Jay and I headed down to "New Shea" yesterday. We have not been to a game in a few years and (obviously) this was our first trip to CitiField.
The new park is awesome. Seriously. Great, great time!

I was anxious about leaving my kids at my parents' house for several hours. "Anxious" because I was worried about my parents having a heart attack or stroke while chasing Wyatt, not because I thought they would do something bad or wrong. That boy is a handful, and my parents are no spring chickens.
But - they had a fabulous time, ran the Grammy & Grambear ragged and fell asleep in my Dad's bed. The 2 of them took over the entire, king-sized bed.
When we got back to pick them up my parents were in very good moods and just laughing and happy recounting their adventures.
My Dad said "I don't wanna do it every weekend, but it was fun!" And today, they lazed around, recovering! (Ok, so did we!)

We drove down and were in the parking lot by 5. We tailgated with some crazy people who were "celebrating Grandpa's life" while they were in NY for his funeral. I peed in the cleanest Port-o-Potty ever and then we went into the game.
Personally, I really tried to eat everything they were selling but I couldn't. There was just too much food.
We drank a few beers, saw a pitcher's duel, a homerun and left before the game went into extra innings. We heard the Mets win (on the Fan) just as we were landing back in Brewster.
Seriously - we had so much fun.

Thank you.
To Vincent, for giving us the tickets and the excuse to be fun and hang out as a couple for so many hours.
And to my Parents, for allowing us to do so.

If a book doesn't catch my attention immediately I tend to put it down and then forget why I picked it up in the first place. That's why I always have several going at the same time.
For example, I picked up The Senator's Wife in Target before we left for Fla.
I knew I had wanted to to read it because I read about it in Entertainment Weekly. But I can't remember more than that, so I trusted my instinct and picked it up.
In Florida, I read the first chapter. I just didn't get back to reading. I napped a lot, though. It was vacation, after all.
It has been a few weeks now and I have found myself thinking about it so I plan to pick i tup again soon.

When we got home, my Amazon order had arrived and I started reading the Dr. Laura book I had been waiting for. I am not a Dr. Laura listener or fan. I have never read a book by her but I don't live under a rock, I knew who she was. And the title was worth taking a look at. So, I began to read. I felt connected right away. I love this book so much and highly, HIGHLY recommend it for all stay-at-home mothers.

I have to caveat here, if you are a working mother - regardless of why - do not pick this book up.
It is very, VERY hard to stomach the VERY one-sided-ness of Dr. Laura.
She firmly and without give, believes that a mother should be home, caring for her children, home and husband. And I have yet to see her yield for any reason other than death of the husband. She does say, though, that daycare is better for children of drug-addicts or whores. Nice of her, eh?

So - I have to say that while I find it hard to see around her sometimes, I also find myself agreeing with her far more than I thought I ever would.

Frankly - I, too, believe that mothers belong at home. I really, really wish that every mommy in the world could stay home and love, nurture, protect and provide from the safe, cozy place of home. It is a dream of mine to always be here. I want to be here now, as my babies are new to the world and everything it offers. And I want to be here later, when they come off the bus with all the stress and fears, pride and excitement of the school ages.

So, that part of Dr. Laura's opinion is very difficult. She sees no reason why a woman, once becoming a mother, would do anything but be home.

There isn't any easy way to have that discussion.
It always ends up as "Working Mom vs Stay-at-Home Mom" and I hate that. It's not a good discussion because it doesn't go anywhere. It goes around and around and around, there is no one way, no answer, no solution, no finality.
Being the best mom you can be, the best way you can, the way that makes you happy and your family happy - that is the right way. Not the way that Dr. Laura says you should.

The last book I am reading right now is Columbine by Dave Cullen. I haven't read past what you can see on Amazon yet. I plan to pick it up after I put Dr. Laura down and finish the Senator. I remember that tragic day so well. I was young, it made a huge impact on me as a person. I seriously didn't read or watch the news for years after that. Years. I'm not kidding.

