Dog Days

So here we are, August 11th, and summer is coming to an end.

When I flip through my pictures and memories of the past few weeks it is a blur of sand, salt, seaweed, chlorine, over-priced ice cream pops and suntan lotion.

There was a lot of this:

And several days of this:

Probably too much of this:

Sometimes you gotta throw in a little of this:

Add a bit more of this:

A few afternoons ended like this:

And while it is not over yet, it is starting to get old.  I have to admit it.  As I have said so many times before on this Blog, I appreciate all 4 seasons, and never do I appreciate the next one more than when the current one is coming to a close.

When Spring has sprung, I long for lazy days of beach and pool.
And now, as my bright summer annuals are getting overgrown and under bloomed, my grass is growing slower, my car is sandier than the beach and the kids are so tan that people ask me where they're from...
They get on each other's nerves, which gets on my nerves.
They're bored, I'm bored.
We're ready to get back into our routines.  We've been bouncing, shopping, watching, swimming, sunning, riding, running, visiting, partying, sleeping-over, over-indulging and generally doing nothing productive or useful and enjoying every minute of it.  But we're done.

We want school and weekends and sports and dance and pumpkins, mums, boots and sweaters.  Birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas.We're ready.  Because summer will come again, it's good like that.  And I am so ready to organize closets and make handmade Christmas cards, finish that cork garland I have been talking about and maybe even that Kissing Ball I bought all the stuff for 3 Christmases ago...

We have a few more great things on our Summer Bucket List.
Next week we will head down to Ocean Beach in New London.  Summer is not complete without soggy fries and soft-serve ice cream cones.  Abby has it in her mind that she will conquer the "big water slide" this year and Wyatt just really looks forward to the Motorcycles.

The Motorcycle Ride, Ocean Beach Park - 2011

It's a Day-cation, for sure.  One I really look forward to as much as the kids, if not more than them.  Just blogging about it right now has me all revved up thinking about it.  What a great way to spend a summer day.  The boardwalk, the "waves", the white sandy beach and of course, the splash pad.  I can't wait!!

The week after next we'll have a whole week of Daddy-Time.  A whole week off of work to hang with us.  Last year he tried this and Hurricane Irene stopped by.  Assuming we don't have a repeat of 2011, we're really looking forward to spending some quality time.  We'll hit the beach, drive up the shoreline a bit, maybe go see that new Disney movie about the plant-boy.  Eat some good stuff, play some fun things and just send summer off in style.  Beach, pool, firepit, movie nights, popcorn and icecream.

Because, really, without the sand, suntan lotion and tanned bodies - what would the point of summer be?

Dinah's Storm

Today I drove around with an old lady dog in my backseat.  She was soaking wet and running, terrified, from thunder and into roads that while I can't call them a "major intersection", I can say that for around here, it's dangerous territory.  So, what choice did I have but to pick her up and let her sleep soundly in my backseat while I drove around for 40 minutes looking for any sign of someone frantically searching for their terrified, lost dog?!

And for what reason would I be driving around on this particular day, when this particular storm and this particular dog happened to cross my path, while my kids were at camp (for their first time ever, away from me for a whole day - we can discuss the hole in my heart later)?  For what reason would this sweet, greying, frightened and lovely little girly dog run in front of my car while it's raining so hard I was trying to decide if it was just huge drops or actual hail?  Her tail was between her legs, her thick, groomed wolf-like coat was soaked but her eyes looked peaceful and her body language asked for help.
So, I got out of the car.  And I talked to her.  And I opened by back door.  And she hopped in.

At first, she stood and looked nervous.  And while I am absolutely an animal lover, I am also an animal respecter - and with that comes a healthy dose of fear - and my fear of being bit kept me from going right at her to check her collar or pet her head.
I let her relax.  I stopped home and checked on my own 'fraidy-dogs, got some water and a few treaties and went back to my little stray.
She was not hungry or thirsty.
She was tired.  She laid down.  She slept so hard I could hear her breathing.  I thought about bringing her home and calling it a day.

But instead I drove on.  And let her sleep.
And then I turned down a random cu-de-sac, all the while talking sweetly with my new girly dog.  And I said to her "you never know why things happen the way they do, you never know why you make a turn where you would not normally  turn" and so I turned.  In that cul-de-sac I decided she was confortable enough for me to open the back door and pet her and check her collar.
No tags.

I think I already knew I was not actually going to take her to the Animal Control Office in town.  First of all, they didn't answer the phone (or call me back promptly as their vm promised), so I knew they weren't there and confirming that wasn't worth the ride to me.  Secondly, I called!  I did my part.  I was not going to "surrender" this sweet girl to the authorities in hopes that some uniformed guard might care enough to find her a home.  I would be her home!!  She was sweet!!

