The Raft

This week I am obsessed with Baby #3.
I can't explain it.
Nothing special going on...  nothing I can say "I am feeling this way because of X".

I just know that Wyatt is about to turn 2.
TWO.
And he talks, and walks.

And I know that Abby is loving her school.
And in 2 years, Abby will be in kindergarten and Wyatt will be in Preschool.

That doesn't mean they won't need me anymore.  They will.  And I'll still be here.
But it reminds me that time flies.

And when I see my babies, getting bigger and smarter and more independent.
And better and better and better...  it makes me long for the day when I nursed them, co-slept, wore them in a sling or Baby Bjorn (ok, Jay did the Bjorn thing, not me) and just held them constantly.
I haven't forgotten the sleepless nights or the endless crying.
But I have forgiven it.  Because I know now that it goes by so quickly.

I knew that with Wyatt.  I knew, after Abby, that the dark, exhausted, lonely nights happen for only a brief period of time, in the scheme of things.
So, I had a lot more patience for it with Wyatt.  I held him a little closer, a little longer, a little tighter.  I didn't stress about doing it right - or about getting him into his crib and getting myself out of his room.
I knew he would get it, and he did.
And now, less than 2 years after he was born - we're all sleeping soundly, night after night - and we have been.

Abby slept through the night at 3 months.  For Wyatt, it was about 6 or 7 months.  Please.  How many things do we endure for a few months with so much less of a return?

And knowing is more than half the battle, isn't it?  I think we get better with age.  I know I was a calmer, happier mama with Wyatt that first year than I was with Abby.  I was a crazy woman with Abby.

And I am a really good mama.
I really love my babies so much.  I love being their mama.  And I love watching the man that I love be their daddy.

So - maybe 2 is enough.  Most of the time I think it is.
Two perfectly gorgeous, healthy, active and amazing kids.
But this week - I am really aching for 3.

Or 4.