But, I am borrowing Twilight from Carly tonight, so if that is as quick a read as I hear it is, I will read that first. It is the book for June's Book Club (fun, light, summer read!) so I need to read it by June 15 if I'm gonna read it for that meeting.

The New 'do

(I am not happy with any of these pictures - be it a fat shot, a bad posture shot, droopy eyes or what have you -
but I know you, my readers, love me as I am.)

Got my hair cut today.
It's a much better cut in that it is the actual cut I wanted in the first place.
But, unfortunately, since my first cut was so not what I wanted, the front of my hair is
too short for today's cut to be perfect.
I will say, though, that the woman who cut my hair today did exactly what I was asking for
and therefore, I scheduled my next cut with her.
The front has to grow but basically - I want my hair to look like Kate's from Jon & Kate+8.
I do find it very annoying that I had to refer to Kate to get the style I want.

The same style that Posh Beckham wears.

It annoys me because I basically invented that hair cut when I was in high school.
I wore my hair that way for years, years ago.
And now, as I try to recreate what has always been a fabulous cut on me, it seems lost on people. "People" meaning the woman who owns the salon that I have been going to,
"people" being my hair stylist.
It's not her fault. It's mine. I should have brought a picture.

Anyway.
When I got home, I pulled out my professional hair cutting scissors and
fixed a few random spots that probably didn't need fixing.

Then, Abby asked me to cut her hair.
She has been asking me to.
I have been saying no because I suspect she doesn't really understand that once it's off,
it doesn't come back right away.
And the girl has gorgeous hair. G.O.R.G.E.O.U.S.

However.
I fight with her.
DAILY.
When I have to brush it.

So, I offered her some bangs. She was thrilled. I did it.

Then I wanted to vomit.

My precious, gorgeous baby girl's hair!

All one length, curly and perfect.

I chopped bangs into it!

And I HATE bangs!

Abs - if you should ever read this - know this:
you look absolutely adorable.
And I am not just saying that.
Fortunately for you - you are so stinkin' cute,
a mohawk would look adorable on your precious little face!

Luckily for me, that is so true.
Because, really.
If you've seen Christmas Vacation, then you know -
by cutting bangs into my otherwise perfectly coifed baby girl's head,
I basically gave her a "Ruby Sue".

I will bring her to a professional after the weekend. I swear.

Friends.
It's such a simple word but it has such meaning.

If you like someone, see them around a lot... maybe your kids play together... you don't know each other well but there is a likeness and a happiness when you're together... are you "friends"?
People don't say "acquaintance" so much anymore.
But to call someone a "friend" is a bit of a commitment, isn't it?

Obviously, I can only speak for myself but I have not had very many real, true "friends" in my life.
I have had a few that were and still are my friends - but calling them that almost seems silly. Truly, they are my family.

But now you cross over into the other side of friendship where, while some of my friendships are 20+ years old, they are still just "friends" where I have other friendships that are less than a year old and they somehow hold that same title?

And what defines a friend anyway? Regardless of length of time together, how do you determine who and what make up a real friend for you?

I have my sisters. They are my friends. They love me and trust me and listen to me and allow me to be myself without judgment. And I do the same for them.
But not everyone has that relationship with their sister. I am fortunate to have that two-fold.

I have my BFF, Michele and that friendship has sustained and grown infinitely in the 20+ years we have held on. And with that friendship I have the added bonus of calling her sisters my best friends, as well as her husband.

Let's get back to definition.

My friend Nicole said to me once, "I have different friends that suit different moods of mine. Today I was in the mood for Liz."
I thought that was brilliant. We had a fabulous day. But I haven't seen her since then - and it was warm! Has she not been int he mood for me or me for her? We talk on FB and email and I do truly like and enjoy her. But we are very, very different so maybe that's just it - maybe we're "Summer Friends". We love the beach and doing stuff outside with our kids so maybe I'll see her soon.

I am a stay-at-home mom in a rural community. In my MOMS Club I have become friendly with a lot of different moms in town.