As I was checking her tags, a car pulled out of it's driveway and up next to me.  I was looking for people looking for their dog - because everyone else was inside watching the storm, not standing outside in it.  But this woman happened to pull out as I was checking out my lost girl.
She said hello and introduced herself kindly, I said "I found a dog!"  She got out of the car and with the excitement of a 7 year old said "Can I See?!?!"
She did not recognize her but made no motions to leave me in her neighborhood, scratching my head.

At this point, I knew I could not let the dog back out of my car to find her way.  But I also knew I could not squeeze my 2 small, excitable kids into the back seat with her.  She seemed lovely and relatively clean, but who knows.
But I didn't know what to do.
Enter Debbie.  My new best friend.

When I explained that I did not want to give the dog to animal control ("she's so cute!") but I also didn't want to lock her in my garage as the storm that she seemed to be running from raged on all around her, and I couldn't put her in my house with my 2 dogs who were also foaming at the mouth in the humidity and thunder and I couldn't keep driving around with her because I had to pick up my kids, Debbie said - without any hesitation at all and much to my shock and delight - "I'll take the dog!"

Here is where I have to tell you that Debbie was a striking red head - friendly, freckly, pretty and red.  And yet, none of my usual red-head-flags shot up.  She seemed so genuinely kind and concerned.  Almost like she had been waiting for a new dog to show up.  She had a blanket for the seat in her car and a leash!
("you never know")

So, Debbie took the dog, I went home to my own dogs and took stock of my day.

In the morning, I dropped Abby off at school for her first ever, long awaited, day at camp.  As a stay-at-home-mom and beach-bum, I have never seen the need for summer camp.  We hang out in the summer.  We go to the shore, we go to the lake and we have a pool.  But this year has proven more challenging than years past.
It's not that my kids are super-spoiled (they are, admittedly, regular-spoiled).  It's not that they're bratty.  But, at nearly-5 and 6-going-on-16 they are, without a doubt, on each other's nerves.  And every day, with me, they are getting bored.  They are without structure, and they are bored.  They need more than what I am giving them.  Next year I will plan better.
So, this week they went to camp for a day.  I had meetings and camp is more fun and cheaper than a babysitter.
Abby went in the morning, lunch and 2 snacks packed, ready to rock.  I kissed her goodbye and walked away.
I felt like my heart was going to fall on the hallway floor.
Amazing what absence can do for the fonder...
What the hell am I going to do when school starts?

From there we stopped at Papa's house to drop off Nana's sunglasses that she left at our place.  A nice visit with Papa and the pooch.  He gave Wyatt a new hat - a red one to match the red shorts and red t-shirt he chose for his day.  The hat says "Stolichnya".

After that I dropped Wyatt off at his friend's house (and I really felt my loneliness kick in).  They had about an hour to play before lunchtime and then they, too, were off to camp.  We had decided (three of us, moms of 3 Kindergarten boys) that a half day would be enough for them at this point so they had a playdate and lunch first.

From playdate drop-off I went back to school to meet with the 2 principals of the 2 elementary schools with my PTA Co-Prez, CR.  We met and chatted and did our agenda and political deeds.  We laid out our meetings for the year, discussed costs and concerns and, I hope, are done with that.
The one thing I do not want, with this new role of PTA Co-P, is to be in meetings, in cahoots, in bed with administration.
Don't misunderstand me, I adore our principals - and our superintendant.  I like & respect them as women and administrators.  I consider myself - and our town - pretty lucky to have 2 female principals and a female superintendant that are moms and teachers and all around career women, but are also fearless and awesome and, to be honest, gorgeous.  LOVE that.
But, as PTA prez, I want to be neutral.  I don't want my personal opinions to play a role.  I want to focus on the kids, their benefits, the teachers, their benefits and the overall community feel - the pluses, the extras, the greatness that the PTA can give to a community.
Not to be dictated by the governing bodies, only to be dictated by need, want and appreciation.

From PTA I went to the Country Club.
I finalized the menu for the Dinner-Dance I am planning as a fund-raiser for the local Food Pantry.  I can honestly say "I" here because so far, it's all me.  I will need help - I do!  But I haven't found it yet so, so far, I'm pretty freakin proud of me.
We finalized the menu.  Cash bar with Beef & Fish buffet dinner, appetizer stations, salads, pastas, desserts - the whole nine - it's gonna be awesome.  DJ.  Photographer.
I am so flippin excited.
Now, onto the marketing.  That part is the key part because if I mess it up, or even if I don't maximize it - my planning, my whole idea - will fail.
I have to sell 120 tickets.
How?

