Recognition.

One of the struggles I have had as a stay-at-home-mom has been my occasional feeling that my work goes uncredited.  Like, even though I am exhausted at the end of the day/week/year, I have nothing to really show for it, nothing to "prove my worth".

I know you can easily come back at that statement with "your children being happy and healthy are the proof of your hard work"...  blah blah blah...  I would say the same thing to you if you were feeling down.  We all know that, some days it's just hard to feel that.

There is no one to blame for this feeling.  It is just a feeling, no one makes them happen.

My husband is amazingly supportive and loving.  He showers me with praise and adoration and he does not go unappreciated.  I thank him, too.  We are a good team.

Nonetheless, I have to admit that I am at times, at odds with my choice to give up "earning" for "caring".  

I care for the house, the kids, the husband, his career, the school and town stuff...  and I do care.  A lot.  And I take pride in my volunteer work, my involvement with the kids' school days, friends and activities.  

I have never had any intention of throwing myself into a new career once the kids "get bigger".  This is my career, this is my life.

Watching the stray kid here and there, subbing a few days a week at school, scouring sales for the best deals and never paying full-price - that is stuff I do to throw a little ching back into the pot sometimes...  I like doing those things.  Those things require little more of me than I am willing to give and those things are also voluntary.  If I get called to work at school I don't have to go.

My husband has to to go to work.  All the Time.

So, I don't complain.  Not too loudly.

We have had a few weekends when Mommy has had to disappear for several hours.  To the mall, to the gym, to Kohls - what have you.  Mommy needs solitude sometimes.

Then, along comes a day like today - Tuesday March 27th - and all of my worry and need for measure are sated.

Today was report card day.  And I am walking on air.  I am a sappy, goopy mess.

Pride.  Love.  Pride...  I am just a happy mama.

I know it's about them, not me - obviously I know that - but the pride I am getting from their progress far outweighs anything ever handed to me by a manager at any number of the jobs I have had in previous lives.  Words like "well liked by her classmates" and "a natural leader at play".  "25 out of 25" and "14 out of 14".  "Cooperative and Polite".  "Kind and Helpful".  "Fun".  "Energetic".  "Happy".

"Focused and Enthusiastic".

No percentage above average or salary increase ever made me beam and cry and just over-the-top melt in the way that these pieces of paper that came home today have.

So.  I'm doing something right.  I have been recognized, indirectly, for my diligence.  So, today - I will hold my head a bit higher, worry a bit less and hope that should the day come that a report card is anything less than fabulous, I don't hang myself by my own apron strings.

I Love a Rainy Night

Spring - I am ready for rain boots and mud puddles, my friends.


There is Easter candy calling to me from the locked closet.  It's all ready.  Amazon will be sending the DVDs I ordered **in time for Easter**  to cap off the baskets left behind by the Bunny (please, please, please).
Hotel reservations are booked.
Mets tickets are purchased (first MLB game for the kiddos, Easter-Eve at 1:00 against the Braves - awesome.)
Flowers are popping up, crocuses have bloomed, spring projects are lining up.
I am so ready for Spring.  And with this weather, I am pretty much ready to open the pool.

Planning our yearly Easter trip to NYC always gets me excited.  I do it almost immediately after Christmas.  I put the decorations away and plan Abby's birthday party then I plan Easter.  I love a trip.  I really love a weekend away.  It's just the right amount of time - 2 days then Home again.

I do not think that Ellen's JCPenney commercials are funny.  Ever since I couldn't get through her book, I am liking her less and less...

Francine on American Dad is the greatest TV Mom ever.


Flip-Flops are back.  The season is here and there is no going back now.  If it snows next week, I will be cold, but I will be in my flips.


Colton is gone.  I can enjoy Survivor again.
Or it will be boring as all hell.  Only time will tell.

I Am Thankful for Spring.

I have mentioned before that I resent being assigned a season for thankfulness.
I try to be grateful for all the greatness that fills my life every day.

Today in a PTA meeting the guest speaker was sharing his wisdom and insight about our children's childhoods and balancing home and school and activities and recreation.
He discussed the partnership that is fostered between parents and teachers and really dove deep into how it should work and how it should blossom and grow and be such a bond that really enriches our children's lives.
When asked what we, the parents in the audience, would like to see from our administration and teachers not one of us could say a thing.
Every thing he had listed, everything he had mentioned?  Covered.
So, because I hate silence, I said "I honestly believe that our admin and teachers do all of that and more.  I have trust and confidence and respect for each one of those ladies and the teachers that work for them.  I am so happy and so grateful."
I, of course, choked up.
Then another mom said "I just try to take time each day, or even once a week, to reach out and say 'thank you'".  And she started crying.
Then another mom said that she was "a Military Wife and she will miss the school, parents and community when she inevitably moves again" and I am pretty sure I saw a tear in her eye, too.