There are a few I really don't like as I am sure there are a few that really don't like me.

There are a few that I had an instant connection with only to find out that I was reading them all wrong and I either have nothing in common or found out they were completely insane.

There are a few that I really like, they really like me but our kids are different ages so our social contact is limited. I could easily call those people "acquaintances" but that is such a cold word. And I really do enjoy these women when we see each other at Book Club or what have you... so, I call them friends. But then I find myself caveating with "well, I don't really know her, I just really like her."

There are many that I see a lot of and I enjoy being with. Our kids play well together and we always have something to talk about. Are they my friends? Could I call them if I needed them? Would I ask hem to babysit one kid if I had to take the other kid somewhere and couldn't bring both?
Probably not.

So - that leaves me with the very small circle of women I have found my comfort zone with.
My "Mom Friends". Why do I have to title them so specifically?
Because I wouldn't know them without the MOMS Club? Maybe.
Because our main similarity is that we grew babies and now care for them? Maybe.
Because I am wary of calling them "friend" and lumping them in with Michele and Rachel? Maybe.

I really have no idea. They really are my friends. I really could call them up and drop my kids off at their house or borrow money for the movie or a cup of milk for one more bottle before I head to the grocery store.
And they could ask/do the same with me.

Same friend, Nicole, once called me "an M&M. you're hard on the outside, warm and sweet on the inside."
Paul "New Guy" once told a new employee at work that I was "tough on the outside, and a big moosh once you get to know" me.

I am not sure that's true. I also recall my high school music teacher telling me that my "life is an open book".
I think that was bit more right on.

I call it like I see it. Sometimes my first impression is right on and I am so proud of myself. Other times I think I can totally read someone and I am way off. Sometimes I fall in love with people right away, other times it takes me a while to warm up. Some people get more of me than they might like, other times I stay guarded. The only constant is my inconsistency.

So - this whole blog was to help me sort out what makes a "friend" but really, I have just been pondering how much I like my friends.
Sitting on the beach of a dirty little pond yesterday made me think "wow, I love this." I was with my 2 favorite "Mom Friends", in the sunshine listening to and watching my kids play with theirs while we caught up on everything from my trip to Deb's new Class to Joanne's skin care regime.
It was peaceful. And comfortable. And we were all ourselves - take us or leave us.

My Day in Pictures
(taken with my new camera!)

I have no idea how to take a "flair" shot, but I tried!

I love how green the trees are and how blue the sky is.
This picture really captures what a gorgeous afternoon it was.
It also really shows how awesome my new camera is.

Wyatt was really happy to have a place to run, climb, slide, fall, swing and scream.

It only took about 17 shots to get a close-up with a smile and open eyes!

Pete.

For Mother's Day, my family bought me a New camera! I love it so much! It's little and it's quick and it takes great shots!
Our first day in Florida, Wyatt fell head first into the pool. I immediately pulled him out. My brand new, Mother's Day, Gift of love and happiness, Camera went in the pool. It was ruined.
I cried and cried. I was so sad that I broke my new camera. I was so sad that my loving husband was so excited to give it to me and now I broke it. It still makes me a little weepy, to be honest.
That afternoon, Jay went to Best Buy and bought me another camera.
Same one.
I love my husband so much. He didn't want me to feel sad.
He did, however, request that next time - I let the boy float for a second while I put my camera down.

As we arrived home from dinner one rainy night in Florida, I heard the very loud, very needy cry of a kitty cat.
Oh no.
I do love kitties.
She was wet. She was adorable and she was trying, very lovingly and sweetly to try to get into our house with us.
Jay took the kids in while I talked to the cat. She was very cute.
Fortunately for Jay (and me, cuz really - who are we kidding, I couldn't bring the cat to CT on the plane), I found out - after knocking on the neighbors' doors - that the kitty lived across the street and had a habit of trying to visit everyone.