From the Club I went to town.  I had a few things for sale in the Consignment shop.  It seems like Abby was the last girl born.  We ran out of girls.  Every baby born after Abby had a penis.  So, I ran out of good things to do with her better clothes.
I am a huge charity giver.  But sometimes - it's just too good!!  I want to see it move on, or I want to get something back for it.
Ralph Lauren and Gap and Janie & Jack!  I want to see a return on my investment!!
So, I went to consign.  Almost 3 months ago.
And so, in parting with a shopping bag full of stuff, I waited and waited.
And I made 20 bucks.
I feel dirty.
I'll just pass it on from now on.  If it's really worth it, I'll eBay it.  Consignment is not for me.

From town I went to ManchVegas.  Birthday party next week.  Both kids are invited.  Need gifts.
I went quick, one store.
Headed home as the skies got dark.  And so we come back to the doggie in the street in the pouring rain...

Debbie took the doggie from me and I felt good about it.  I felt sad because in that hour or so, I had gotten attached, but I felt good because we exchanged numbers and I knew that if she didn't find her home, she was going to keep her.  I knew it.
So, I felt good.

About 3 hours later, she called me.  She found her home.  Her name was Dinah and she was home.

Life has a funny way of finding it's way.

And, to add to this story, it turns out - Debbie is BFF's with my next door neighbor.  Small, small world.

One day in...

... and it rained and thundered and lighteninged and rained some more.
So, what were we to do!?  We went to the mall!!  Duh!!
And while we struck out on both ideas I had for my niece's birthday present (my whole "reason" for heading to the mall in the first place) we were greeted by a brand new, still-smelling-clean Germ Tank!!
So while the rain poured and the lightening crashed, my kids were joyfully jumping, playing and bonking heads with several dozen other children.
Good stuff.

Today we will make an attempt at the Lake.  It doesn't look particularly warm in the forecast but I somehow doubt that will stifle the kids' excitement.  Me, I'm not planning to wear a swimsuit, but I will look forward to burying my feet in the sand while I sit in my beach chair and take it all in...

Oh, I wonder...

...if the onset of summer vacation will make me more Bloggy or even less....  We are looking forward to so many summer adventures, not the least of which was officially (as in with real money) joining the lake this year.
We have a sunset date planned with Aunt Belle at Harvey's.
We want to go to the zoo in Rhode Island.
Big waves are calling from some beach in RI that we've never been to (Lookout?, not sure...)
Many trips to the various shore beaches we love.
Six Flags New England.
Maybe Santa's Village?!?!
A Camping weekend??

Wyatt will start K in the "fall" and Abby will start first grade.  Both kids will get on the bus at 8am and get off closer to 4pm.  That's a lot of time without my kiddos.  I am not looking forward to it and I plan to take advantage of every moment this summer.
I know so many moms that sign their kids up for every camp and activity they can write a check for over summer break.
Not me.  Not yet, anyway - (judge not lest ye be and all that jazz.)

So, Friday is the last day of school.  We have a big pool party planned for all of our besties...  Then it's off to the races.  How much awesomeness can we squeeze into 8 weeks of summer vacation?

We shall see...

Too Much Sadness.

I have a wonderful network of friends here in town.  I call them all "mama" because that is what we are, that is what have in common, that is what is at our core.
We are mamas.

Some of us work outside of the home, most of us do not.
The women that I call my mamas do not make that an issue.
The women I call my mamas are the ones that I respect, admire, care for and trust.  They put their families first, they care about our community.  I can ask them to watch my children or grab me a dozen eggs  since they're going to the store anyway.  I don't sweat picking up a cup of coffee or having one picked up for me.  We don't quibble over a lunch tab or who's watched who's kid more often or with shorter notice.
We support each other.  We look out for each other.  We ask for guidance and give advice.
We look forward to our kids growing up together and cherish the moments along the way.
We also drink large quantities of wine together, debate town politics, dish catty bullshit and laugh our asses off.

The past few days have been difficult for my mamas.

The past few days have been incredibly, mind-blowing-ly, miserably depressing.

Within our community, cancer took one of our own.
Just outside of our small community but close enough for the ripples to affect, there was a violent accident involving a 6 year old boy.  He died.
And this past weekend, right here in town, a boating accident has put one of my mama's husbands on life support, with only prayer and hope to offer, we're all feeling completely helpless.

When I heard about the passing of my friend-of-a-friend, I felt sad but also some relief.  She had been very sick for a long time and she had been preparing for the inevitable.
I felt some peace that she was finally out of pain.
And then it occurred to me that, while I was relieved for her relief, I hadn't really considered how much it sucked that she got cancer to begin with.
I knew her pre-cancer, we hung out in the same circle of friends, drank wine and laughed many nights.  But I really got to know her story through her cancer, through that network of support and compassion, I had more to do with her in cancer than in life.
So while I am at peace with her being in Heaven, the grief of her passing hit me a few days later.  She has  twins, a boy and a girl.  They are lucky to have their dad who was on the brink of re-marrying when her diagnosis came.  They will have parents and siblings and a fine life ahead of them.  But they won't have their mom.
That is really fucking sad.