How freakin' awesome is that?!
Our PTA meeting was a Love Fest!

So, I am kicking off Spring with another season of thanks...  and today I am thankful for Gilead Hill School and all that comes with it.
Our admin staff, our teachers, our parents and community - the kids - it's all part of the "system" and I am so thankful to be a cog in that complex.

Fives.

5 General Things that Drive Me Nuts-

1. "Thanks anyways."
2. Bad posture.
3. Brand new mothers.  (Ironic.  I know.)
4. Women who talk trash about their husbands.
5. Drivers who don't use their turn signals.

5 General Things that Make Me So Happy-

1. My one crocus has bloomed.
2. The 10-day forecast is all sunny 60's.
3. My book club.
4. Abby's toothless grin.
5. Fresh flowers in my kitchen.
   
   5 TV Shows that Continue to Entertain Me-

1. Grey's
2. The Voice
3. GCB
4. 2 Broke Girls
5. Survivor

5 TV Shows that I Continue to Watch even though I Hate Myself for it-

1. The Biggest Loser
2. Parenthood
3. True Blood
4. Ellen
5. SVU

5 Things I Do Not Miss About Facebook-

1. Passive-Aggressive jabs that no one else understands.
2. "Checking In"
3. Zynga games that sucked time out of my life that I will never get back.
4. Bragging.
5. Inappropriate photos of you.

It Snowed!

It snowed all day yesterday.
I went to the gym in the morning (I'm a runner now, ya know), hit the bank, got everything done just in time for the flurries to start coming down.  School was early dismissal which canceled PM Kindergarten so our afternoon was cozy and snow-covered!
I made soup in the Crock-Pot.  Had a nice dinner of steak with sautéed portabellas and spinach casserole.  Read stories and tucked the kids in early.  Both kids were asleep by 7:30 and right now, at 8:15am, Abby is still asleep.

Today my day will be relatively easy.  I have laundry to finish, floors to sweep and a few errands to run.  But the trick to today is that it will be the first couple of hours of alone time that I've had in 3 weeks.
I am not complaining about 10 days in Florida.  I am not complaining about babysitting.  I am not complaining about spending time in school with my kids.  In fact, I didn't even notice, really, until I started to think about what my day was bringing.
I have not had time alone since Thursday, February 9th.  And I am going to really enjoy the silence this afternoon.

I am watching Survivor this season.  You might have figured that out from my previous post of outrage.  It's better than Biggest Loser, the show I force myself to watch even though it's full of completely unlikable, fat, whiney losers.
I am watching a lot of shows this season, actually.  And recording even more.
I love The Voice.  Blake, Adam, CeeLo and Christina are the greatest foursome to hit tv...  ever.  (ok, can't think of a good comparison.)

There are several shows that started and when I read about them they sounded great but I have yet to watch them.  I am waiting to see if they are worth it.  If they're all hype and turn out to be crap, I will just delete them.
One that I recorded and haven't watched yet is Once Upon a Time.  And from everything I have read and heard it looks like it is going to be great.
I am recording Smash and Grimm, too.  Neither one looks like something I will ever wind up watching, though.
And I was excited about PanAm and recorded that, as well, but I think it was already canceled.
I have The River on dvr, keep thinking Jay will watch it with me but I think his tv-dance card is full right now.  We are watching Alcatraz, though and that's turning out to be pretty cool.  Only about 3 weeks in, but so far so good.
I am really excited about the new show, Good Christian Bitches.  I think it starts this week and unlike most of these others, I will be watching live.
Stand-bys that never fail to provide and I hope never leave me include Grey's, Parenthood and the newest "old stand by", 2 Broke Girls.
Jay wants to watch Awake.  I set the dvr but not sure I care.
As much as I like Chelsea Handler, her show really sucks.

Reading through this you would really think that all I do is watch tv...  but I actually only watch it at night, and generally ff through commercials.  I have this deep feeling of shame, like we're not supposed to admit how much we like tv.  And in addition to this stuff, I can't tell you how many PBS specials I don't admit to enjoying or how many trashy/informative cable shows I watch.  Whether I admit it or not, the tv is pretty much always on in our house.  Sometimes 2 or 3 of them!