Speaking of neighbors - you should have seen these maniacs when I knocked on their door. It was about 8:00. Maybe that's late, but it certainly isn't obscene.
I could sort of see and totally hear all FOUR of them behind the door. There I am, in the rain, nicely dressed, not at all an alarming visitor, waiting while they stare in wonder.
Finally, the man of the house opened the door, we discussed the kitty, I went on my way. No big whoop. But how strange were those people?

Also, they live in Florida. Inland, sort of, too. We were about 35 minutes from the beach. And they didn't have a pool. Granted, the community pool was in sight of the house, but come on. When you live in Florida, using only a community pool is sort of like saying "we don't need AC, they have it in the Clubhouse, we can just go there to cool off."
I would never NOT have a pool in Florida. Maybe that wouldn't have been such a big deal but after the staring and whispering, I decided they were freaks.

Each time we went out, we had to drive down the main road (70) and almost each time we had to drive by this little shack at the corner of 70 and some Avenue. It was hard ot miss since you could be at a red light right in front of it. A tiny, run-down, shady looking house with a giant sign (that didn't light up) - "ASAP Divorce".
Because sometimes you just can't wait, I guess.

While in Florida, we had no batteries in any remotes in the house. We found a few channels and stuck with them. And the kids watched their movies that we packed. (Abby packed for both kids.)
The one movie that Abby watched about 33 times was Disney's Tarzan. We all loved that. One day, I started crying at a particularly sad part. Just tears, I wasn't sobbing or anything, just movie crying - you know you've done it. Abby took one look at me, said "mama, are you crying?" I said yes and she LOST IT! She was hysterical! Crying and sobbing and hugging me... it was so sad and adorable.
Then, after we both calmed down, I started telling Jay what just happened and from listening to me re-tell it, Abby started crying again. So, I did, too.
It was so cute and sad. Re-telling it doesn't do it any justice. You really had to see her precious little face when she saw me crying. Then her little face just crumpling after hearing the story again, only minutes later.
Oh, it was like nothing I have ever experienced. What a sweet, sensitive little lovey-girl she is.

Wyatt's movie of choice was Elmo's Dinosaurs. If I can find the song from it, I will link it here. It will drive you crazy if you listen to it 1839 times in one week. Like we did.

I just wanted to share those few tidbits. I am sure more will come to me and I will post them.
It was a fabulous vacation. It flew by. And usually, we're really ready to go home. This time, it took us by surprise how quickly it was all over.
Now, we're home. Our routine has resumed.
Vacation has a fabulous way of making the routine feel good again, though.

Florida Pics -

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Made on a Mac

Florida Trip
Day Six

Today we spent a lazy morning in the house.
Abby is still running a fever and complaining of a sore throat. She is also very whiny and clingy with very little appetite.

Miss Thing in her Watermelon Jammie dress and Auntie Dink's hair wrap.

And if you know Abby you know that whiny, clingy and no-appetite are NOT her style. So, we layed low in the morning.

We revved it up in the afternoon, though.

Wywy is ready to go!

Headed north to Tampa to visit an old friend.
Scott got married (eloped) and bought a house since our last visit to Fla so we went up to meet the wife and see the house.

I am so sorry I didn't take a picture of Jay with his oldest and best friend, nor did I take a picture of the happy couple. Sucks when you miss those obvious shots, ya know?
But - their home is absolutely gorgeous - right out of Better Homes & Gardens. And Jen was a gracious and lovely hostess. Abby really liked her and I suspect it was mutual. I look forward to having more time to get to know Mrs. Newman.

We also stopped in to see Scott's parents. They were happy to see us and that was mutual, as well. Scott's Dad had a stroke and he is in a wheel chair but aside from that he was the same happy, welcoming guy I remembered. It was really nice to have the time to make that visit.

Friends and Family are important.
And taking the time to remember and recognize that is what life is all about.

After our Tampa visit we went back south and stopped in St. Pete to see my parents. They have a 7th floor apartment overlooking Boca Ciega Bay (I think that's what it is, it's a Bay, either way) in the same complex that my grandparents' apartment was my entire life (and still is, even though my grandparents aren't in it anymore).