When I read about the little boy who died, I was devastated.  The story gripped me because the boy they showed in the picture was a happy, toothless 6 year-old, one I did not know personally but who looked like every other happy, toothless 6 year-old I know.  He didn't look like a tragic accident.
But his parents lost him, his brother and sister lost him.  He's dead and I am so sorry, I don't think I could feel any sadder for them if I did know them personally.
Then, I found that one of my mamas, one of my nearest and dearest did know him, and his family personally.  Her 6 year-old boy went to pre-school here in our little town, with that little boy.
Then, she shared details of their lives with me, details of that baby's funeral with me, details of his mother's reaction and strength.
She told me about 15 boys in full Boy Scout uniform that carried a tiny casket down the aisle of a church followed by his mother, walking tall and singing proudly about her baby boy's trip to heaven.
Right when I didn't think I could feel any sadder through my whole body, she told me that the mother of that little boy said to her "we will get through this".

When I opened up my MacBook to check my mail after a busy day of domesticity and errand-running on Monday night, I did not expect much more than a Book Club update and to see if a few checks had cleared.  What I got instead was a punch in the gut that I neither expected nor have completely recovered from.
A mama of mine, one of my oldest and favorite-est - her husband was "in a boating accident, is on life support, we don't know any more details."
Now, here is where the magnificence of my small town network comes in.  This news was only hours old and already, 12 of us were on call for childcare, food prep, laundry, house cleaning, car pools and whatever else this mama might need.
That's beautiful, right?
And what's behind that?  Love.  Community.  Support.  Compassion.
All that.
And Fear.
Fear.  Because that family?  They're just like my family.  They are us.
When she kissed her husband goodbye Saturday morning for Opening Day of Fishing in Connecticut, the very last thing on her mind was "this could be it, better make it a good one."
He wasn't going sky diving, or hunting or even Ice Fishing!  He was going out on a lake, in a boat, with his buddy.  I presume he's done this many times before.  I wonder if she even woke up enough to say goodbye.  He probably left really early.  Did she even say good bye?
And now he's got a brain injury.  He's in a medically induced coma because his brain is swelling.  He is completely on Life Support.
And my mama and her beautiful daughters are sitting by his hospital bed, afraid to move.
What's going to happen to him?  Them?  What's next?
No one knows.  No one can help.  They can only wait.  And I am terrified for her.

I know how awful and depressing this blog post is.  I am sorry if I am completely ruining your day.
I don't even have a happy ending.  I have only more questions.
What if that was Jay?  What if he went fishing and hit his head and fell in the water and was in a coma on life support?  What would I do?  Because I know this family - and it could have been us.
That terrifies me.

So, today while the kids were at school I found myself with one of those pleasant afternoons of "nothing to do".  A little perk of having no actual occupation.
I also had no money (another "perk") so I came home after dropping the kids off and swept the floor.  Then I baked some cookies while The Birds was on cable in the kitchen.
It was a very pleasant afternoon.  Wyatt came home with our neighbor so I didn't have to leave for pick-up and Abby came home on the bus.
They loved my cookies (chocolate chunk and pecans in a basic dough - nothing fancy but I had all the ingredients and they really came out great) and with nothing else to do, I sat down to watch tv with them.
An hour later, I woke up and found them both still sitting on me and the clock telling me to start dinner.
After dinner, we read a couple of books and Jay and I tucked the kids in.
Wyatt fell asleep but Abby asked me to snuggle her.
My girl is very intuitive and she can tell that I am a less than happy.  Not that she knows why or how, but it affects her mood, too.  I was happy to oblige so I got into bed with her and we snuggled.  She fell asleep pretty quickly but I stayed.  I was looking out the window of her bedroom watching the wind blow the trees, noticing how green things are getting and just feeling lost.
Then, I sort of focused on the trees and felt a memory.  Do you ever feel a memory so vividly it's almost like an out--of-body experience?
I was remembering her little room with different colors, different curtains and paint...  with a crib and a changing table and rocking chair.
I was rocking my tiny, tiny baby to sleep.  Gently getting out of the rocker with her in my arms, gingerly placing her tiny-ness into her giant crib, desperate not to jostle her or wake her only to have to nurse and rock her back to sleep and repeat the process again.
Some nights I think I did it 2 or 3 times before I escaped her room.
I can remember those nights, feeling trapped, feeling like I would never get her off my boob, never get her to fall asleep on her own, never get out of that room...
And on this night, not wanting to get out.  Wishing for a rocker and a crib...

Life is so precious.  Family, friends, happiness.  It's so precious.

Missed You...

