I felt so weird giving up what I had always known as home. Leaving NY felt so foreign... And faaaar,
And my family is really into being from NY.
Fact: anyone from NY (regardless of region) is REALLY INTO being from NY.
I remember one Friday night at auntie Frannie's. I was flying somewhere. Or just got home from somewhere. And everyone else was getting ready for bowling. There was pizza.
I was standing in the dining room, telling a story and Grampy interrupted and said "where the hell are you from? I can't understand a word you're saying!"
At the time, I was embarrassed. Now, I realize that was pretty funny.
Everywhere I go people ask me where I'm from. In CT people think I'm from the streets of Manhattan. And put a bottle of wine in me, I sound like it!
In NY, I definitely sound like I'm from CT.
I moved here in 2001. I spent the first section of my life in NY. The section I had no choices and no opinion. I loved it. I'm hardly complaining. Being from NY is an honor that few can understand. Even those that are from NY and act like it is no biggie - it becomes a biggie when you no longer live there.
And not only did I live on a wonderful, storybook style street with a lake and good friends and a fabulous childhood next to my grandparents and surrounded by cousins... I also lived only 1 hour out of the city and with my city cousins right there. I truly grew up with the best of both worlds.
Then - at 25 - I moved to Connecticut.
As a New Yorker, we didn't much care for Connecticut. And still, I don't know what the state has to openly brag about. There is no major sports team. No good city. Even UConn gets annoying after one too many women's basketball stories.
But, much like being a New Yorker is something you can only really understand once you've left, as I plan to leave CT, I am becoming aware of all the little charms that CT offers that I will miss.
I don't think I took them for granted, because if I did, how could I recall them and share them with you, but as I pack up, I want to pay them their due and share them here, for all to enjoy.
First of all. Hartford. I love Hartford. My office in Hartford was so cool. It was professional. It had a parking garage. Men in suits and people "doing lunch".
I was so young and so naive and if I ever do it again, will be so much better at it.
Hartford offers amazing food and nightlife and a beautiful old theater.
Yes, it's dangerous and there are streets you do not want to walk down.
And as the restaurants and offices lost their flair for me, the emergency room at the children's hospital became a regular event and the Dunkin Donuts right across the street became a welcome beacon in times of distress.
Dunkin Donuts! Oh my goodness. My love for a medium hot, extra skim will never be matched. I have tried others. Not hot enough. Too strong. Too weak. DD is my only love, after home, coffee.
Diversity. Not in my town, duh. Everyone here is quite white. And if they're not, they're probably adopted. But I mean across the state. You can go from West Hartford and Hartford to Hebron and Glastonbury to Bridgeport and New Haven. And (here's a little state secret, NY) there's even a whole county that none of us even give a shit about!!
Imagine!!! Fairfield County exists in a bubble, basically. So rich. So spoiled. So damn busy and into itself. And no one even cares!!! NY hates Fairfield County. If we're being honest here, that little section of this tiny state has basically ruined our state for all of New Yorkers everywhere. And you know what, the rest of CT hates it, too!
(I won't lie. I would live there in a heartbeat.)
I like how close CT is to Boston. We could do a day in Boston. We don't need to plan a weekend around it.
When Abby was a baby I left her with Grammy and headed up to Fenway with the whole family. Led by uncle Kenny, obviously, I remember very little of it. Mix "new mom brain" with probably 30 Coors Lights. I actually have vague memories of the ladies room. But really, it was so much fun. And we did it in a day. I think Gina has pictures. I do not.
Finally. And my most favorite thing ever about anywhere. Our beaches.
Say what you will about Rhode Island or Long Island or anywhere else. They are all great. I love them all. But the kids and I - we packed lunch and a bag and a couple of boogie boards and spent countless hours, months worth of days in the sand.
My very first beach trip as a mommy was to Hammonasset in Madison. Jody invited Abby and I to join her and Quinn and Kieran and it was an amazing day.
It opened a door for me that I was completely unaware of.
After that she gave us her tent - like a dugout. The kids could have a blanket and shade and sit, eat lunch, play, even nap. Days worth of hours under that tent.
I finally lost that tent in a thunderstorm at Ocean Beach in New London last summer. It stayed with us a long time. And the memories will last even longer.
Hammo. Ocean Beach. Harvey's.
All on the LI Sound. All beautiful and charming in their own right.
Feeling more adventurous? Rhode Island is right up the road.
Big waves, little waves. Water parks, straight sand and surf. Crabs. Snails and critters.
It's all right here. And it's what I long for as I shovel, salt and make trips to the post office to get my mail because our freaking mailbox is covered again.
Once my mom said to me "wow, you don't mess around when you go the beach, do you?"
No. I do not. I mean it. And I enjoy the shit out of it. So do my kids. So does my husband.
Once upon a time - we put the house on the market because Jay was consulting and we could, in theory, live wherever we wanted in the USA as long as we were close to an airport.
Well, that's too many choices, and we didn't sell.
But - when looking with all those hypotheticals - we learned a few things.
1. Where we are does not matter.
2. Being together, happily entrenched in a home we can afford and be comfortable in and have the few things we want while enjoying the quality of life we love, is what mattered.
3. A McMansion is a thing that people want when they can't afford it. Once you can afford it, it loses its appeal considerably. (This surprised me more than anything, I think).
4. We are (as my motherinlaw stated in her matter of fact/know it all way that only she can master without annoying me) "beach people".
We are beach people. We love "chowdah" and grilled swordfish and shishkabobs.
We like to eat outside.
We wear flip flops and know who carries what and how to clean up a beach space we have inhabited for 6 hours in 6 minutes.
I am certain my mother in law never expected our beach to be 4000 miles from her. But she was right. (She is often right. It's annoying at times but I appreciate the consistency and reliability).
So off we go.
I wonder, on the beaches of Southern California, 3 glasses in... Will people ask me if I'm from Connecticut??
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