I feel like my blog entries have been few and far between lately.  And that feeling leaks into my brain in the form of guilt mixed with OCD.
It's not guilt in the sense of "you, my loyal readers - both of you - miss me and need me desperately".  It is more like my nagging, obsessive, self demanding regular entries from myself.  And when I fail at the unrealistic hope of a daily entry, I feel guilty.

Anyway...  we've been busy.
We have soccer, yard work, housework, school, April vacation took up some time, packing, doctor appointments, exercising, cooking, shopping, working and just generally being.
Am I telling you anything that you don't know?
No.
Are you (most of you) doing the same darn thing day in and out?
Yes.
So maybe that's where I've been.  I've been entrenched in the day-to-day, in blissful routine, without deep thoughts, without controversy or drama, without anything really notable to blog about.
And that is totally ok with me.

Being too busy living life to write about it?
Priceless.

Sometimes, some people just have a way about them that gets under your skin.

They say you can't be annoyed or can't dislike or can't be utterly and exhausting-ly disgusted unless you actually, deep down somewhere, care about the person.  If you didn't care, you wouldn't...  care.  Right?

I guess that makes sense.  Often, I find myself wishing so hard that I did not, in fact, care.  I wish so badly that I was able to ignore, rise above and carry on - as I have become so good at advising others to do.

You know the saying "you get more flies with honey"?  Well, I don't know about that.  Because these negative forces in my life, they certainly occupy a lot of space in my head sometimes. 

Is it arrogance on my part?  My absolute disbelief that I could be so disliked? 
Is it insecurity?  My unending desire to be liked by everyone? 
Is it my need for acceptance and approval?

Is any of that so different from everyone else?

I used to think so.  I used to think I was creepy and insecure and I kept those sorts of thoughts to myself.  As I get older, though, I realize that everyone is creepy and insecure to a degree.  We all want to be accepted and loved.

So, when I find myself at the receiving end of the sort of negativity, passive-aggression or utter rudeness, I feel hurt.  Then I feel angry.  Then I go numb.
Then, I mistake the numbness for the previously discussed "not caring" and feel like I'm finally over something.
Then, WHAM.  The cycle begins again.
I feel like Suart Smalley sometimes.

But, it will pass.  I will remind myself of the blessings in my life.  I will busy myself with the joys of my day-to-day.  And I will find myself surrounded by loving, supportive, fun, exciting, caring, understanding, enjoyable people - the friends and family that I choose to surround myself with because I love them and I know that they love me.  They accept me.  They care about me.  And in order to do that, you have to start with yourself.  So, I remind myself again...

Weight Watchers Premium Ice Cream Cups are the greatest thing since...  well, since I could gorge on real ice cream.  And while I still could, I really shouldn't, so I'll stick to these delicious little 2 point bitches.

So, I am trying not to spend money.  We want to buy a new house, that's a pretty good incentive to save, right?  But, as I am packing stuff up, throwing stuff away, organizing it, dreaming of where it will go in my new house, I am getting totally excited and thinking about what new, shiny things I would love to have for my new house (that we haven't purchased or even begun seriously hunting for yet.)
How did I squelch the urge to shop?
I started a registry at Bed, Bath and Beyond!
Yupper!  I went and registerd for a Housewarming Party!  Of course, I don't expect anyone to buy me anything, but what fun!  I highly, SERIOUSLY recommend it for the equally budget-strapped shopaholics out there!
I might just register at Pottery Barn, too!

I have decided on my next weight loss goal.  18 pounds by my 34th birthday.  That is almost 12 weeks from now so not a very lofty goal but it's not easy to drop it as quickly anymore. 
So, I have to change a few things that I'm doing...  and I haven't really decided what those things will be yet.
Maybe packing, living a hectic lifestyle of house-hunting and house-showing, warmer weather, stress and a little good old-fashioned starvation will help.
Or, maybe I can get my fat ass to the gym more than twice a week.
Funny how less than 4 times a week, preferably 5 or 6, and I feel like a fat, lazy slob.  When, previously, the very idea of going to the gym made me want to crawl under the covers midday for a nap.

It's hard to lose weight during a holiday.
Last week, leading up to Easter weekend, I went to the gym every day.  I ate very well and exercised and drank my water.  I knew I was going to eat and drink like a rock star through the city so I wanted to do what I could ahead of time.
When we got home I continued to eat like a rock star...  or, perhaps like the fat girl I truly am.  I kept saying "gotta get to the gym tomorrow" but one day led to the next and I went a whole week of not getting to the gym.

I was legitimately busy.  We had carpet installed over 3/4 of our house.  That required a lot of packing and prepping.  Seriously - you try to get everything off the floor of all of your bedrooms and your living room.  Also, keep your kids and two dogs out of your way and the installers way.  Also, get to the gym and take care of your personal dietary needs.
It's only 2 days worth of an excuse but I managed to stretch it out for the week.
I actually blogged a whole long bit about it on my cell phone but then I couldn't figure out how to transfer the "Notepad" to my Book and I wasn't about to re-type the whole thing so you'll have to settle for this abridged version.

The bottom line is this - I have got to back to business.  I have lost more than 20 pounds.  I have dropped 2 pants sizes.  My boobs are bigger than my gut...  for the first time in 4 years.  If I allow this slippery slope to slide me any further, I will gain that - and then some - right back and this will all be for naught.  And I can only imagine what that might do to my mental health!  LAWD!  I am crazy enough!

My husband already blogged the mood very well, so I will stick to the facts...

American Museum of Natural History...

  

 

John's Pizza for dinner...

A good, snuggly night's sleep...  (well, a few hours anyway - before they were both in our bed!)

Easter Breakfast...  Room Service Style!



Egg Hunt at Auntie Frannie & Uncle Carlos'...

In short - it was a weekend of family, tradition, good (really good!) food, memories made and remembered and so much love.
I don't have the words.  I just love my family so much.  I am so blessed, so grateful and so, so happy.