I may have mentioned this before...  but people who do not signal when they are turning really annoy me.  Being behind someone who is mysteriously slowing down and finally turn -  that's annoying.  But being behind them, I can probably figure it out and slow down with them...  assuming I am looking, and not texting.
But the ones that are coming at me from the left, while I am waiting to turn out and go right.  I hate them.  Because when they don't signal, they waste moments of my time that I will never get back.


I re-signed up for Weight Watchers.  Why don't I just call myself a "Lifer" and save on the monthly fee?  I don't know but I'm back.  And you know what is the worst part?
Not that one Cadbury Cream Egg will take up more than half of my day's intake.  Not that my coffee and skim milk habit actually amounts to One Point...  Not even that I am hungry all the time and actually contemplate how much exercise I would have to trade to eat steak.  I don't mind that - that's a healthy trade off.
No, the worst part is that ONE GLASS OF WINE IS FOUR POINTS!!!  FOUR POINTS!!!  That's half a meal!!  I have to give up food for the Grape.  I'll do it, don't misunderstand me.  I am committed to the Grape and I won't be turned off course.
But really, I think my skin is going to suffer.


The husband has been home for a couple of weeks now.  It's an odd mix of love and discomfort.
I love having him around, but after 15+ months of not having him around, it's taken some adjustments.  All in all, it's worth it.
T-Ball has started up again, yard work beckons and he looks pretty hot on his new Deere.  Yes...  I think his tractor's sexy.


Buffalo Wild Wings just opened up near us.  Never been but I love wings and beer like a man and I am really looking forward to it.  I see a Ladies' Night in my future.
See that?!  See how quickly I can veer off course, Jenny Craig?  From counting points to sucking down buffalo wings and Not Light Beer.
It's a long road ahead, readers.


I continue to battle my "do I send my baby to kindergarten or wait?" issues - suffering in silence because I really just beat my head against the wall.  Do I have some motherly, internal, knowing that sending him is a mistake?  Or am I just paranoid and worried?
I subbed in a kindergarten class yesterday and the teacher, a 30-year veteran, answered me with "I always suggest the gift of time, why rush?".  30 Years.  She's seen a lot more than I can try to understand.  And she's not the "crazy old bat" type that's been teaching for 30 years, she's so in touch and loves her kids so much.
The boy's teacher points to his progress reports and says "there is nothing here that would direct me to tell you to wait."  In translation that means "I am so glad my kids were born first-quarter and I will never have to deal with this."
My heart says I am rushing him.  My brain questions my heart.  My husband is all about the empirical data.  I have none.  I have only worry, constant, unending, emotion-based worry.
However, I will add that with my experience in both kids' classes and in other classes since I started subbing I am starting to find more basis for my worry.  More facts, mixed with even more worry...  So who knows...  a couple more months of school, a couple of months of summer vacation...  only time will tell.


I have officially signed on to be PTA President.  Hold your applause.
My good friend, Claudia, and I will be co-presidents.  Neither of us wants to deal with the drama and bullshit but together, somehow, we will.  And truly, we'll do a really good job.  We're smart, we care and we're involved already - so it should go well.  Stay tuned.




Is it Beach Season yet?  I just vacuumed last year's sand out of my trunk...  in preparation for this year's of course.  Can't mingle the beaches.

Recognition.

One of the struggles I have had as a stay-at-home-mom has been my occasional feeling that my work goes uncredited.  Like, even though I am exhausted at the end of the day/week/year, I have nothing to really show for it, nothing to "prove my worth".

I know you can easily come back at that statement with "your children being happy and healthy are the proof of your hard work"...  blah blah blah...  I would say the same thing to you if you were feeling down.  We all know that, some days it's just hard to feel that.

There is no one to blame for this feeling.  It is just a feeling, no one makes them happen.

My husband is amazingly supportive and loving.  He showers me with praise and adoration and he does not go unappreciated.  I thank him, too.  We are a good team.

Nonetheless, I have to admit that I am at times, at odds with my choice to give up "earning" for "caring".  

I care for the house, the kids, the husband, his career, the school and town stuff...  and I do care.  A lot.  And I take pride in my volunteer work, my involvement with the kids' school days, friends and activities.  

I have never had any intention of throwing myself into a new career once the kids "get bigger".  This is my career, this is my life.

Watching the stray kid here and there, subbing a few days a week at school, scouring sales for the best deals and never paying full-price - that is stuff I do to throw a little ching back into the pot sometimes...  I like doing those things.  Those things require little more of me than I am willing to give and those things are also voluntary.  If I get called to work at school I don't have to go.

My husband has to to go to work.  All the Time.

So, I don't complain.  Not too loudly.

We have had a few weekends when Mommy has had to disappear for several hours.  To the mall, to the gym, to Kohls - what have you.  Mommy needs solitude sometimes.

