That got me thinking about how much I love them, love being with them, love their kids...
I like people pretty easily but I don't fall in love with or trust people very easily. I try to hide my insecurities and general goofiness until I am sure of my safety with people.
That got me thinking about how blessed I feel for knowing that I, too, am loved. That my kids are loved. That my family is loved, respected, enjoyed - as we love, respect and enjoy our friends, as well.
That led to thinking about my family. Growing up the youngest of four, I was always very well taken care of. (Yes, and sometimes just getting beat on by 3 older siblings, or over-protected or dumped on - it comes with the package, and the package was well worth it!)
I love my family so much. I am so lucky to have a close relationship with my 2 sisters and brother - and their spouses. Distance doesn't put space between us, and even when a lot of time goes between talks, it doesn't leave a gap in the conversation.
It made me realize that while I do, at times, feel sad for something that is going on with my family or friends. I am grateful for the sadness - because it forces me use my strength that gets me past it. And that strength comes from my heart, my ability to forgive and forget, my desire to love and be loved, my need for peace and never to hold hostility.
I prefer to see the good in people.
I prefer to assume good intentions.
I would rather be disappointed than to just not expect anything at all.
Sometimes, I am disappointed.
Today I was.
But you know what? It won't hurt forever, and at least my disappointment is not with myself, my effort or my heart.
It's hard to explain, so I decided to, once again, Google some quotes to try to capture what I am feeling.
I couldn't find just one, so I thought I would share the few that stuck with me.
"In a full heart there is room for everything,
and in an empty heart there is room for nothing."
"Have a heart that never hardens,
a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts."
"The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers."
"There is no instinct like that of the heart."
"To the world you might be one person,
but to one person you might be the world."
2 comments:
I really enjoyed reading this post.
My thoughts...we all may do something that may hurt someone or we may disappoint someone at one time or another, but hopefully we can learn from our mistakes and be a better person for these mistakes. We also need/want other to forgive us for what we have done and open their hearts again to us. So, when someone may disappoint or hurt me, I try to gather the strenth to move on and not let those things get in the way of loving and forgiving. It takes more energy to be angry than to be happy. Thanks for letting me get that out.
BTW...I noticed you have Danielle Steel's "Sisters" as currently on your night table - that was such a GREAT book!
I believe that having intimate relationships - the pleasure and pain of it all - is a part of having a full, interesting, textured and multi-layered life.
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