Yeah.
Worst Mom Ever.
She gets herself in her carseat by herself now, so she is usually doing that while I get Wyatt in. Today, when we were checking out, Wyatt managed to squeeze my cold but half full coffee until it spilled all over him and the checkout lane and it left me a little rattled. I was embarrassed and I sort of ran out of the store.
And, of course, there was a very nice man behind me with his 2 boys, same ages as my kids (of course, we were chatting while we waited, what would you expect?) who noticed Wyatt with the coffee before I did, even though I was standing between that guy and my kid.
The whole thing was stupid and embarrassing and silly and no big deal to anyone but me, but it sort of explains why I was rattled, right?
And there's my sweet little girl, nervous and law-abiding, calling for me to strap her in.

Worst Doctor Ever
You may know that I worship my ObGyn. Dr. Neville Graham, Hartford ObGyn Group. He, in my opinion, is the founding father of all things obstetric and gynecologic. The man knows what he's doing. And, he surrounds himself by almost-equally fabulous doctors and staff. Both of my pregnancies were flawless - and I never felt anything but safe and comfortable.
That said, I am now done with making, growing and delivering babies, so I found myself with a sinus infection and no one to prescribe my antibiotic. I was forced to find a General Practicioner. Jay likes his, so I signed up. The practice is run by the Dad and his daughter and her husband are also doctors.
The first time I went, it was for bloodwork leading towards a full physical. The bloodwork was a 7am appointment so I didn't take much time to look around. Plus, it was a technician, a simple blood draw, nothing to really observe or critique.
So, when I went in a week later for my physical, I was on full alert - taking it all in, trying to get a feel.
My first indicator was that I was about 10 minutes late. And when I approached the window, the fat woman behind it said I would have to reschedule, they could not fit me in. I apologized, explained that my sitter ran late and I had missed the turn into the parking lot and had to fight traffic turning around to try it again - all true. She stared at me like I was speaking another language. But she let me in.
The doctor I met, we'll call her "Dr. Deb", since that's her name, was a very large but soft spoken woman. The first thing I noticed was that she was wearing dyke-sandals and she had thick, yellowish toe nails. Ew. But, whatever.
She gave me a very thorough physical, everything from eyes, ears and "anything bothering you". Yes, something was bothering me, in fact. I had some pretty serious pain in my right side. It seemed to coincide with my period and was excruciating some days. She did some pressing and poking and sent me for an ultrasound. She also told me to see my Ob. No problem, I had an appointment in 3 weeks for my annual. "No, go now." Okay, way to freak me out.
I went for the ultrasound, expecting the worst to only see a puzzled expression on the technician's face when she said there is absolutely nothing to speak of. {And that was almost disappointing considering how very unlpleasant an internal ultrasound is, especially when there is no little jumping bean to get excited about.}
Anyway - this wasn't supposed to be so long, so, long story a little less long: no one found anything wrong with me. My Ob put me on the Pill (not Dr. G, the Nurse Prac from the office, whom I hate and I should have pushed back cuz the pain is still there so it clearly wasn't an "ovulation issue", but that's neither here nor there, at least not in this post). Back to "Dr. Deb"...
I went in yesterday, to have 2 lesions removed. Just ugly little scar-bumps that bugged me that she assured me she could get rid of. They didn't present any danger, they were just ugly, so I agreed. As I was looking around this "Family Practice" I did begin to notice a trend of marketing, though. A LOT of marketing for Laser Hair Removal, Laser Scar Removal. Honestly, more uneccesary, cosmetic marketing than in my Dermotoligist's office. I am not kidding. (UConn Health Center in West Hartford - Great Office).
So, I go in yesterday, with the kids. First obstacle: 2 kids, 1 stroller, 2 flights of stairs to the waiting room. There is a "Lift", and to use it allI had to do was unlock the door and press the "Call button". Unfortunately, there was no key to unlock this door (do all handicapped clients just get a key when they sign up?) and the only button I saw was large and red, indicating some sort of alarm may sound if not an atomic explosion. So, I hauled Wyatt up the stairs in his little umbrella stroller and Abby climbed. No big whoop.
Then I get there and there is a load of toys. Ew. Does anyone else realize that the toys in the doctor's office have got to be the dirtiest, germiest, most horrifying things a mother can lay eyes on? Luckily, the very socially-challenged office women called me in almost immediately.
Once I was in the office with Dr. Deb... she asked me how I was and I said I was annoyed that I had to climb stairs with a stroller. She had no explanation. Then i mentioned a billing issue that her office staff has been giving me the run-around about. She said "I really don't know anything about billing." Then I said there was something about my right ear that concerned me, sometimes I can't hear and I get dizzy and I think it might be clogged. She said she would have to schedule me in another room to check it and she wasn't sure what time that would be. I said forget it. Then she said "so, what are we doing today?" Really? Is this a hair salon? "A little off the wrist and lower leg, lady, thanks."
Then, she shot Novicaine into my wrist and leg and pulled out her little napkin full of rusty tools and began carving into my body while my 2 year old stared on in horror. Seriously. She took care of my weirdo-scar-bumps with a rusty scalpel.
Did I assume that was how it was going ot happen? In this world of lasers? No. Would I have brought my ever-inquisitive almost-3 year old daughter in to watch? No.
So - when we were just about done, Abby had to pee, Wyatt was crying form exhaustion and boredom and Dr. Deb offers to schedule me to take the stitch out (my leg needed a stitch - is another cut, witha stictch, really going to eliminate my original problem?!) she says "come back in a week. Or - you can just snip it yourself."
Really? I can remove the stitch myself? Why didn't I just suck down a bottle of whiskey and slice the fucking scar off with a straight edge? I really could have done this whole horrifying thing myself, wouldn't ya say, DEB!?
Anyway - I got the fuck out of there and I do not plan on ever going back. Ever. I will just say I have pain in my vagina, get an appointment at HOGG and then let them know I just need some Amoxocillin.

