All I Wanna Do

Since I have been back on Facebook I find that I read more. I read articles and essays (those are my favorite, like a blog post but only one, so it's an essay.  I think. That's what I call them anyway. An article is by a writer, for a paper or a magazine, right?  But an essay is by you. Or me. More interesting, usually.) Anyway. 

I read xoJane and HuffPost and Slate and whatever someone shares if it looks interesting.

I like hearing from people. 

People have neat things to say. 

I dislike pictures of things that people didn't take, with quotes that that person didn't say (and really, we can't be sure that Ghandi said all that shit, either, people, get real). 

And please, don't even get me started on Minions. 

I love the Despicable Me movies. They're adorable and funny and heartwarming. But the exploitation of the Minion on Facebook and the Internet in general is absurd. 

But I do enjoy quotes that people relate to, share and with the share, give a little bit of themselves. For example - you post a picture that someone else posted with a quote that really touches you and share a thought about why you love it - I love that. But if you share a post of a minion who hates things and add no value to it or how you relate to it or it makes you feel - I "hide" that shit. And if that's all you're posting - I will "hide" you. Chill out. Smile. Life is good. Calm down with the Minion shit. 

But I digress. 

Facebook has opened a door to all these great articles that I was not aware of without Facebook. 

And recently I read an article a woman wrote to her unborn niece. In it she wrote "don't live your life with guilt as your guide". Don't do things because you "should". Do things because they feel good, are good, do good. Don't do things you don't want to do because someone made you think you should. 

Now. That's a broad generalization. 

Kids should go to school.

Despite Wyatt's bargaining and reasoning and straight up pleading - he should, he has to, he needs to go to school. I won't tell you I have not considered home schooling him. I have. I have had moments of pure mothering power where, despite my earlier mentions of school being a stay-at-home-mom's reward - or my inclination to day drinking at the very idea of having my children home with me, with their educations being my responsibility, all year long, every day, all day, all year - despite all of that - I have had very clear, conscious thoughts and considerations about homeschooling. 

Moving is tough. It's hard to get kids who were used to being big fish in a small pond used to being anonymous fish in a ginormous pond. 

And Wyatt is a little guy. Young for his age and a very sensitive human. So yeah, I have actually had moments when I have said to myself "Liz. You got this. You can homeschool him. And protect him. We will play sports and enroll in playgroups and socialize accordingly. We will adventure and learn and live and love and do all of those things that the adventurous moms you read about do. We can homeschool and create an amazing environment for the kiddos."  

Then, that passes and I go back to "Wyatt, you have to go to school. You have to do your job. It is mommy's job to get you to school every day so you can learn and grow and socialize and become a successful part of the community and world we live in. And if you don't go, Wyatt, mommy will be arrested and go to jail."

Yeah. Because, really, I'm not a homeschooler. I'm a wannabe day drinker looking for any excuse. 

So, back to the "should do" stuff. 

Our kids do a lot of activities. 

When we left Hebron mid-spring we missed spring sports - softball and baseball. And Abby missed her dance recital. So in California we had no commitments aside from Jay's job and the kids' school. It was lovely. Every night we had a nice dinner. Every night we were together. Every weekend we went to the beach with daddy. After school the kids and I had the entire afternoon ahead of us, aside from homework - nothing to do!  By the end of the summer we could admit we were all a little bored. Well, 3 of us were. We were looking forward to school starting and softball and baseball fall seasons and dance. We were even adding swimming to our lineup. (We didn't, though, because ball games would have interfered). 

When school was approaching, registrations started rolling in and we signed up with anxious anticipation about being busy again. 

Now. We're busy again. 

And you know what?  I hate it. 

When we have early dismissal (every Wednesday), I want to go to the beach. But we have softball and baseball. Add that to homework and you don't have any free time after school during the week. 

When Friday rolls around, I wanna go to the beach with a picnic dinner and stay up late watching a movie and sleep in on Saturday and do nothing all weekend except maybe go for a bike ride or a movie or out to eat or to the beach (again! it doesn't get old, friends!). But we have games. Double headers even. 

I know for sure if I said to Wyatt "do you want to go to baseball?" he will absolutely say "nah".   He would much rather ride his skateboard, play Minecraft or shoot his Nerf guns. He would rather go to the park or do absolutely nothing at all. He does not care about baseball beyond having his turn at bat and eating sunflower seeds. 

When Abby contemplates her schedule she really hates anticipating being busy but really enjoys her practices and her dance classes and her school day. She is so easy and happy and peaceful (mostly, not always). 

But today she announced to us that she "really wants to focus on her singing career" so maybe instead of sports she would prefer voice lessons alongside her dance schedule. 

Amen and alleluia I say. I do not have to assistant coach her future voice teacher nor do I need to buy her $683 worth of gear. 

So, in this land of "so much to see and do" I do not plan to continue with the "shoulds". Don't wanna play baseball?  Fine. Don't wanna play softball?  Great. 

We have to work - all the varieties of it. But our after work time is our own. 

Feel good about singing, dancing, acting, Nerfing, Minecrafting and watching tv?!  Done. 

Wanna hit the beach or head up to Malibu or see what's swimming off shore down in Long Beach?  Maybe we want to see how LA lights up for the holidays...  We have time. We have spirit. We love an adventure. 

Life is good. Life is happy. It is what it is, not what it should be.