Jay and my Dad looking out at the water from the balcony.

We visited for a bit and then headed out to Crabby Bill's for dinner. Jay and I were aching for raw oysters and grilled Grouper sandwiches.
Crabby's did not disappoint and neither did that Florida weather as we watched lightning pierce St. Pete Beach while getting drenched in an absolute sky-opening downpour. Gotta love it.
We purchased a great souvenier photo ("only $10 for 2!!") that I will scan in when we get home. At least we got that shot!

We drove home in the rain (we would literally drive out of it and watch it catch up to us before we got out of it again to wait for it again.) We stopped at McDonald's so that Abby and Mommy could pee. ("Look, mama! They sell Icecream here!" Cutie. She has no idea what McD's is and I love that.)

I wrapped up this night watching the 2-hour Season Finale Event of Grey's Anatomy.
And seriously - not since I was a high school girl in love with Dylan while trying to be Brenda have I loved a television show so much... I cannot believe I have to wait until the weather is turning cold again to find out how this is all going to work itself out... Crazy.

So, tomorrow night at this time I will be packing up, cleaning up and wrapping up this most fabulous week of relaxation, resting, sisterly bonding, husband and children quality time, beach, pool & eating heaven. I doubt I will blog. I will be returning, slowly but surely to my wound-up-too-tight life of organization and micro-management.
But I am so glad I blogged each day up to now. I am so glad I captured each day's memories.

And I am so glad my husband made this trip happen. Because without him.
Well... I wouldn't have any money so I couldn't have come. hee hee
Thanks, babe. Love you.

Florida Trip
Day Five

Not a lot of pictures today. We just hung around the house. We were pooped!
It's been non-stop action around here.
Also, Abby had a low fever (99.5) and was telling me that her throat hurt.
Her little cousin has a sore throat so I am wasn't sure if she really felt that way or heard her Auntie Dink talking about it. But you can't argue with a fever.
So, I gave her some Tylenol and we hung out.

Worth it.
Totally.
We just chilled. The Four of Us.
Enjoyed our little Family Unit.

And in the later half of the day, we took our bathing suits off and put some clothes on.
We saw a fabulous, Florida-style t rain storm followed by a beautiful rainbow.
And we headed out to dinner with the fam.
My sister and bro-in-law treated, which was awesome - THANK YOU!
And we kept it simple by going to Red Lobster.
The thing is, there is nothing "touristy" about Bradenton, FL -
to get a good, local joint would require a half hour in the car.
We just didn't have that tonight.
So, we hit the Lobstah. Which was fun, cuz we don't go to RL at home.
And you can't beat those biscuits.

Pre-Dinner Handsome-ness.

My sweet girl packed up some toys in her backpack for her & Wywy
in case they got bored at the restaurant.

The rainbow that Abby spotted. It really was gorgeous.

The post-afternoon-storm sky.
If you've ever been to Florida then you know that the weather is
"hot with a chance of thunderstorms in the afternoon."

How freaking gorgeous is my nephew?

Last time we went to dinner Abby sat amidst her big cousins
and only after we got home did she tell us that she wanted to be closer to mommy and daddy. Our hearts broke.
So, this time, I sat next to her and Jay sat right across from us, next to Wyatt.
When I tucked her in, she said "you sat next to me at dinner, Mama. I'm glad."
Kids really break your heart.
And warm it.
Often at the same time.

Way Back Wednesday

Mother's Day Edition
Part 2

All of my love and congratulations to Ryan and Jess.

Florida Trip
Is it really
Day FOUR
already!?!?

Wywy on the beach.
What a gorgeous beach day.
Tough, though. Taking kids to the beach is not easy.
Lots of stuff.
Lots of tiny people to watch.
Lots of sand.
We didn't last too long but it was fun.

Daddy with Abby in the waves.
This beach had very little waves.
The Gulf is not known for surfing,
but this beach was known for being especially tame and "family-friendly".