Children's Medicines
So, Abby is sick. No biggie. She has a runny nose, stuffy head, sore throat, fever... she cries a lot, wants to be held and needs a lot more sleep than she wants to have. It is sweet and sad and adorable.
Wyatt was due for his 1-Year check up so I brought Abby, too, and had Dr. Ram check her out.
**I am not a doctor's nightmare - I called first and made sure it was ok.** He prescribed her a decongestant and something to help suppress her cough so she could sleep better at night. Perfect. We've all been there. 2-year olds can't suck down Nyquil and Sudafed, they need a doctor's care. I don't ever think I will be the kind of parent who ever ignores a runny nose. Really. You just never know, it's worth the $20 co-pay to me.
My point?
Pop a kid full of medicine and even the sickest kid instantly thinks she's superwoman. "I'm all betta, mama!" No, baby, you need to go to sleep.

Worst Wife Ever
Yesterday was my 7th Wedding Anniversary. Jay and I have been "together" for almost 11 years, married 7. Cute, huh? I am the worst wife ever.
Jay brought me roses and a lovely card.
I forgot a card and fell asleep with Abby at 7pm. And slept through the night. He moved her out of our bed and climbed in next to me and I didn't budge.
How gross am I??

Aetna Girls
Just want to send a "shout out" to the Aetna Girls that are reading this right now. With Jay leaving the company, it has sent us down Memory Lane a lot lately. He certainly has his own path but some of my favorite memories involve Monica and Sue; Daisy; That girl who worked with you girls in the Call Center who's name I forget but she was totally bitchy and fun; Kim Mazzolla-Johnston-Egan (whom I still love so much as one of my very bestest)... I have to stop there because if I list more names and forget a bunch, that's mean.

Sucker for a Rooster I will close this ridiculously long post (fucking Dr. Deb, that was way too long) with a declaration of my love for all things rooster related. We are shopping for an area rug for the kids' section othe newly-designed basement. Plain, colorful, soft and large. And cheap. I don't want to spend a fortune on something that will ultimately eat play-doh, apple juice and puke.
And what to my wandering eyes should appear? Many large, round, rooster rugs.
We'll see what happens with this one.

I check my Yahoo mail a little more often than I check Facebook which I check more often than I check MySpace. And I check my Yahoo 2 or 3 times a month. So, yeah, if you need me, text or email Loshsplace.
Anyway.
Today I checked Yahoo, anxiously awaiting Uncle Carlos' Snapfish invitation and I had an email from Pampers.
I no longer have any use for Pampers. None.
Isn't that crazy?
Abby wears a Pull-Up at night. It has Princesses on it and she hates to actually pee on the Princesses, but she does, almost every night. But even those are made by Huggies.
And Wyatt uses Huggies. They fit his fat little thighs better than the Pampers did. So, I'm done with Pampers. But for 2 and a half years, buying Pampers was VERY important to me. I would often pull out my cell to use the Calculator to figure out what I was paying per diaper. I am a deal hunter. It kills me to pay more than I have to.
Now, I buy Huggies. I can get them at the big BJ's for $35 a case, with coupons it comes down to 28 cents a diaper. Not a bad deal.

Anyway. Today was my baby boys' birthday party. Jay and I worked very hard preparing for today. The trick is to do every single thing you can ahead of time. With proper planning, the day of the party can be very smooth and allow for plenty of time to actually enjoy the friends and family that we gathered together. And I do so love my friends and my family. In the very beginning, I get a little crazy- trying to get food rolling, make sure everyone has drinks and met anyone that they might not have met or remember meeting. And I need to make sure that Wyatt is happy - because I wasn't sure if he would be super-social or totally overwhelmed. He was super-social. He loved his day.
I need to check myself at times because my tendency to be ridiculously controlling and my unrelenting desire for everything to be perfect can be off-putting to innocent bystanders who are just standing in the kitchen - right in front of the oven or behind the island between me and my sink or fridge. Really - do I think people read my mind? I need to relax. :) But, at the same time, do people think I am have super powers that can allow me to see or walk through them when I am trying to feed 45 people and my kitchen is where 42 of them want to stand?
Anyway.
I saw my brother-in-law for 45 seconds, then he left. He had some shopping to do, I think.
I saw my BFF and her beautiful baby boy. They stayed the latest. And I love that.
My aunts and cousin came. They also brought my uncle. He is not a huge "birthday party guy" but he hadn't been here in a while and was feeling the love this weekend. It was wonderful to see him. He is fun, laid back and happy. It's nice to be around positive people.

I am a positive person. I love life. I feel very certain that "what comes around, goes around", and I don't think that conflicts with my faith in God, but if it does, then I am just not explaining it properly.

My husband resigned from his current employer and accepted a position with a small firm. He is taking a leap of faith. "Leaving the nest", if you will... He has worked for his large, Global corporation for almost 10 years. But he grew up in it and he was ready to spread his wings. I am overwhelmed with pride. I am proud of him, excited for him, thrilled for us - what this means to us is very hard to put in words, but it's a huge deal and we are so happy.

More on the bday party later. With pictures.