(Written yesterday, New Year's Eve morning)
As I sit and watch the snowfall, Wyatt constant with the "ma-maaaa" for no apparent reason other than he can, sipping my eggnog coffee and getting ready to ring in the New Year... it got me thinking-
I had a very nice day yesterday.
We went to my Auntie Carol's house for Christmas. I hadn't seen my brother and his family yet and it was nice to see them. My niece is getting so big and her little personality is really taking flight.
My aunt has a way about her that makes Paninis and Tomato soup feel gourmet on paper plates.
I adore my aunt. And it occurred to me, after many years of feeling guilty about over-liking my aunt, worrying that my mom felt jealous - it occurred to me that, maybe, my nieces adore me. Maybe, the love you feel for your mom is one thing - a constant, comfortable, predicatable love. But the love and attention you get from you aunt - while it is constant - it can be unpredicatble because you don't live with her, you don't know her as well and each thing she does or says is new and exciting. And different.
Different fromt he way your mom loves you - and different from the way your mom shows you.
My aunt and uncle have a beautiful home. It is a center-hall colonial but the staircase turns and has a landing, it doesn't shoot straight down.
Each bit of wall connects with intricate moldings to the ceiling. Shelves and bookcases are built in, not leaning on. The walls and ceilings are stenciled, not papered or popcorned.
And the decorating is meticulous.
I would say, in a sarcastic, cynical tone "it helps that her boys are grown and out of the house" but, actually - their house was like that even when we were kids.
I wonder if my fascination with my aunt (it started when I was a kid, it's not a new thing) was preserved because there were a lot of years when she not a part of my life. I wonder if my childhood adoration was kept fresh because she cut out when I was in my teens and cut back in in my mid-twenties.
Maybe one day I will dig down deep and Blog that one, but likely not - it's personal and some things, family drama details and sex lives, for example, simply don't get discussed here on The Raft.
Why Did I Ever Stop Writing On This Blog?
2 years ago
4 comments:
Hi Liz,
I hope you had a great New Year's Day! Here is the info on the camera: http://tinyurl.com/a38m5x
They have it in pink camo! The pic quality isn't great, but it gets the job done. Pretty fun. I just don't like the placement of the button for shooting pics. Kinda awkward. Best to you and yours. Hey--aren't you in the Hebron area?
Allison
Liz - this post resonated with me. You know that we lost our mom at a young age - but I was very close to my mother's aunt - my great aunt. We just connected and I have my moments of feeling guilty for the relationship that we had after my mother died. I always felt my mother was looking down at me, upset that I had "forgotten" her. In a way I did. Her memory is certainly more distant than that of my aunt's. But I have neither now - and should just look at it for what it was - two wonderful gifts from God to be treasured in its own way. That's how it should be for you. It is what it is.
Thanks, Allison - going to check it out right now!
And Gini - I am glad that my post touched you - so many of yours have touched me before.
Right on, Gini. And Liz, I think you've got it nailed by relating it to the way your nieces feel about you. It's just a different kind of love.
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