Back at the house, in the pool with Auntie Frannie & Leenie.
Abby is quite taken with her Auntie "Franyas" & her big cousins.
We all love watching the kiddos together.
As much as I love the girlies, I have to admit that having our boys together is very, very special.


And we prepared a Royal Feast.
Thanks to my husband who "cooked up" the idea.
My man knows how to throw a party - and how to go on vacation.

Florida Trip
Day Three

Florida Trip
Day Two

Happy Mother's Day!

Cousins & Dunkin'.

Look out, Uncle Jay!

Big-Boy Jamie enjoying his "Lollipop".

And, once again, Peace reigns over the Kingdom.

Florida Trip

Day One

Wywy's first plane ride (Abby's third, not that she remembers).
Waking up at 4:30, taking off at 8:00 proved to be too much for his little body.
He knocked out somewhere over Delaware.

**Worth Noting**
As we stepped off the gate and into Tampa International I was feeling very nostalgic.
I said to Jay, "it's weird to get here and my parents (or grandparents) aren't here to pick me up."
But I didn't get to finish my sentence because, Surprise! There they were!
My Auntie Frannie landed a few minutes before us so they came up to our gate to greet us.
I was so surprised and happy!

On the drive to Bradenton! We have a Rav4, a surprisingly roomy, small SUV.
Abby fell asleep a minute after this picture, Wyatt hung in there.

We wasted no time.
Dropped our stuff, stripped down and jumped in.

This, my friends, is why he works as hard as he does.
Cheers!

As I prepare to embark on our first week-long family-of-four vacation, I am finding myself with less excitement and more anxiety.
Will it be more of the same, but in Florida?
Or will it actually feel like a vacation - "away from it all"?
This is not a complaint or a "poor me" post - just an observation.
Is the life I have chosen, as a stay-at-home-mom, not one rich with vacations, relaxations and getaways?

My husband works hard, every day, more than 8-10 hours a day. In addition to his hectic work-life, he goes to college at night and had a house to take care of while also making time to be "daddy" and "honey".
I, too, work hard, I know. I'm not comparing. There is no comparison. I am "mommy" 24 hours a day. I don't punch in or out, I don't get annual reviews or salary increases (or salary, at all). I am my own boss but most of my day is controlled by other forces (namely Abigail & Wyatt). So, if this is my choice, perhaps I need to just give in and know that come September and then in the years to come after that - I will have all the "alone time" & "relaxation" one could ask for.

I have never had any intention of "returning to the work force" once the kids are in school. I plan to clean my own house, volunteer at school, do more in the community, be here more for my husband. Because if you have kids, especially small ones, you know how hard it is to be everything for everyone. So, in these early years, pretty much everyone gets sacrificed for the good of the little ones.
Then, I can let go a little of "mommy" and grab hold more of "wife".

Anyway - we're packing up. The neighborhood is "on watch" and the bags are packed.
Unlikely I will be Blogging considering there's a Hot Tub in our House in Fla!!

So, enjoy your week without me. I will overload you with pictures when I return!

Way Back Wednesday
Happy Mother's Day Edition

This classic shot was taken at the Catskill Game Farm in 1980(?)
as my mommy was saving me from the vicious, killer lambs.
{Look behind us! Deborah is battling them back, too!)
Thanks, Mom.

This is my mother-in-law holding my husband, 1976.
Cute, huh?
We have it in a frame on our mantle.


Happy Mother's Day to all of my mommy friends.

What an amazing & blessed gift it is to be a mother.

My name is Liz. I am addicted to shopping.
I am aware of and honest about this.
But what I am less honest about and becoming more aware of is -
my addiction to shopping bags.
Today, as I head out to the mall for my last "pre-vacation shop",
I carry with me 2 reusable totes.
One is from Gap (hooray!) and one is from Food Everyday magazine.
They are the only 2 I could summon up the courage to carry in public
(outside of the grocery store).
I have been using the reusable bags in the grocery store for a long time now
but this will be my first mall trip where I will not say
"do you have a shopping bag?"
Wish me luck.

Yesterday was so fun... I love my family.