Then, along comes a day like today - Tuesday March 27th - and all of my worry and need for measure are sated.

Today was report card day.  And I am walking on air.  I am a sappy, goopy mess.

Pride.  Love.  Pride...  I am just a happy mama.

I know it's about them, not me - obviously I know that - but the pride I am getting from their progress far outweighs anything ever handed to me by a manager at any number of the jobs I have had in previous lives.  Words like "well liked by her classmates" and "a natural leader at play".  "25 out of 25" and "14 out of 14".  "Cooperative and Polite".  "Kind and Helpful".  "Fun".  "Energetic".  "Happy".

"Focused and Enthusiastic".

No percentage above average or salary increase ever made me beam and cry and just over-the-top melt in the way that these pieces of paper that came home today have.

So.  I'm doing something right.  I have been recognized, indirectly, for my diligence.  So, today - I will hold my head a bit higher, worry a bit less and hope that should the day come that a report card is anything less than fabulous, I don't hang myself by my own apron strings.

This was a fun day...

Pumpkintown is for the Bees...

Today might have been our last foray to the land of the Pumpkin.  I love Fall.  I love the smells, the sounds, the flavors...  I love Wyatt's birthday and how it kicks off the entire holiday season.
What I don't love is aggressive, stinging bugs coming at me with a purpose - only made worse when they aim for my kids.
Call me a ginat baby but the bees literally chased me out of Pumpkintown today.
No, thanks!  No, way!

So, our visit was cut short but we really could have tried harder...  the truth be told, we didn't care that much.  Pumpkintown was a fun, enjoyable, season-y thing to do when the kids had pretty much nothing else to do with our time.
Now, with school and activities we had to squeeze it in.  And squeezing in a fun activity is hardly a good way to start out.
To add insult to injury, we had to pay admission.  In previous years, when it was a random weekday that we decided to head to Pumpkintown it was free.  Today, being Columbus Day Observed, we paid $4 each.  So, $12 to get chased by bees in blazing sunshine while sweating in line for a pumpkin bounce house that, according to Abby, had too much air and was not very bouncy at all.

Perhaps we'll put P-Town behind us.  It seems we've outgrown it.  But it will forever be a fond memory of my tiny kiddos' Fall line up...

2009

 

Today, 2011

Today, 2011

2010

2009.  Where's Wywy?

How Tall in 2010?

Today, 2011

Two Weeks is like 5 Minutes...

I was worried about what I would do with my "free" time when Wyatt started school.  I was worried that I would be lonely and bored.

< insert ridiculous eye roll and lip twist here >

Instead, the days are blending into the weeks and the month of September is almost over.
I am back and forth to school at least twice a day, I am up and down the driveway for the bus twice a day, I am babysitting for a 3-year old baby girl 2 days a week, 10 hours a day.

Abby goes straight from school to dance on Mondays.  I cannot take her because I have 2 extra kids, in addition to Wyatt, on Mondays and Wednesdays but I am so grateful that my good friend, her little friend's mom, takes both girls every week.  But it's a long day apart.  She gets home around 5:45, in time for dinner and bedtime.  We snuggle and talk about her day and make bedtime as late as we can because Mondays are long, and we miss each other.
Tuesday mornings we stay in our jammies, stay cozy and try to regroup from the busy weekend-into-Mondays.  But Tuesday morning ends quickly when reality hits and both kids are off to school and I am getting whatever I didn't finish on Monday done.

I am donating my "extra" time to PTA activities and volunteering in the kids' classrooms in addition to the old stand-bys of cooking, cleaning, shopping and maintaining the household.
My head is constantly spinning.  My to-do lists are piling up because while most of it is getting done, I don't have time to care and check it off the original list.
I cannot believe how wild and busy and crazy and exhausting and fun September is!

Abby asks Wyatt about every detail of his day in Pre-K and today, she wanted me to drive her in so that she could see him go to Drop-Off and get a quick hug from her precious Mrs. Monarca.  And tonight, she cried about how much she missed her Pre-K teacher, friends and school day.  She's working so hard, she misses her easier days.  Last week, Thursday I think, she cried "why do I have to go to school every day?!"  But when she was done crying she said "I guess when I'm in first grade, I'll cry about missing Kindergarten".

Seriously?
First grade?

School.

Tomorrow is the first day of school.  Tomorrow should have been the 6th day of school but, as you may have noticed, Irene had other plans.
So, tomorrow I will put Abby on the bus and send her off to Kindergarten.  She will be driven by Mrs. C, who she knows as Tyler's mom - not scary.  And being that she is going to Afternoon Kindergarten the bus will have only other afternoon kindergartners on board.  PM-K is good for so many reasons.  Many of which I never considered and am now so grateful for.  Not getting rushed in the morning and not having big kids on the morning bus are only 2 of those things that I never knew I would value so much.
Once I get Abby safely loaded onto the "D" I will then head up to Gilead with Wyatt loaded up in the Bu, ready for his first day of Pre-K.
He is very, very excited.  If you ask him, he will carry on about playing with toys, being with his friends and Mommy dropping him off and leaving him with Mrs. Aubrey - but coming back to pick him up - but not staying with him.
The very thing that has him the most excited - Mommy dropping him off and leaving - is the very thing that leaves me without breath and very sweaty.
I have never left my baby boy anywhere - to do anything - without me.
Yes, he goes to "daycare" at the gym.  It's never more than 2 hours and I am never more than a few feet away.  And if he cried or needed me, they could get me within 2 minutes.

Once I drop him off tomorrow I have to Drive. Away.  I won't see him or what he's doing.  I won't hear the funny things he'll tell his teacher or the conversations he'll have with his little friends.
He will be on his own, in a group of his tiny little peers, all by himself.  For the first time ever.

It's only 3 hours, 4 days a week.  And I couldn't have asked for a better school or teacher.  And Abby went to the same program for 2 years.  I have nothing to fear.  No legitimate concerns or issues.

I am just very, very attached to my baby boy.

I don't love him more than I loved his sister when I sent her off to Pre-K 2 years ago.  I cried that day, too.  But I didn't have this anxiety.  My heart was not racing and my stomach did not feel feathery.
He is not less excited than she was.  In fact, he might be more excited because he has been waiting and watching for 2 years and now it's his turn.

I am not worried or anxious for Abby to start Kindergarten.  There are 14 kids in her class and her teacher is seasoned, kind and confident.  I can't say more than what my first impression told me but I already like her.  Abby would do well either way, though - that's her personality.  I don't worry about the situation she is heading into, I know Abby will adapt and be awesome.

I will just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.  My friends tell me that by the end of the month I will be thanking the heavens that they leave me (almost) every day for a few hours.  They tell me I won't know what to do with them over Christmas vacation or *sigh* summer vacation next year. 
But I know I will know what to do.  Enjoy,  Every.  Moment.

I will be in their classrooms.  I will be on their field trips.  I will be here when they get home and hear all about whatever they want to share with me.
My house will be decorated with artwork and projects.
And when they want to watch tv, I will happily turn it on because I will know that they have had full, productive days and deserve a little downtime.
I will make hot soups and crockpot dinners. 
It's almost holiday season - ghosts, witches, pumpkins, mums and corn...  followed by Santa and Angels and Christmas trees...  followed by the lingering snowflakes and snowmen..  all homemade and full of glue and sparkles!

Hurrican Irene - in pictures

 Day One
More wind than rain...  these pictures don't really do it justice. 
It's hard to capture that with the camera but it was awesome to watch.

The fact that we hadn't lost power for what seemed like "the worst" of it helped my awe.

This tree snapped and fell across the street.  The town had already moved it back off of the road when we (and the rest of the neighborhood) took our walk.  It was the photo-op of the day...  I should have charged $5 a shot!

I arrogantly began baking this pineapple bread pudding while the storm was still raging.  I finished baking it in the grill.
It was delicious.

Cook 'em if you got 'em.
They were talking about 5-7 days of power-free living before Irene even reached Connecticut so we were prepared.

Abby & Wyatt camped out on our floor...  it was very, very dark.

  

Day Two

After the lights went out on Sunday the wind continued to whip through the afternoon and night. 
It was very unsettling.  

The next morning, however, the sun was shining and the sky was a beautiful blue. 
Jay made us coffee with the camping coffee pot and we made breakfast on the grill. 
It was still pretty fun.  Our food was still cold and our adventurous spirits were high,

Gorgeous morning for hot coffee!  (Really, really hot!)

Juice boxes in the morning!!?  Aw, Yeah!

Helping Daddy pick up sticks.  Obviously.

Dinner by candlelight...

Goodnight!

A few things I did not get shots of Monday:

• Driving out to Nel's to grab showers & dinner and stopping to find Q broken & bleeding in the middle of Charles Lane.  Jumping into action for my girl only to find that I cried harder than she did while Jay called 911 and her parents.  I'm no good in an emergency.  (At least not when Jay is there and I don't have to be.)
• Watching Q get wrapped and strapped and zipped away in an ambulance.
• Seeing her on the couch 2 days later, smiling through the pain and flinching/crying as she tries to get comfortable while telling me the full story of what led to our finding her on Charles, bleeding.  (And my rage at all things teenage and stupid.)
• Her broken tib/fib, surgery with 2 rods, skinned and bruised legs, feet, toes and arms.
• Jody wrestling with frustration, sadness, anger and stress while maintaining patience, kindness and warmth.  Being a good mommy is so hard sometimes.

Day Three
Sitting around by candlelight was starting to feel a little icky.  We didn't want to be "quitters" but we were getting antsy sitting in the warm, dirty dark.  We missed running water.  A lot. 
So we decided that if there was no progress on Tuesday we would go stay at a hotel for a night or two.  We needed a break.  Or so we thought.

Dunkin' for breakfast with Hershey's Strawberry Milkshakes?!?!?

The fridge.  After.

The fridge, Before.

Come on, Ride the Train!!

Hello, Sanctuary!!

This room was as big as our first apartment.  That door on the left lead to our bedroom with 2 Queen beds. 
You also can't see the sectional.

Indoor pool...

...takes the sting out.

Day Four

Waking up in the hotel was nice...  air conditioning, comfy beds and warm showers are hard to beat.  Add free breakfast and coffee to that and well, I miss it right now.

Considering that we were staying for free with Points earned by Jay because he stays at Hyatts every week for work - he was not having a good time staying at a Hyatt "for fun".
And considering that our dogs were still at 131, we couldn't exactly go far...  we had to take care of them which meant driving back and forth two or three times a day.  It sounds cool, but it just wasn't relaxing, it was annoying.

By mid-day we were already planning our trip home.  We felt helpless and like we deserted our post.  One more night and we planned to head back, lights or no.

The final straw:  these 2 kids arrive for another day of fun in the indoor pool to find it locked.  "Maintenance" closed the pool.  We were already ready to go home but this sealed it for the kids.

 Day Five

It was really nice to get home.  

Jay got the fire pit going and we bribed the kids to pick up sticks by allowing them to toss them in.

It was a gorgeous day, the fire smelled great and I put a good dent in my book while relaxing on the deck.  Reading in the quiet, in the middle of the day, outside is one of the most relaxing, loveliest activities in the world.  One I intend to participate in far more often.  

(Especially once the kids start school!!  Did I mention school was supposed to have started on Monday of this week?  Not even Winter yet and already 5 snow days deep!)

We also decided on this day that without power we could not hold a proper Jaybor Day Celebration.  We pulled the plug on the 35th Annual Celebration.  I can only hope to make the 36th unforgettable.

The branch that snapped and wedged itself into the "Tri-Tree" is huge.  It's basically a "Quad-Tree" now.

Widow-Maker.  Gotta find a tree guy.

It was nice to be back.

Day Six

We decided to take a break in a different way on Friday.  We headed to the gym - earlier than I have ever headed to the gym in my life because really, what else was there to do - exercised, showered and headed down to the shore.

We ate lunch at Flanders Fish Market.  

 Flanders offers the most delectable, amazingly delicious, creamiest, tastiest Lobster Bisque I have ever tasted, smelled or seen.  I highly recommend it.

This girl was...

telling me something...

very serious.

After lunch we took a drive and stopped to look at the drawbridge, some boats and just the water in general.  I had hoped to find a strip of beach to walk on...  fantasized about it, dreamt of it...  but we did not.  We weren't willing to pay or trespass so we just kept on driving.

Always making our day a little bit more interesting, Wyatt managed to get his head stuck on this little walkway.
He was released unharmed.

 After our shore excursion we headed to Nana & Papa's for dinner.  Nana baked something she called "macaroni".  We were so starved for home-cooking we ate it, but when enough time passes that we can make fun of her without it being too sensitive, we have every intention of doing that. 

She's a great Nana, but she's no Betty Crocker.

Wyatt steering the ship.

Our little mermaid.

CL&P had already promised us our electricity so when they promised again neither of us took it to heart.  Candlelit cards and a bottle of red wine, in bed by nine.  I was getting used to it.  Truly, I did not miss tv or internet or noise.  I missed water and clean laundry and showers but the peaceful darkness was becoming comforting.

That night, at 2am - give or take - the house lit up like a Christmas tree.  Bright and noisy with beeps and bloops and bops...  Jay and I jumped out of bed like we heard gun shots.  

LET THERE BE LIGHT!!  

It was comforting and a relief to know it was over.  But I have to admit, I will never forget that little sliver of sadness I felt when the tv lit up and the phone glowed.  

Irene, thank you for the cleanse.  We all needed it.

Things I will no longer take for granted:

Flushing.

Using soap and water together.

My dishwasher.

My pool.

Bright light.

Things I will find the time to stop and do:
 Play outside.

Read on the deck.

Take a walk.

Enjoy the silence.

As I wrap this blog entry, I have to say that I know I missed things.  I missed memories that I will never forget.  This week was not one that will be easily forgotten.
Moments of tension and stress you could cut with a knife.
Moments of laughter and peace and joy that couldn't be properly described.

Pride.  Happiness.  Fear.  Responsibility.  Community.  Love.
It's not something you can understand if you've never lived it.  
It is something that I am grateful I was able to experience.